The Brits have given King Charles’ coronation the shaft.
With the countdown on until Charles finally gets his bejeweled crown, some pranksters mowed a giant penis into the posh lawn of the Royal Crescent in Bath, England, where a large outdoor celebration is planned for the royal shindig.
The 30-foot long appendage appeared on Thursday morning to the shock of the residents of the high-end neighborhood.
Check out the royal package:
Although the coronation is set to take place on Saturday at Westminster Abbey in London, celebrations are planned throughout the country, including a lavish Georgian-themed party at the Royal Crescent.
‘’Celebrate the 300th anniversary of the Georgian era. Decorate your own regal crown, watch demonstrations on royal fashion and visit the Georgian Cook cooking up delicious recipes in the kitchen,” read a description of the party, according to the Daily Mirror.
Despite the crappy weather predicted to make a muddy mess of things, the obscenely funny gesture is not expected to disrupt the highfalutin festivities. Perhaps groundskeepers will be able to rub it out in time.
While it’s unclear who is responsible for cutting the phallic symbol into the grass, the X-rated display actually seems right on brand for for throwing back cocktails to toast a royal prick.
Related:
Princess Diana is being slut-shamed by royal insiders ahead of King Charles’ coronation
A former royal family employee is now claiming to have details about Lady Di’s sexual history.
On Saturday, Charles will be crowned King of England making the transfer of power official following the death of his mother, Queen Elizabeth II, on September 8, 2022 at the age of 96. She reigned for over 70 years.
In addition, Charles’ second wife, Camilla Parker Bowles, will be also be crowned Queen Consort, which is a fancy way of saying wife of the king.
Prince William and Prince Harry will be in attendance, along with William’s wife Kate Middleton. Although Meghan Markle was technically invited, she will not be traveling thousands of miles to be in the same room as the people who drove her out of England in the first place and will stay home in California with her adorable kids instead.
Following the formal ceremony on Saturday, King Chuck and Queen Cam are going to try to channel Loosey LaDuca and let loose with a star-studded concert on Sunday.
Among the acts set to take the stage on the grounds of Windsor Castle are Lionel Richie, Katy Perry and Andrea Bocelli. According to Buzzfeed, a slew of British acts such as Adele, the Spice Girls, Elton John, and Harry Styles all turned down performing for the new king. Bow down!
Those willing to get up at the crack of dawn can watch Chuck’s coronation starting at 6am ET on most major networks, or you can do Princess Diana a solid and stream Spencer on Hulu.
Related:
6 things I learned watching that trashy Diana-shaming King Charles documentary
I think we can all agree that when it comes to public figures you just really want to root for, Charles is fairly low on the list.
still_onthemark
All hail the Tampon King!
abfab
A mow and blow operation.
abfab
Lionel Ritchie? No.
rand503
The “people in the room” drove Meghan out of Britain because she is a manipulative narcissist who wants to isolate Harry from his family. I think everyone is sighing a big relief she declined to attend. At least Harry isn’t dim enough to try to tape his conversations.
Cam
What a shock, the same screenames defending Republican rac-ists don’t like a Black woman who didn’t tolerate being treated poorly.
Fahd
Queen Cam? very funny, but overall a dumb article (Johnny, how could you?) that sneaks in some biased pro-Meghan crap (nobody wants her ghastly bullying self there (or anywhere, really), and refers to King Charles as a “royal prick”. Very disrespectful! #LeaveKingCharlesalone
abfab
Isn’t it Queen Consort? I’ll be watching. I am an architecture fanatic and London is one of the great cities of the world. Long Live QE II and Diana. My passion for the family ended with those two fabulous women,
I do appreciate Chuck’s love of the natural world and great gardens, for which his country is most known.
Kangol2
King Tampon should be lucky he doesn’t have an Oliver Cromwell staring him down (and waiting to lop off his…well, cf. what happened to Charles I.)
Instead of spending $100+ million of taxpayers’ money, Britain, which is poorer and on the verge of dissolution (Scotland and Northern Ireland want out), could spend the money on its people, including the millions of poor(er) and working-class Britons.
Meghan, Duchess of Sussex is smart to keep many thousands of miles away from this spectacle.
Hermes in DC
Oh how terrifically clever. Do you think a bunch of sixth graders did this?
And I agree with rand503. Meghan Markle is a manipulative and conniving megalomaniac with a genius streak for PR and self-promotion. She even hoodwinked Oprah. A woman already dripping with privilege and she manages to turn being received into into her new husband’s famously reserved family as a modern-day form of chattel slavery. Please give me a break.
Cam
I love it when the right wing troll brings on different screenames to repeat ths same thing.
abfab
I’ve been studying this (how sick is that). It’s simple. Two parallel lines, 2 – three quarter perfect circles, one horizontal line, and a half moon dome. Some shrubs near the base would have been nice.
still_onthemark
@abfab: Bring us a shrubbery!
abfab
HEAD KNIGHT: One that looks nice. ARTHUR: Of course. HEAD KNIGHT: And not too expensive.
Cam
Fox News and Republicans have been going on and on about how great the old rac-ist lazy royals, who live off the British taxpayer are, and how a Black woman, who had her own jobs and actually earned her own money is a terrible person for not letting them mistreat her.
wade.l
Grow up Cam. The royal family is Great Britain’s biggest tourist attraction and nothing more. The pomp, pageantry and lifestyle is a boring endless series that even Hollywood can’t out do and the rest of the world unfortunately cannot get enough.
Openminded
Latest report says that taxpayers pay the approx. $1.61 per person to fund the royal family. They are a big tourist attraction. We have never had a president to cost us less than that here in America. Not saying they are good people, just saying that they aren’t the financial drain many would have you believe.
abfab
So says you, wade, your Royal Highness. Get some world culture under your belt, please.
abfab
Openminded. How do you define good people v bad people. You’re in way too deep.
Openminded
abfab, I’ll try to be short since most people don’t care for long posts here. If you will slowly read my post you will see that I was pointing out that the OP incorrectly, IMO, tried to indicate that the royal family is a royal drain on GB’s taxpayers. As for my definition of good people v. bad people. Good people strive for the full truth, regardless if it is convenient or not. Bad people troll for the sake of thinking they are being seen and envied. Sadly, you are too often a uninformed troll.
abfab
Denied. Your past post patterns are all we need to know where you stand.
abfab
Interesting how they managed to do this in front of a vaginal architectural masterpiece in a kingdom filled with obelisks.
MaxElgin
“…the people who drove her out of England…”? Talk about rewriting history. Meghan and Harry left of their own free will. Stay in your lane, boys.
abfab
It was very nice to see Harry in London today. Or, jolly good, rather!