In “how are we not past this?” news, 18-year-old Heartstopper star Kit Connor has been sexuality-speculated right off of Twitter.
The actor is part of a growing contingent of men in Hollywood who don’t care to publicly label their sexuality. Some take this as a progressive step towards general sexual fluidity and liberation, while others take it as non-queer people attempting to pander to (and profit from) the queer community.
The latter group took aim at Connor this week after he was seen out and about holding hands with his A Cuban Girl’s Guide to Tea and Tomorrow costar, Maia Reficco.
Many came to the star’s defense, pointing out that the moment neither defined the pair’s relationship nor his personal sexuality. Some pointed to him also having held hands with Heartstopper co-star Joe Locke at Pride London back in July.
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The drama of the whole discussion was apparently the last straw for Connor:
this is a silly silly app. bit bored of it now, deleting twitter 🙂
— Kit Connor (@kit_connor) September 12, 2022
His fellow Heartstoppers seem to support his decision, with Locke retweeting the post and actor Tobie Donovan giving it a like.
Related: Kit Connor is “perfectly confident” with his sexuality and he’s not here for anyone’s assumptions
This is far from Connor’s first time objecting to being speculated about. The star took to Twitter back in May to admonish folks for attempting to define him, writing, “some people on here know my sexuality better than I do.”
And just last month, the actor liked a tweet about him attempting to “beat the straight allegations”:
i have never in my life seen another person have to fight as hard as Kit Connor to beat the straight allegations and you people only think that because he’s what society deems masculine and that equates to straight for you…missing the ENTIRE point of Nick Nelson’s character .
— Maira (@maiylue) August 21, 2022
The growing conversation about with does and doesn’t constitute queerbaiting is a multi-faceted one, especially concerning folks involved in making queer media.
Harry Styles specifically has seen growing contempt as of late over his queer aesthetics, upcoming queer film role, and general kissing of men without being an out representative for the queer community. Whereas Styles still lightly interacts with social media (mostly to post tour pictures), the Cuban Girl’s Guide actor is deciding to disengage completely.
Related: ‘Heartstopper’ stars dance in front of anti-LGBTQ bigots at Pride London
There is a certain marked irony in this recent social turn, where rumors of a celebrity being straight can seem as harmful to their reputation as rumors of queerness have been in the past.
Perhaps this latest turn will settle the “straight allegations” once and for all for this young actor.
Diplomat
An actor running from the public isn’t going to work. It’s part of the job being public. Closing his Twitter account instead of being honest and forthright is pretty Trumpian actually, as the don’t talk run and hide scardy Kat Republicans are so famous for. It would have been much cuter if Kit had just taken the 5th.
CatholicXXX
It’s not that difficult to say, “I’m straight, but an ‘ally.'” The problem is he’s being coy about the whole shit.
Mattster
What are you talking about? How do you know he isn’t being honest and forthright? The guy doesn’t want to be labeled, a sentiment shared by many, especially young people who are increasingly rejecting the idea of a sexuality/gender binary.
This is not “Trumpian” in the least. Trump didn’t LEAVE Twitter, he was banned.
geekmeetsworld
He’s only 18
Chill out
monty clift
If people asking questions about his sexuality is all it took for him to run away from a social media platform maybe he shouldn’t have been on there in the first place.
Urban Geezer
I’m so tired of this particular social media invasion of privacy and judgement eager culture we’ve gotten ourselves into. I am an out retired actor and folks, you become an actor for many reasons but one of them is that you want to try on and explore other personalities sometimes using a lot and sometimes using a little of yourself to those ends. Acting is pretending. And a role should be cast by the best actor and type for the specific role. Even if you are in a public profession any part of your private life should be as private as you want it and specifically your sexual preferences. Just because an actor plays gay and isn’t or is should not even be in the equation. Enough already!
Jeffrey
If there was equality in Hollywood, that might be the case, but it’s not. Out actors are not hired as often as others. Closeted actors are encouraged to stay in the closet–which can go to the extreme of marrying an opposite-sex person. And straight actors who play gay are called “brave” and are given awards at a far higher rate than gay men playing gay. Fix those and then say it doesn’t make a difference.
BrownFriedRice
I swear, liberals on twitter have become the very people they once despised.
