In Quotes

Lady Bunny: “Let’s cancel Gay Pride!”

“Let’s cancel gay pride! Instead, let’s just fight over the fucking flag this year! Let’s fight over the correct terms for everybody. Let’s dismiss everyone who doesn’t want to transition as a privileged cisgender. Let’s spar over the name of our own damn community–is it gay, LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQIA or did we bring back two spirits yet? I also saw a Y in there recently and have no idea what that even is.

Let’s admit right now that we hate each other as a community, and that we’re too ungrateful to celebrate the freedoms which we do have once a year. Let’s compartmentalize ourselves into bears, twinks, butches, femmes, trans, tops, bottoms and those who claim they have no gender to further divide an already small community which does not have rights to equal housing and employment. And we’re even barred from using the bathrooms of their choice in some states!

That’s a surefire way to make sure we’ll never get equal rights. Let’s boil it down to the tiniest arguments which will mean nothing in six months or even six days. If we took the energy and vitriol we reserved to pounce on one flag variation in one city and turned it on those who seek to destroy our rights, we’d be running the world tomorrow and we’d all have gorgeous new hairstyles to boot.

And in our supreme jadedness of which I am also guilty, let’s try and remember that there are young members of our own tribe who have gotten nothing but soul-destroying messages from their schoolmates, their churches, and even from their families. Do they need our help? They need to see large groups of their own tribe in a festive environment so that they don’t feel so alone. They need to see happy and proud gay, lesbian, transsexual and every color of the rainbow folk actually liking and supporting each other.

Or would youth even want to join this community if they saw the way we’ve been acting lately?”Lady Bunny, speaking her mind about the Philadelphia Pride Flag nontroversy

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43 Comments

  • Xzamilloh

    Look, we already know that identity politics have only further served to divide us into more categories that exclude others and create more oppressors and enemies. It’s amazing how when I look at the 90s culture, none of this crap was as bad as it is now… just race this and race that and sexist this and sexist that and just lowering the bar so that any perceived front is just an “ist” or a “phobe.” It’s insulting to the intelligence of the average person who knows real hatred and violence when they see it.

  • Shane110873

    Totally agree with Lady Bunny! I have not seen a lot lately that has made me proud to be a gay man, especially during the month “we” proclaim to be Pride Month. Let’s stop chopping ourselves up in little pieces and come together as a “Community”. I have seen many people, mainly millennials, whose answer to not liking “labels” is to create more… I don’t get it. Maybe I’m just old. Ugh.

    • silveroracle

      Totally agree.
      We need to come together as one.

    • bjohnmasters

      Sadly, I have to agree. So, we feel the need to add black and brown to the Pride flag to recognize people of a certain race….I never thought the Pride Flag was representing any race. As a fairly light skinned white guy, I get pretty red when out in the sun all day (without SPF 100), but other than that, I don’t know any green or purple people. Is there some racism in the gay community? Sure there’s some. We have all the same issues the larger community of people has. I don’t like that, but are we going to add a white stripe, and a cream colored stripe, and a ginger colored stripe…and as she notes, I feel like I’m having to learn the entire alphabet in a whole new order lately.

      Make no mistake…the goal of Republicans/Conservatives has always been to divide the rest of us into as many discrete groups as possible…then it’s very easy to create a circular firing squad. So far, we all seem to be playing along with their plan rather nicely. We will regret the day.

  • Orgoglio Masch

    What is the pride flag controversy? To answer Bunny’s question, no, I wouldn’t want to join and be a visible part of this community. We’re automatically part of it because of sexuality, but I think the concept of coming out and being a visible member is rapidly declining.

    • seaguy

      Coming out is still coming out but it is not such a fearful and stressful even because now many times the person coming out is met with support and acceptance from the start. As far as visibility part of that was also because the only place one could really meet other gays back in the day was the bars so you kind of had to be out if you wanted to go to the bars especially in smaller cities, or you’d be living in fear all the time that someone might see you entering the gay bar. Now there’s the internet to meet others so visibility is not as much required as before.

  • Oakknot

    Unfortunately, living in So Very White Portland Oregon, I don’t know the controversy intimately. I will welcome anyone who wants to celebrate Pride with me.

  • skilos

    Why doesn’t Bunny put a black garbage bag over her head, and secure it with a tight elastic band. This would get rid of one of the problems in the GAY community. And one ugly whatever it is.

