LEGAL RIDDLES

Judge Forces DOMA Defenders To Answer Two Very Easy Questions

A judge has demanded that House speaker John Boehner’s DOMA-defending pal Paul Clement answer two very basic questions about why anyone would bother defending a discriminatory law already deemed “unconstitutional” by the Department of Justice:

1) “What, if anything, do you contend are the compelling justifications for section 3 of DOMA?”

2) “What, if anything, do you assert are the legitimate government interests rationally advanced by section 3 of DOMA?”

The Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group originally objected to the questions calling them “premature contentions” awaiting articulation in actual DOMA trials. But the judge called that argument “disingenuous” and wants an answer. Seeing as Boehner can’t even answer basic financial questions about the cost of defending DOMA, it’s best he has a lawyer to handle these puppies.

But we’ll save Clement some time and answer the questions for him. One, there are no compelling justifications for discriminating against legally married gay citizens. Two, DOMA advances no legitimate government interests.

See? That was easy! Our mothers were right; we shoulda been lawyers.

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