IMMACULATE CONCEPTION

Kerry Rhodes Pretends He’s Straight, Claims He Is The Father Of Kim Kardashian’s Baby

Screen Shot 2013-06-20 at 4.45.56 PMWe already knew NFL star Kerry Rhodes was (allegedly) a flaming homosexual, but who knew he could father the birth of an immaculate conception?

The former New York Jets safety has desperately been trying to shake gay rumors since photos of his alleged relationship with a male ex-assistant hit the web earlier this year, so hours after the birth of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s baby this week, he got to work on a brilliant plan to reclaim his heterosexuality in the most public way possible.

He just didn’t expect his brilliant plan to blow up in his face and look like a massive gay coverup.

Just one day after Kim Kardashian and Yeezus announced the birth of their daughter, Bossip reports that Rhodes sent text messages to a number of his friends suggesting he could be the father. Somebody get Maury on the phone.

“Man this could be my baby!!,” he said. “I was f*cking her the same time as K.West was lol!!!” Lol indeed, Mr. Rhodes, because the joke’s on you if that was actually happening.

Sources close to Rhodes tell Bossip that the allegations are probably false, and his internalized homophobia is getting downright annoying. “Kerry wants everyone to think he’s straight,” the source said. “He is so desperate that he will drag Kim Kardashian and Kanye West into this drama just so people can associate him with a woman instead of a man. It’s just sad at this point because everyone knows he’s gay…”

For what it’s worth, we secretly hope he is gay, and actually is the father of Kim Kardashian’s baby. Now that would be interesting…

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