IMMACULATE CONCEPTION

Kerry Rhodes Pretends He’s Straight, Claims He Is The Father Of Kim Kardashian’s Baby

Screen Shot 2013-06-20 at 4.45.56 PMWe already knew NFL star Kerry Rhodes was (allegedly) a flaming homosexual, but who knew he could father the birth of an immaculate conception?

The former New York Jets safety has desperately been trying to shake gay rumors since photos of his alleged relationship with a male ex-assistant hit the web earlier this year, so hours after the birth of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s baby this week, he got to work on a brilliant plan to reclaim his heterosexuality in the most public way possible.

He just didn’t expect his brilliant plan to blow up in his face and look like a massive gay coverup.

Just one day after Kim Kardashian and Yeezus announced the birth of their daughter, Bossip reports that Rhodes sent text messages to a number of his friends suggesting he could be the father. Somebody get Maury on the phone.

“Man this could be my baby!!,” he said. “I was f*cking her the same time as K.West was lol!!!” Lol indeed, Mr. Rhodes, because the joke’s on you if that was actually happening.

Sources close to Rhodes tell Bossip that the allegations are probably false, and his internalized homophobia is getting downright annoying. “Kerry wants everyone to think he’s straight,” the source said. “He is so desperate that he will drag Kim Kardashian and Kanye West into this drama just so people can associate him with a woman instead of a man. It’s just sad at this point because everyone knows he’s gay…”

For what it’s worth, we secretly hope he is gay, and actually is the father of Kim Kardashian’s baby. Now that would be interesting…

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11 Comments

  • Geoff B

    Lol! He should have just kept his mouth shut. I mean, was anyone even talking about him anymore? The lady just doth protested too much.

  • Harley

    You never know. The lights were out in that 3-way and with the persistent gay rumors about Kanye……..

  • crybaby2

    Oh, you missed the baby shower.

  • Scribe38

    I am calling b.s. on this story. This dude is trying to keep stuff as quiet as possible. Everyone knows that kanye has a huge ego and a bigger mouth and the last thing rhodes wants is a song about him. Bossip is as bad as mediatakeout they clearly make up crap.

  • GeriHew

    Considering that probably at least half the men who have sex with men in this world also have sex with women this gossip is really pretty damned pathetic anyway you look at it

  • hf2hvit

    Maybe due to her hairy butt, he thought KK was a man…just like Kanye did

  • LadyL

    @hf2hvit: Wait, how do you know Kim’s butt is— you know what, I withdraw the question. Seriously, don’t tell me.

  • Scribe38

    @LadyL: come on you didn’t watch the tape?

  • LadyL

    @Scribe38: I’m too much the lady for such things, Scribe.

  • ShowMeGuy

    Oh ! My ! Cher ! You all are killing me. This is the best read I’ve had all day. Thanx.

  • crazycorgi

    Well . . . He’s black. That’s a start. If he has a big wad of cash that’s pretty much all it takes to get Kim Whoredashian to spread her legs.

Comments are closed.