Kanye West Declares (IN ALL CAPS!!!!!!) That He’s Not Gay

gallery-3120771AVN published an “interview” (which it has since retracted and made disappear from the Internets) with Kanye West in which the hip-hop star/fashion icon said that he was gay. AVN stands for ‘Adult Video News’, which explains why they didn’t bother to check their source, which was, I kid you not, a bulletin board posting on AllHipHop.com, claiming to be an interview from Kanye that said, “I’m open to doing porn. Hell, I’ll even do bisexual scenes — myself, another man and a woman or just myself and two women.”

Nor did they think to themselves, “Wait a second, isn’t Kanye performing at the inauguration? How does he have time to say he’d do bisexual porn on some bulletin board?” So, shockingly, it turns out that AVN is not a trusted news source, but the damage was done and Kanye turned to his blog to respond to the gay rumors–using many, many capital letters.

Says Kanye:

“YOOOO WHY WON’T YOU LET ME BE GREAT!!! I HAD THE TWO GREATEST DAYS OF MY LIFE AND WHEN I GET BACK FROM THE LOUIE SHOW I READ SOME SHIT CLAIMING I SAID I’M DOWN TO DO PORN AND SOME BISEXUAL PORN!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THE AVN WOULD POST FIRST PEOPLE BELIEVED THE TWITTER/STEVEN COLBERT THING, ROLLING STONE EVEN PRINTED IT!!!! NOW SOMEBODY HAS BEEN HACKING INTO MY MYSPACE AND SOMEBODY’S ACTUALLY HACKED INTO MY PERSONAL GMAIL ACCOUNT AND HAS BEEN EMAILING PEOPLE FROM IT… HEY WORLD I NO LONGER HAVE A GMAIL! I FOUND OUT I HAD TWELVE UNAUTHORIZED SKYPE ACCOUNTS UNDER MY NAME!!! THIS ALL IN THE PAST FOUR DAYS. WELCOME TO KANYE WEST WORLD! …. IT’S NOT OFFICIAL. I JUST GAVE THE PERFORMANCE OF MY LIFETIME FOR OUR NEW PRESIDENT … THEN I FLEW TO PARIS AND THEY DEBUTED MY NEW SHOES THAT I DESIGNED WITH LOUIE VUITTON WHICH WAS A DREAM COME TRUE. PLEASE I BEG YOU, GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME BE GREAT!!! WHO HAVE I HURT SO BAD THAT THEY WANT TO DESTROY ME? WHO HAVE I EVER SPOKE ABOUT SO NEGATIVELY? I JUST WAS SPEAKING WITH OUR NEW PRESIDENT TWO DAYS AGO… AND NOW THIS…. SIDEBAR… NEVER TAKE A PICTURE FROM MY OBAMA PERFORMANCE AND PUT IT NEXT TO A BS QUOTE LIKE THAT! THAT’S IN POOR TASTE! THAT UNDERMINES WHAT MY CONTRIBUTION TO THAT EVENT WAS AND SLAPS EVERYBODY WHO FELT UPLIFTED BY THAT PERFORMANCE IN THE FACE! A PICTURE SAYS A THOUSAND WORDS… LOOK HOW FRESH MY SUIT IS… NUFF SAID!”

We were going to fix the case on it, but we gotta let Kanye be Kanye, right?