MAYBE NEXT TIME

Justin Bieber’s Penis Will Be Redacted From Police Security Footage. Sorry, Everyone.

rs_600x600-130702072250-600.biebssThe world is a dark, unforgiving place for anyone that hoped to get a Beiber peen shot out of the Miami-Dade security footage from Justin Bieber‘s arrest and urine test last month.

According to Miami-Dade County Judge William Altfield, the 20-year-old pop star may have “lost his expectation of dignity,” but not his expectation of privacy. His junk will be redacted by “shade or blacken” from several videos of his urine test and another of him peeing into a toilet.

The Beebs was arrested late January for drag racing his Lamborghini on a residential South Beach road under the influence of Xanax and marijuana. Footage of his detainment (including visible dick) are to be released under Florida’s public records law that makes evidence open to the media, but Bieber’s defense lawyers have argued that his cock shots being distributed to the public may be “inappropriate.” Pfft.

According to TMZ, video editors are “having a problem” blurring Bieber Jr. from one video “because he moves as he pees.” We’re hoping this means there will ‘accidentally’ be one or two frames of visible dick included, because as consumers of the music industry, we have a right to know what our idols’ genitalia look like.

I wouldn’t sweat it, though. This kid is fully capable of releasing his own cock shots someday in the future. Just be patient.

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18 Comments

  • Cam

    One or two pixels max.

  • NG22

    @Cam: Right? The freak out of his legal team regarding the penis likely means one thing–there’s not much penis. If he had a Tommy Lee between his legs, I’m sure he’d want people to know.

  • viveutvivas

    That’s okay, if someone wanted to see a ten year old girl’s penis, they wouldn’t be looking for it on this site anyway.

  • SF Native

    Why did this have to come to a legal battle. Everyone (even misguided DBs) deserve privacy when it comes to their private parts. Oh and the argument that he must have a “small” and that is why he is fighting the release of the video, is obnoxious. We all know that no matter what his size, there would be morons who would say he is small.

  • Caleb in SC

    I know this video is a public record, but I have a very difficult time with the fact that the police feel so free to share this simply because Bieber is involved. I am not a fan of his, but this crosses the line.

  • redcarpet

    His prostitute in Brazil says he’s swinging some pipe.

    To be honest though even if he had John Holmes between his legs his personality is so overpoweringly offensive I have no desire (sexual or otherwise) to see it.

    Just goes to show you physically beautiful people can be just as ugly as anyone.

  • SteveDenver

    They just don’t know how to blur out the labia.

  • Bad Ass Biker

    @Cam: All one inch of it, right?

  • Rad

    Bieber is a MALE? Every photo I’ve seen of Justin made me think “Wow! Hot lesbian!” Who knew?

  • Diana

    @viveutvivas:

    Come on guys; don’t disrespect (women) like that!

  • J2

    @Caleb in SC: I agree. Next time Americans feel a need to boycot Russian wodka, it wouldnt hurt to look at their own country as well.. Releasing involuntary nude pictures of somebody as a punishment for any crime is an absurd medieval practice..

  • LubbockGayMale

    @J2: Yeah, but it could be used as a powerful deterent to bad acts by some!

  • Merv

    I have to admit that he’s pretty hot, even with those obnoxious tats. Too bad he’s such a DB.

  • crowebobby

    I, for one, would love to see his dick.

  • jmmartin

    Damn!

  • jonjct

    i will be happy to have a look and report back to all the above (hilarious) posters ^ who claim they don’t care. this kid has no “pipe” as somebody noted, but still and all, i don’t think I’ve ever not looked if i could have. so, when it leaks, i’m looking.

  • scoobydube

    @redcarpet: Of course she is saying that he’s “swinging a pipe”. Just check his WALLET ……

  • Pax

    At least he’s intact like most normal men.

Comments are closed.