    • SailorVenus14

      Honestly stfu and gtfo you garbage.

    • Curtispsf

      I would call you a scumbag, but THAT is an insult to all decent scumbags. So kindly GTFOTP (Get the Fock Off This Planet) you lowlife POS.

    • seaguy

      Why don’t you take your own advice because Lady Bunny has more talent in her wig than you will probably ever have in your whole life. And since you’re such a judge of what is ugly and what is not how about posting your photo so you can be judged like you did to Lady Bunny?

  • KaiserVonScheiss

    She makes some good points. Identity politics only divides.

  • Chris

    The “controversy” involves Philadelphia Pride which added brown and black stripes to the rainbow flag in an effort to more assertively include black and brown people in pride. ….. Having experienced the extreme homophobia of my fellow Latinos and seeing it played out within the Black community, my first reaction was that this is yet another effort at being politically correct. However, a few martinis later, I’m willing to let this play out in hopes that gay folk and the rainbow flag are better included in anti-racist events. If that doesn’t happen, then adding two stripes to the rainbow flag was little more than symbolic politics at its best and a power play at its worst. In either case, it’s not worth getting all upset about.

    • KaiserVonScheiss

      Adding black and brown stripes to the flag is pointless and stupid. You’re right that it’s just more political correctness. Was anyone ever suggesting that the flag didn’t represent blacks or Latinos?

    • Curtispsf

      Using your logic, how about adding some white stripes for snow bound Intuit folks? And while we’re at it, how about a red or ginger stripe for all hopelessly discriminated against Gingers who are really mighty fine people except for that “world domination thing” ? And how about green for the Irish? I’m fine with adding ALL the colors you want to the flag EXCEPT after that DON’T CALL IT A RAINBOW FLAG anymore.

  • Kieran

    Is she really suggesting that the gay community go back to focusing on embracing all the myriad types and differences (political and otherwise) of gay people in a united movement to advance gay acceptance and civil rights, instead of demanding blind allegiance to a narrow political ideology?

    What kind of nutty, radical idea is that?

  • NHCPrideGuy

    As a Pride Festival Creative Director and Organizer, I must agree with “The Lady” and thank you for speaking OUT!

    First, I’d like to wish everyone a happy and “SAFE” Pride Month, and while you enjoy the celebration keep this in mind.

    But the PARADE must go on – It’s the visible heart of our community, it’s a celebration and a reminder of where we have been, where we are, and where we are going. I’ll be the first to admit that Pride has become more commercial – but as hard as it is to swallow we all must keep in mind one must get payed to play!

    Pride Festivals may change forms over time but “Pride” at its core will always be a platform for our collective voices to be heard. It has never been without controversy and protest. What it has NEVER been – or never should become is a platform for community Infighting.

    We must to move forward, look past the current political climate which seems to be more and more Hateful with its own self-serving agenda, let us NOT feed into it. Remain vigilant for this will pass. We need to work together as one community to celebrate our equality. Let’s be mindful and not give “them” what they want. The more we are divided the closer they are to winning. We have fought to long and too hard to give in now!

    Get together and Celebrate the diverse family that we are. We will always be stronger together and at the very least we owe it to our brothers and sisters that came before us fighting with their lives so that we might live and enjoy the “RAINBOW” of equality and love that we all deserve.

    • Bob LaBlah

      “As a Pride Festival Creative Director and Organizer, I must agree with “The Lady” and thank you for speaking OUT!”

      For me it seems like yesterday morning when I used to trek from Washington, DC to NYC twice every summer to be at the Pride Parade and WIgstock. Wigstock has long since gone but the parade is still there. One year (2006) I saw one of the most disgusting pride parades that could have been held. A young man wearing a jockstrap and black leather boots decided it was fashionable to walk down the parade route with a small American flag sticking out of his rear end. I had already thought the scantly clad Muscle Mary’s and the bare bubble butt leather chaps wearers had become a bit much but the actions of the flag “waver” was too much. Had an officer tried to arrest him on public indecency all out hell would have broken loose.

      Its time to set a standard for parade participants. The older I get the more I begin to realize the “old queens” from just a few years ago were right when they say Pride has lost both its direction and purpose. Has anyone noticed how few and few older members of our community are attending these events? I don’t believe they have all died off. I believe they see it as what it has become and decided to stay away, not that it has much effect on crowd size.

