I would say probably the epic fight over monogamy I had with Russell [Tovey] in the final episode. It really hit close to home. I had the monogamy conversations a million times with boyfriends and friends. Will we? Won’t we? What would it be like? It’s just something that’s been talked about a lot in different facets of my life.”
— Jonathan Groff answering a question about his toughest scene to film during season two of Looking in an interview with The Wrap
DDstar1me
I’m with ya Jonathan. It’s always a very hot topic amongst my gays.
This subject tends to hit a boiling point for us especially in this new era of sexual fluidity.
AtticusBennett
Monogamy works great when each partner wants to be monogamous for the right (non-jealous non-possessive) reasons.
Open relationships similarly work great when each partner wants the open-ness for the same reasons.
James Benson
Both of them are FUCKING GOOFS
DDstar1me
@AtticusBennett …. and how long before non-possessive allows territorial to gingerly creep in. wink! lol
Excellent points though.
badtungsten
Dan Savage’s “monogamish” has worked out well for my husband and me. But, we are honest with ourselves and each other so that’s probably the real reason we are successful.
Curty
I’m old school. If I’m in a serious relationship and call someone my partner, significant other… I expect us to be exclusive to each other sexually. That being said it can be difficult being a man and be exclusively with one person, but that’s where the other aspects of the relationship come into play. How well is the bond, things you all have in common and love for one another. Speak for myself I have a partner and yes when I’m on the road I do get tempted. But I think about how much my boyfriend cares about me and how it would hurt him if I stepped out on that way, so I resist. But yes the bond and understanding of the couple is very important.
DDstar1me
At the end of the day, when all is said and done, we are men. We are built for the hunt. Monogamy should in most cases=maturity. It’s wonderful when two men can have a deeply honest, respectful and loving relationship.
Masc Pride
Why does Queerty give this canceled show regular press like it’s still on? It’s gone. Time to move on, guys. lol
MarionPaige
the gay sex scenes (and general all around nudity) in Sense8 should finally put a f-king nail in the coffin of this claim that HBO’s Looking was some how this one of kind gift to gay content deprived homosexuals. It’s like the nude shot of German Actor Max Riemelt alone made my year (even though Max is German and seems to some how have a circumcised “America Friendly” penis).
in re monogamy, while it may be in every man’s nature to sleep around, it is not in any human’s nature to share something they love. Love is possessive and selfish.
darian
@Masc Pride: Give it time tom Daley and Aaron schock will be dominating this site again.
Stan Schulz
The show ended just as it was getting good.
Giancarlo85
@Masc Pride: I thought you like Russell Tovey because he’s soooooo masculine? LOL. But then again you called me a ladyboy lol.
Masc Pride
@Giancarlo85: Think I saw the show once or twice. None of the characters appealed to me. Russell Tovey isn’t someone I’d be into at all, so I know that was never said (just like everything else you make up).
Masc Pride
@darian: I actually didn’t mind all the Schock stories. Say what you want about the guy’s character, but he’s very easy on the eyes.
kayakriver
Monogamous relationship are the way to go, because most people cannot handle more than one partner, emotionally and psychologically it takes its toll.
Yes sure, whatever rocks your boat, but sooner or laters it gets even more messy than a 1 on 1 relationship.
Maleko
@MarionPaige: If you think love is possessive and jealous, you’re in for a lot of very short relationships’ Love cannot be selfish, nor closed off as those characteristics choke off the very thing you are trying to achieve. Love is generous, forgiving, and most definitely doesn’t comment about another man that is attractive to you by first asking why he is circumcised.
4of14
40th Anniversary, 15 June 2015. Can I get married, now?
Giancarlo85
@Masc Pride: But he’s super masculine and you always like fake super masculine guys. You should be totally into him.
And Schock? Easy on the eyes? You need some glasses.
Ladbrook
As with most concepts, there is no right or wrong. As another poster said, monogamy works great if both WANT it.
Personally, I’m not naturally monogamous, so I would never partner with someone who is and who expects that. I made it clear to the man I’ve been seeing for the past few years that I wanted three things: openness, honesty, and equality (meaning the same rules for him and for me). He said, “GREAT! Let’s do this!”
MarionPaige
There are some amazing shots of Max Riemelt in Sense8, including a full frontal nude of him coming out of a pool in Berlin and ending up at a wedding in India. However, as much as I want to believe that the full frontal shot is of Max, the guy was born in East Berlin, what are the odds that he’s circumcised?
https://youtu.be/ro6DEKjzX3c
OrchidIslander
@MarionPaige: Max Riemelt? Isn’t he one of the two lead actors from the movie Free Fall? He is smoking hot and really fine actor.
MarionPaige
@OrchidIslander: “Max Riemelt? Isn’t he one of the two lead actors from the movie Free Fall? He is smoking hot and really fine actor.”
You are correct sir. He has a scene in “Free Fall” in which he is shot as he walks out of the shower.