LumpyPillows
They have become extremely toxic. Smug and toxic.
bachy
Let’s see: what’s the Gay Twitter Mob demanding today? If you’re not carrying the latest, most suffocatingly woke Gay Identity Card:
1. you are not allowed to show any love or affection toward someone of the same sex
2. you are not allowed to wear colorful, gender-bending or sexy clothing
3. you are not allowed to portray a gay character in a film or television show
4. you must broadcast to the entire world exactly how you define your own gender and sexuality whether you want to or not
5. If you’re straight, you must adhere to the most restrictive interpretation of heterosexuality possible, or be called a ‘closet case’
6. If you’re making a love song, make sure you use emphatically heterosexual lyrics – lest potential fans imagine the lyrics apply to their own, unique romantic situations (aka “queerbaiting”)
God forbid Kit decides for himself how he wants to live – and ignores the mob. Because as history shows us, a shrieking, judgmental, condemnatory mob has always offered the very best advice on life.
geekmeetsworld
Use the word “woke” in an argument and you
1. Show your age
2. Lose the argument you’re trying to create
Cam
No, actually what people are saying is, Stop trying to insinuate you are LGBTQ when you aren’t to get our dollars.
I’m totally fine with actors being who they are, it’s the coy B.S. VERY reminiscent of the past when actors would play that game while winking to their P.R. agents and the studios. (Ha Ha, those folks will eat this up).
But it’s interesting that the right wing trolls who use the word “Woke” also always come in to vigorously defend the closet.
LumpyPillows
Yeah, Bachy got it right. What I find funny is how sensitive the trolls are to being called woke. It burns them like the sun to a vampire. You’ve destroyed the liberal effort to make the planet a better place by being so toxic and smug.
You do not get to dictate what people do or say, even if you are right. Being ageist or labeling people who disagree with you as something they are not does not make a winning argument, it just makes your thin diatribes all the more transparent.
The is nothing wrong with Kit. Leave him be. You don’t know him or anything about him…although you smugly think you do and your toxic attacks against him for nonsensically believing he is not acting enough like a heterosexual caveman are retrograde. Be better people.
monty clift
@LumpyPillows, Aren’t you the loser who was crying and having a meltdown over being called a TERF? Lol
bachy
I just hope young Kit manages to escape before the Twitter Inquisition chains him to the PC wall in Woke-atraz.
Donston
“Some take this as a progressive step towards general sexual fluidity and liberation, while others take it as non-queer people attempting to pander to (and profit from) the queer community.”
It can be seen as either or a bit of both, depending on the situation and the person. While very few actors/musicians explicitly took on “straight”, “gay”, “bi”, “queer”, “fluid”, whatever identities publicly 20 years ago. So, that’s not recent. What is recent is social media and constantly propping your identities up on social media.
Stuff like this is partly why I stopped pushing identity politics and representation politics a few years ago. Individual people and the internet at large too often uses them as weapons. And there are too many basic bitches constantly looking at public figures to represent them or be who they want them to be or reflect their fantasies.
The entertainment industry still has an issue with “queer presentation”, hetero pressures, femme-phobia, homo inferiority. The industry still mostly looks to “masculine”, “straight passing”, straight-presenting/ambiguous actors for high-profile “queer” roles first. As a society we still have the tendency of filtering people through hetero-normalcy until they state otherwise. There are many folks who try to appear more “gay” or “straight” than they are. There are definitely people who use “queerness” for sensationalism or as a stepping stone. (Many of the folks who do that are themselves in the queer spectrum). While no one owes the public any identities. We don’t know what identities someone has or hasn’t embraced in their non-public life, what fluidity or contradictions or confusions someone has or hasn’t experienced, what traumas or mental health issues or insecurities someone has experienced. And no matter what someone presents, no one truly knows the dimensions of anyone’s sexuality, their love, where they are in the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum.
It’s a much too nuanced conversation for Twitter (and probably for here as well). And young, silly fans stay not knowing how to act or engage when it comes to topic with layers. The hating Tweets and the comments here are both equally basic and “problematic”.
DarkZephyr
Donston, you have really been on this kick lately where you seem to truly be attacking the concept of “identity politics” and it makes me pretty curious what that term even means to you. So for the sake of clarification, what do you personally and specifically mean by “identity” and “identity politics” exactly?
For me, “identity politics” are politics based on *certain aspects* of our identities, be it our religion or lack thereof, our sexual orientation, our gender, our ethnicity or race, etc. These are pretty significant things. How we are treated by society, by law, where we can live, work, get medical attention, buy basic goods and services can be affected by these things. They still can, that hasn’t stopped. So this ferociously negative attitude that you have taken toward “identity politics” is puzzling to me. Usually when I see someone write sneeringly about the concept, they tend to be very conservative and they tend to be prejudiced bigots of some sort.