  • David

    I think taking the rainbow flag, and turning it into something that isn’t a rainbow is pretty offensive. And I think they ought to have known that. The flag already stood for inclusion on everyone. There are other times of the year and other celebrations that involve anti-racism. We still have 13 year olds killing themselves rather than come out in the places they live. Turning Pride into an anti-racism thing instead of focusing on our continued problems is really short sighted.

    Like seriously, what’s next? Homophobia is rampant in a lot of non-white communities, and communities actually works in this case because they are sections of towns and cities, and it’s almost like we’re saying, that’s not a big deal. Like here’s the thing, gays, lesbians, bi and trans people, most of them actually identify with the the whole pride thing or they just stay home whatever. I’d say most black and brown folks, don’t. Plus they put it on top, like we’re now second class citizens in our own thing. It’s bad design, bad symbolism, and heavy handed politics.

  • Richard 55

    Lady Bunny seems to be making some interesting but contradictory points.

    My view is that Pride Marches have turned into Halloween. The real meaning has been erased.

    Instead of being about male homosexual rights – the most truly victimized band of the rainbow- Pride has been over-run by women and trans genders, as well as sexual fantasies and categories that cater to them.

    The erasure of male homosexual rights from the Pride manifesto is the biggest problem that is occurring right now. Women, trans genders and even some drag queens need to take responsibility for this regressive direction..

    • Curtispsf

      Another right wing gay hating troll for white male privilege. I seem to be seeing a pattern with your posts Richard 55. May I suggest moving the speed limit up to 65? That would allow more enlightened people to pass you by…as they’re no doubt doing already.

    • seaguy

      They have not turned into Halloween, we have Halloween on Halloween. Not sure what Pride you attend but no ones erased male homosexual anything from Pride in Seattle. Additional groups have gotten involved so it is not just about gay men as much as it was in the past but that is not erasing male homosexual rights it is about including our lesbian sisters and our bi brothers and sisters.

  • JLJ

    Excellent speech Ms. Bunny.! And sadly needed. Thank you.

  • EPatchAdams

    I’m torn about this. I came up in the community, in San Francisco, when everyone who was LGBTQ (and our LGBTQ supporting friends and family) were part of who we were as LGBTQ folk. We were inclusionary by default. We were a family because we, as LGBTQ folk in the 80s and 90s were a minority towards whom the general population was hostile, and we had to stand up for each other regardless of any other facet that contributed to our individuality, including race. We were FAMILY, and for some of us, the ONLY family we had.

    But now, now that being queer, and the many many variants of “queer” is far more tolerable in society, somehow this FAMILY has turned its back on people of color? Somehow POC aren’t included? I recognize and celebrate the differing cultures that make up the LGBTQ community! At every Pride event I’ve ever been to all over the world, we celebrate the diversity of our family in food, dance, art, music stages, speakers, performers, and every individual’s struggle under the umbrella of LGBTQ – which is exactly the point of being part of this family!

    There are events now, and I just read an article about this out of New York, which are African-American only Pride events. This article goes as far as to state that I, as a gay white male, should understand and respect that I am not welcome at a Pride event. Very specifically, an African-American Pride event. My friends, who I came up in this community loving, protecting, and caring about, are mostly POC… and my friends… my FAMILY, was appalled at the notion that I, a gay man, would be shunned from a Pride event for any reason. Proclaiming non-inclusion while holding separate pride events where non-POC LGBTQ are not welcome does not mesh. You can’t have it both ways.

    We all understand the need for a place to celebrate our triumphs and struggles as LGBTQ folk with a strong influence of our other identities which is why our local clubs have hip-hop night, drag night, country night, Latino night, and our identities are represented at Pride events.

    The author here portrays the black/brown iteration of the rainbow flag as just that, an iteration. That is not, however, how it was unfolded. It was unfolded as a replacement. One that was needed because somehow, the race war outside the umbrella of inclusion that IS THE POINT of the original flag, has permeated into this family. This is the reason people take issue with this intended replacement of the original rainbow flag, because it represents a alleged failure of everything we have worked so hard for – standing up for each other, loving each other, protecting each other.

