Concert Pics: Kylie Minogue I LOVE YOU! CALL ME! KYLIE 4_EVER!!

JJ Keyes attended Kylie’s concert and snapped a few photos for us. Try to contain your excitement. Or don’t!

OMG! Aphrodite Kylie Minogue mounted her Golden Pegasus and came to  America.

Bitch gets more fierce every second. She can do anything, really, except sell records to America!  I mean, look at those shoes. Eat your heart out, SJP!

Wipe that drool off your mouth. Sure, they’re wearing white before Memorial Day, but hands off! They’re mine!

I mean look at her. She’s a goddess. I don’t care if you’ve been listening to her since the Locomotion–I discovered her first.

I almost killed the fucker on the left with his stupid “It’s my Birthday!” sign. DON’T DISTRACT HER, I’m her “Cupid Boy,” She’s singing to ME!

You’re “Like a Drug,” Kylie. Call me. I “Can’t Beat the Feeling.” Tweet me. “Breathe.” Be my best girl friend.  “Come into my world.” Write me. “Confide in me.” IM me. “I just can’t get you out of my head.” She’s looking at me. OMG. She’s looking at me. Sure she’s wearing tin foil but she’s looking at me.

Wings, fucking wings. Bigger than Heidi Klum’s in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Girl, I’ll be your angel any day of the week. Except Tuesday, I’m having Swedish meatballs with Robyn at IKEA that night.

I have to admit, I shed a few tears as her dancers set up for “All the Lovers”…

At the end of the show I was so close that the confetti and glitter knocked me in the face and gave me a black eye.  I told my coworkers I fell down the stairs and they bought it. You’re like an abusive husband, Kylie, but I don’t mind.

Call me! I’ll relocate to London, Australia, Zimbabwe, the moon. Tell those other gays to “Get Outta My Way” and make ME your new gay best friend.