LumpyPillows
Donston is actually hitting the nail on the head. The liberal left seems to want to destroy gender and sex norms but then gets tied up in knots when someone dares to do so. They hate the old labels, but insist you use the new labels. Ironic actually.
The cantankerous right, of course, gets none of it right, which is why the battle is between the left and the middle at this point.
Donston
Both DarkZephyr and Lumpycheeks are missing the point. I’m Progressive and a socialist. So, miss with that “Woke-ness is ruining the world” nonsense. But I can also recognize and acknowledge toxic tendencies on social media that aren’t benefitting anyone. I can see that as a society we still have a long ways to go as far as understanding how individual sexuality and gender and psychology and love is and how the identity obsessions don’t always help with that understanding. And I can see how queer identities, queer behaviors, queer aesthetics have become dress-up for a lot of people and has led to a led of messy behaviors and narcissism and leeching. As I said, there’s an annoying desire to simplify complex or individual topics.
DarkZephyr
“Both DarkZephyr and Lumpycheeks are missing the point.”
Me “missing the point” is always possible because we can’t always know for sure what a person is driving at. That’s partly why I asked for clarification and why I explained my reason for asking.
I’m still curious to know what the term means to you. If you would rather not say, that’s your prerogative.
cuteguy
Kit Connor is a legend in the making. Love him and his incredible work. Ppl attacking him are just jealous and bitter bc they are obviously miserable in their own lives. He’s an actor playing pretend. No one should care who he sleeps with. Heartstopper is an instant classic
Donston
I get what you’re saying, but calling him a “legend in the making” for being a 19 year old giving a decent performance in a decent project is kind of a stretch.
It’d also be nice if people stop whittling down “sexuality” and discussions about identity and queerness to “who someone sleeps with”. First, it’s like saying you can’t be “straight” or “gay” or anything else unless you’re having sex with someone. Sexual behaviors is not “sexuality”. It’s an aspect of sexuality. While sexual behaviors definitely don’t represent the gender, sexual, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum. People and their sexuality, identities, dimensions, preferences, journeys, struggles, love, relationships is not merely “who someone sleeps with”.
monty clift
It seems to be the panderers and grifters that get the most offended when someone dares asks a question about their sexuality, and it’s always framed as an “attack” or “mob” when in actuality it’s barely even a handful of comments. These grifters and panderers are desperate to be victims, too, it seems.
Davy
Be even nicer if people just STFU and realized we really don’t need to read or hear their opinion on everything. You aren’t smarter. You don’t have a better insight. No one on here really cares. Go out in the world and make a difference because hiding behind a faceless post and rambling on about how intelligent you THINK you are is exhausting. You don’t need to comment on everything. Your comments are so self absorbed and come across as close minded and conceited. We all have our opinions. Fortunately some of us are a little more self disciplined in thinking our opinions are so important and correct that everyone must hear them and would benefit from them. Get over yourself. Mary Poppins called and she wants her umbrella back cause you are NOT practically perfect in every way. Comment on the article but no one needs your sad attempt at trying to portray yourself as some holier than thou know it all whose words matter more…. they don’t. Your comments do not hold more weight, make more of a difference, have more insight or cause any major impact. Many of us have educations which surpass your own. So you can correct your mistaken tone that you and your opinions are of any more significant than ours, Karen. Thanks!
DarkZephyr
Jesus H. Christmas.
People should be able to hold whoever’s hand they damned well want to, dress however they damned well want to and be as open OR private about their sexual orientation as they damned well want to without absurd online mobs attacking them.
monty clift
“i have never in my life seen another person have to fight as hard as Kit Connor to beat the straight allegations”
WTF is she talking about?? Lol This b*tch sounds exhausting.
Vince
She sounds like a teen fan.
Cam
I always find it surprising that people react so over the top when they do an LGBTQ movie, insinuate they’re part of the community (Say by holding a man’s hand out in public) and then being SO offended that people ask “Oh, are you two dating? Are you LGBTQ?
If somebody is walking through the neighborhood holding hands with somebody, and a neighbor says “You make a cute couple, how long have you been together?” Is that neighbor a horrible person for inferring that they’re together?
As somebody else pointed out, it seems to usually be the people trying to play games who get upset when asked a question.
someplace
If you’d asked me when I was his age, I’d have said I was straight. This kid is an actor, not a politician causing us harm. Harassing him like this is just all kinds of wrong.
UserSimon
So, I saw the thread on Twitter yesterday. The conversation eventually evolved to Kit Connor quit twitter so I blocked Liam Payne (formerly of One Direction). Apparently it is a Tik Tok trend but am unsure if it is only Liam Payne or what. I’m so confused. I am confused and surprised and honestly, I’m having a proper full on gay crisis! I am just so confused. I’ve just been so, so confused.