Brian J Smith (Star Gate Universe) was also in a gay film (War Boys?). Smith has more scene time in Sense8 and I assumed he would be THE hottie in the series. However, all of the men in the series are beautiful in their own way.
https://youtu.be/_DEweqrfKz4
Raphael
@DDstar1me: “We are built for the hunt” lmao that lie. stop imposing gender roles.
Kieru
@AtticusBennett: I wish more people (on both sides of the matter) held such an accepting opinion. As someone who prefers monogamous relationships I often hear from the polyamorous group that I’m ignoring nature or lying to myself or some other nonsense to diminish my choice as invalid. And from the monogamy side there is a huge “Oh so you’re just a slut?” vibe against the polyamorous.
And it’s repulsive.
If two consenting adults want to be monogamous good for them. If two consenting adults want to have an open relationship with whatever various terms they both agree with good for them. Unless you’re being asked to take part in their relationship it really doesn’t concern you in the slightest.
Glücklich
@Kieru:
100% agree with you.
As a guy who’s been in an open relationship for five years, open marriage for one, I’ve yet to encounter anyone who’s so brave to disparage my husband’s and my relationship(s) to our faces. People can think whatever they like about it.
Probably helps we (usually) live in San Francisco and that my nature is to just bulldoze through touchy subjects, people, and situations. I gots no time to pussyfoot around.
MarionPaige
I remember when I was younger (20’s), all of the “old” older gay couples seemed to be coupled in “open” relationships. They all came across like pathetic versions of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf”. MAYBE it’s cute for very young guys to be so into exploring sex and having open relationships BUT, by a certain age it just becomes so much of a joke. I mean, seriously,
if you’re in your 50’s and you and your 50 year old partner are talking about having “an undertanding” where you two 50 year olds have sex with other people, I’m here to tell you that most people are probably not intrigued, most people near you probably wish they were wearing hazmat suits (in re two 50 year old guys who was sexually active during the Aids Epidemic having sex with other people).
MarionPaige
there is an old book titled “The Male Couple” that examined the makeup of said couples. As I recall, it said one partner to long term male couplings was considerably older than the other. And, I think it said that most of the relationships were “open”. Don’t know how true this is today.
notevenwrong
@MarionPaige, in my experience it is usually the young guys who are into black or white monogamy. As people get older and wiser, things tend to become less black or white, which is why many more mature guys move away from absolutistic monogamy.
notevenwrong
@DDstar1me: “This subject tends to hit a boiling point for us especially in this new era of sexual fluidity.”
New? The sexual revolution is already half a century old, and for most gay men then monogamy certainly wasn’t a priority, and it still isn’t.
Cam
@notevenwrong:
Or it’s the fact that the older member was raised during a time when that was more common because gay coupling wasn’t accepted and coupling was attacked by some of the more angry activists as buying in to the straight lifestyle.
What was it Dan Savage said, he’d been to a lot of 1st anniversaries for “Throuples” but never to a 5th year anniversary for one.
MarionPaige
@notevenwrong: “which is why many more mature guys move away from absolutistic monogamy”
I’m sure many creative people, who have experienced “the rush of losing one’s self” for days / weeks / months long periods in some project, have had to weigh how RUDE and UNFAIR that experience can be to a partner or lover. Obviously,
many outrageously creative people have been partnered. However, once you’ve “wakened up” from a weeks long flood of creativeness and you’re not exactly clear on what day it is or “how long you’ve been out”, you have to face the reality that no partner (sexual or otherwise) can possibly duplicate that experience. I Guess what I’m saying is that
In my opinion, At a certain level of maturity and consciousnes / enlightenment (and I’m not trying to be rude), OPEN RELATIONSHIPS are as infantile as being partnered in the first place.
AtticusBennett
@Kieru: i’ve been in both types. monogamish worked best for me.
http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.ca/2010/01/what-is-monogamy-all-about.html
some guys view jealousy and possessiveness as good things. i’m not one of them.
you hear people saying “well, you’re open. that’s the beginning of the end”. not really.
there are also guys who want to be monogamous, but actually aren’t wired that way. so what do they do? serial monogamy. date and “be in love” until their sexual cravings take over. then they end the relationship, and start another monogamous “love” relationship. what’s odd about that is that in an effort to “not cheapen sex”, they’ve effectively cheapened LOVE.
i remember being called a slut by a guy years ago, and he was going on about how he “only sleeps with people he’s in love with, whom he’s in relationships with” – i pointed out that by having SEVEN boyfriends in two years, he’s effectively turned his heart into a whore.
enlightenone
@DDstar1me: “…new era of sexual fluidity…”
I call it sexual narcissism that is as old as life itself!
Joshua
The term partner is uses a lot. I don’t think it’s relevant or useful anymore; once you can get married
Partnerships do not exist anymore. The same terms used in Hetero relations ships are applicable to homo ones. It’s boyfriend, finance or husband now. Partner is just another way to separate homo relationships and should really be
Phased out.
Xtian99
@MarionPaige: @Masc Pride: probably because it is relevant…unlike you. see how that works?