Casual sex. It’s always been a pretty huge part of gay culture.
Earlier this week, a young man shared a story about the time a Grindr hookup’s “hulk-sized d*ck” ended up rupturing his airway and sending him to the emergency room.
19-year-old Fredy Alanis spent three days in the hospital, where he posed for this selfie from his hospital bed:
Excuse the bad angle but remember when I sucked a hulk sized dick and ended up in the ER afterwards LMFAO never forget pic.twitter.com/dvaEITTcVs
— Freds Dead (@ELECTRIC_PAPI) July 5, 2018
“In the long run, to me, it was worth it,” Alanis told Into. “And I would do it over again.”
But what about gay guys who aren’t into random Grindr hookups or the potential for having their airways ruptured by complete strangers? Where do they fit into the gay community?
A few months ago, 25-year-old Liam told GQ that, despite being in his sexual prime, he hasn’t had sex in over a year.
Liam doesn’t think he has a low libido, he just doesn’t crave sex the same way his peers seem to.
“I certainly feel like there are expectations tied to gay identity surrounding sex,” he says. “I think there’s a perception among my peer group from straight people that they presume that I do have lots of sex.”
22-year-old Craig can relate. He broke up with his boyfriend nine months ago and hasn’t had sex once time since.
“I think we assume that a single gay man is having sex,” he explains. “But nine months down the line, I haven’t had any. None at all.”
He continues, “I think me being gay amplifies some of this pressure. There’s a focus on appearance, categorization, youth, and the like that colors dating and sex in our community.”
But these young men might not as out-of-the-ordinary as they feel.
A 2015 study conduced by researchers from San Diego State University found that millennials are actually having less sex than other generations despite having greater access to it thanks to dating apps and websites.
“Millennials hold the most permissive sexual attitudes of any generation, though they chose to have sex with fewer partners than Gen X’ers did at the same age,” Professor Jean Twenge said.
Some of this may be cultural. But it could also have to do with libido.