IvanPH
I guess Kit Connor was “inned” after the pictures were published.
DBMC
Oh my God! Just leave him alone!
Jeffrey
There’s a trend of men playing gay or bi roles trying to pretend that they are gay or bi. It’s disrespectful to pretend to be something you are not to avoid the frank discussion about gay roles being played by straight men.
Harry Styles, James Franco, Kit, Andrew Garfield, etc. Rather than admit they are straight, they play these ridiculous word games to keep the pretense. Garfield said that he was gay in every way except physically. Harry said he’s never been public with a relationship, just after holding a woman’s hand in public? We don’t need this kind of “help” because it always ends with the truth coming out and the fanbase being disappointed again by straight people’s lies.
Steve
Here’s my take on this complicated issue. First of all, duh, it’s complicated. Closeted gay people have had to live in fear around the world for decades, and many millions, still are. While I totally agree, that no one should be forced to state for the record, especially at a young age, although he’s now a legal adult which isn’t that young, I do wish we lived in a world where people could be honest about who they are without fear. I think that’s the thing most people are missing. When a public figure comes out, they must overcome a load of fear, and it many cases it can mean a load of immediate fear of losing their future career. Just take a moment and think about the life of Colton Haynes if you don’t believe it. Meanwhile, celebrity or not, there are still many millions of people worldwide who live in countries where being gay is not ok. Not just a few countries, but many countries, maybe even we could say, most countries. Forget even about whether gay people can get married, I’m talking about even being gay.
So, therefore, coming out represents, a sort of luxury that not everyone has.
And this is the part where, it’s very difficult because on the one hand, celebrities should have an easier time coming out because many have that luxury, that doesn’t mean they should have to come out. On the other hand, they must feel intense pressure to do so whether they want to or not because they have to realize that by not taking advantage of what could be a luxury for them, they might be sealing more people in the closet forever.
Clearly, the more people who come out, not just celebrities, but in all walks of life, the better it could potentially be for all people. In my own experience, I’m still not completely out, but I can see that I have helped change the opinions of who gay people are in the minds of many people I know who previously were homophobic. They suddenly realize they’ve been friends with and liked a gay person for years, so, therefore, we must be ok. One of my best friends said, “Before I met you and your boyfriend, I thought being gay was all about sex, but now I see it’s all about love, sex or not.” It felt really good to know that this formerly very right wing, Christian woman, and daughter of a Christian minister whose faith runs deep, had not only accepted the true me, but all gay people in the same fell swoop.
Nonetheless, I am not out at work, because I live in a don’t ask don’t tell sort of country where you can be fired for being gay and deported. The sad reality is, there are too many countries on this list.
So, celebrities are in an awkward time where they can feel pressure to come out, to do their own good on a larger scale. Add that to the general pressure, and it’s a pressure cooker for them.
With that said, unfortunately, I do have to say that I feel if you take a role that’s obviously the very opposite of who you really are, it adds to the complexity. Actors should be able to portray anyone depending on how great they are — even people of the opposite gender plus every other difference there is (race, religion, nationality, etc.). That is the purpose of acting — becoming someone else.
What’s hard for us now, and it’s not just hard for the people of diverse and under-represented biological sexualities and genders , it’s hard for those of all forms of under-represented differences be they race, religion, age, nationality, or otherwise. What happens when under-represented characters get played by over-represented actors? What happens when over-represented characters get portrayed by under-represented actors? These questions get even more complicated and made difficult to answer by the fact that some under-represented actors can pass for over-represented characters while others have a harder time at that.
Which brings us to the case of Kit Connor and other young people who choose to portray under-represented characters. Unfortunately, I am going to have to side with the idea that because the choice to portray the under-represented character is a choice whereas being an under-represented actor is not, there is more onus on the actor to be more upfront about who he or she really is. Otherwise, it creates an extra-level of unfair imbalance. A young black actor, for example, who is hired to portray a traditional character thought of as white, cannot hide this fact. Therefore, it seems unfair that a straight actor should be able to slip into the role of gay character and not also need to reveal the reality of biological sexuality.
Finally, on the matter, I want to say again, I really wish we all were fortunate enough to live in a world where it didn’t matter and nobody cared nor speculated about such things. I wish we all lived in a world where all human beings could be treated equally and fairly and celebrated as much for their differences as their similarities. I wish we lived in a world where loved always triumphed over hate. However, that is not the world in which we live, at least not yet, and it probably won’t ever be as long as people continue to be forced to hide or choose to hide.