Kansas City Grandmother Wows Crowds With Her Magical Room Of Sequined Penises

ad_145917705Most grandmothers quilt things like misshapen scarves, patchwork jackets, or baby blankets. But not Holly Stewart. Her speciality is sequined penises.

Stuart, who lives in Kansas City, is currently showing her exclusive collection of quilted phalluses in an exhibition at the University of Missouri-Kansas City.

The exhibit, titled “Local Grandmother Quilts Giant Penises,” was inspired by Stuart’s time as an employee in a dildo factory, and was funded with money raised on Kickstarter. ($308 to be exact.)

In her official Kickstarter video, Stuart explains that she was looking for work on Craigslist when she stumbled across an ad for a position as a de-molder in a dildo factory. Naturally, she applied (and was hired!) for the job.

“One time while I was painting and it wasn’t working out,” Stuart explains. “I noticed I had some pins and foam core on my desk and added them in and brought it to my [art] professor for critique, and he immediately said ‘That looks like a dildo.’ ”

So Stuart got busy. She launched a Kickstarter page with pledge levels including “Chub,” where a $10 pledge got a person a bag of sequin semen, and “Schlong,” where donors received a stuff-it-yourself starter penis.

“Local Grandmother Quilts Giant Penises” runs through September 19 at the University of Missouri-Kansas City. One size queen visitor to Stuart’s “room of dicks” told the university paper of the artist’s designs “I really like them. I wish all real penises looked like this.”