Resigns As Bush's Lead Shithead

Karl Rove Out!

It’s a blessed day here in America. Karl Rove, the snake responsible for much of this administration’s evil, announced that on August 31, he’ll step down as President Bush’s senior adviser.

I just think it’s time. There’s always something that can keep you here, and as much as I’d like to be here, I’ve got to do this for the sake of my family.

Ack! This man has a family? Maybe there’s some dust up in hell that requires his assistance.

Rove’s timing seems a bit sneaky, of course. The administration’s “architect” came under scrutiny last month for his alleged role in the firing of federal prosecutors. When asked to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee, he refused, leading some to wonder if he’s resigning to avoid further scrutiny. To this, Rove replies, “I know they’ll say that. But I’m not going to stay or leave based on whether it pleases the mob.” Oh, Rove, don’t get us wrong, we’re thrilled, we just wish it had come earlier.