TAKING A STAND

Kevin Swanson Refuses To Buy Girl Scout Cookies Because He Doesn’t Want To “Support Lesbianism”

Right-wing radio host Pastor Kevin Swanson is absolutely livid with the Girl Scouts.

The Generations Radio host urged listeners Monday to refrain from buying Girl Scout cookies because, he claims, the little girls in green and white uniforms are “antithetical to a biblical vision for womanhood.”

Swanson, who recently blamed “decadent homosexual activity” for the floods in Colorado, told listeners that the Girl Scouts of America are a “wicked” organization that “promotes lesbianism and abortion.” He also accused the group’s cookies of being “food offered to idols.”

“I don’t want to support lesbianism, I don’t want to support Planned Parenthood, and I don’t want to support abortion,” Swanson squealed, “and if that be the case I’m not buying Girl Scout cookies!”

He then begged listeners to follow his lead. “Please, I beg of you, do not buy Girl Scout cookies,” he pleaded. “I beg of you. Stop buying Girl Scout cookies!”

Swanson added that the Girl Scouts are creating a generation of independent women who will put a “communist in the White House” and promote the “gay and lesbian agenda.”

He also warned that “lots and lots of lesbians” attend Girl Scout conventions and criticized the Girl Scouts for hosting openly-gay Mayor of Houston Annise Parker and singer-songwriter Sara Bareilles, who isn’t actually a lesbian but who has a strong lesbian following.

Frankly, if Swanson and his gaggle of radio listeners don’t want to buy Girl Scout cookies, that’s perfectly fine. More samoas for us!