THE KIM DAVIS SHOW

Kim Davis Update: Paid Jail Time, Irreparable Damage And The Monday Morning Blues

ap_kim_davis_rally_jc_150909_16x9_992It’s the never ending saga of Kim Davis, and if you were cautiously hopeful the story was about to go dark, we’ve got bad news for you.

What — you think she’s going to crawl back into her apparently mirrorless cave of obscurity once she’s been handed a national microphone? What would Jesus do?!

Kim is currently “resting” at home following her stint in the slammer, undoubtedly taking calls from top conservative strategist goons and reading her baskets of hateful fan mail.

Related: PHOTOS: Kim Davis Memes Just Keep Getting Better

And before you think “Well maybe that unpaid time off will knock some sense into her,” it’s been noted that she’ll receive her full paycheck for both the jail time served for not performing her sworn duties, as well as the week at home.

Kim collects an annual salary of $80,000 whether she’s working, shopping for the latest fashions or taking time off for a nice relaxing week behind bars.

But come Monday morning, she’s expected to return to the Rowan County courthouse, where we have a hard time imagining she’ll return to business as usual. And if she expects to keep up her “no gays allowed” charade, it won’t be an easy battle. One of her deputies, Brian Mason, has already said he will defy any orders not to issue licenses.

Related: Kim Davis Leaves Jail, Gives “God The Glory,” Poses With Mike Huckabee

So how will it affect same-sex couples?

Well, one San Francisco couple has actually traveled to Rowan County, KY just to make a point by marrying in eye of this perverted religious hurricane.

Mark Shrayber and Allen Corona said they wanted to show their support for all gay couples.

“We are in 2015. We are not burning witches anymore,” said Shrayber, adding that he’s revolted to see Davis becoming “a martyr.”

But for others like David Moore and David Ermold, whose viral video of Davis refusing a license kicked off this whole shit show, the damage has been done.

Related: Kim Davis’ Marriage History Explained In One Handy Flowchart

“How am I supposed to walk down the aisle and stand at an altar without feeling some kind of hurt?,” Moore asked. “It’s never going to be a good memory. The entire experience is this tainted thing now. Even when we have our ceremony, people are going to ask us about it, they are going to say Kim Davis’ name.”

While the country remains locked in on the circus of it all, there seems to be only one logical outcome: Resign, Kim.

But now that she’s fully embraced her martyrdom, what are the odds this distraction will fizzle out quietly? Not high by our count.

We’ll find out on Monday.