MAYBE NEXT TIME

Justin Bieber’s Penis Will Be Redacted From Police Security Footage. Sorry, Everyone.

rs_600x600-130702072250-600.biebssThe world is a dark, unforgiving place for anyone that hoped to get a Beiber peen shot out of the Miami-Dade security footage from Justin Bieber‘s arrest and urine test last month.

According to Miami-Dade County Judge William Altfield, the 20-year-old pop star may have “lost his expectation of dignity,” but not his expectation of privacy. His junk will be redacted by “shade or blacken” from several videos of his urine test and another of him peeing into a toilet.

The Beebs was arrested late January for drag racing his Lamborghini on a residential South Beach road under the influence of Xanax and marijuana. Footage of his detainment (including visible dick) are to be released under Florida’s public records law that makes evidence open to the media, but Bieber’s defense lawyers have argued that his cock shots being distributed to the public may be “inappropriate.” Pfft.

According to TMZ, video editors are “having a problem” blurring Bieber Jr. from one video “because he moves as he pees.” We’re hoping this means there will ‘accidentally’ be one or two frames of visible dick included, because as consumers of the music industry, we have a right to know what our idols’ genitalia look like.

I wouldn’t sweat it, though. This kid is fully capable of releasing his own cock shots someday in the future. Just be patient.