Kidz Bop Un-Gays Gaga’s “Born This Way”

A thousand years ago, when I was a child, there was a big hit song on the radio called “One Toke Over The Line.” It was about weed. I was five. I sang along. I knew the words. I had no idea what drugs were. My mom didn’t care. Even better, they sang it on The Lawrence Welk Show, too. Nobody bothered altering lyrics. You really need to see it.

Fast forward to right-freaked-out-now. If you dare to walk to through the Valley of Auto-Tuned Child Performers, you could go ahead and watch the Kidz Bop kids’ “Born This Way” cover version video above. But you’ll probably turn it off after twenty seconds. Now go get a child and try to make her or him watch it. They’ll do the same. That’s because every little kid already knows that Kidz Bop isn’t the real deal. They’ve already learned all the lyrics to the real versions. It’s for parents who’re freaked out by contemporary culture. Call it Now That’s What Somebody Who Worries Too Much About Children Calls Music!

So the news that the latest installment of the dumbed-down children’s music franchise strips all the “drag” and “queen” out Lady Gaga‘s song isn’t much of a shock. It’s just idiotic, another attempt to “protect” children from something they never needed shielding from in the first place. If anything, grown-ups should try to protect their children from wanting to twerk it in a Kidz Bop video.