    Is standing by the symbol of the original rainbow flag, as representing my LGBTQ family inclusively and wholly, a hill I’m willing to die on? Yes. And I’m willing to go to war behind my family who are POC for race equality in all aspects of life, and I’ll die on that hill too for them! But these are separate hills, and isolationism inside the LGBTQ family is only going to fracture us and make the fight of race equality harder. LGBTQ folk are allies in the fight against racism.

    The point of this middle-aged white gay guy’s rambling is to remind everyone in this family that the LGBTQ community and its flag harbors inclusion. Inclusion of all our family.

    • Curtispsf

      OMG. You said everything I wanted to say on the issue only 1,000 times more cogently and effectively. THANK YOU for being a voice of sanity and reason. I’m with you 100%. LGBTQ for ever !

  • Josiah Freshmount

    I did not give much thought to the flag variant, but after reading the comments here I can see there is plainly a need for it. Two damn stripes added to a flag and a certain part of the community suddenly reveals that they aren’t at all different from evangelical Republicans who wrap themselves in the flag while demanding their view hold supreme and anyone who objects to their privilege is being “divisive”. The tone in these comments is the same as what you read from those who just don’t see why those Confederate monuments should be removed from the public square.

    If you really believe everyone is equally part of the community then everyone should have equal say in how they are represented.

    All this over two damn stripes. Que “the make our community great again” movement.

  • batesmotel

    She’s right on the money. I’ve never seen a gay pride parade. Don’t care to. Never did. Been to Pride a few times. It was dull and trashy with advertisers trying to sell gays products. Nothing great about it at all. No culture or history the way other festivals such as Greek or renaissance or what have you incorporate. And now Pride definitely no longer has any meaning. There is no real gay community. It’s only one tiny shred of a percentage who are clones of one another thinking they’re speaking for all gays when they’re not. They’re isolated and only follow the stereotypical gay fads. Pride should be dismantled. It’s a joke now.

  • Chris

    Wilton Manors celebrates Pride today. Last year, the Pulse shootings added a somber sense to the celebrations; I went to heal and to feel a sense of our community. And one year after Pulse, the bars have hired bouncers who are checking people’s bags at the doors; City Hall is flying a two-tone flag representing the trans community; and the police will be out in force. And we’ll all march and party under the rainbow flags that are flying everywhere. I won’t pretend SE FL has it all figured out; but that shooting added a sense of “we’re all in this together” to Pride.

  • Kris

    Here in Toronto we’ve had some issues… Last year’s Pride March was halted by Black Lives Matter Toronto/Canada… They sat on the parade route and halted everything with a list of demands for the pride committee. The then committee head signed the list of demands to get the parade moving again. The Parade that had our Prime Minister, Just Trudeau marching in it as well as other party leaders.
    One of their demands was that police no longer participate in the parade, at least not in uniform… Since then it seems as though the Pride committee has completely changed hands and they are still not allowing police to participate, hence why our police have been invited to participate, in uniform at the NYC Pride instead. Therefore I am boycotting Toronto Pride this year in solidarity with the police. A symbiotic relationship that has traken years to form has been thrown out of the window by a group demanding attention. I was shocked that the committee caved to their demands. I have many friends that are police officers and I cannot participate this year in good consciencse…

    • KaiserVonScheiss

      Good, nor should you.

  • Mandrake

    The GLBT community is trying its hardest to INCLUDE anybody who is not straight. It can’t!

    Every individual, regardless of orientation, is different from every other GLBT person in one way or another. Let’s stop this nonsense with a multitude of labels and political correctness, and go back to its roots: GAY and leave it at that. Lesbians are included as well as bisexuals who have a gay side, as are transgenders if they want to be included. We cannot be cohesive as a community by putting a label on every variation of individual that has a gay side.

    • burningtyger

      But stuffing them all under one label doesn’t seem to work either.

  • excusemydust

    I’m going to try to be as careful with my words here as I possibly can be, truly. If even the possibility of a discussion regarding adding a stripe to the Pride flag to represent people of color who are members of our community sets you off, then perhaps you’re not as inclusive as you think you are. We need to examine how our community can be more inclusive, and set about doing that–we can’t achieve it by whitewashing numerous identities in the name of “unity.” That’s not unity. Those of us who are cisgender white gay males need to take a step back for a moment and realize that we can’t speak for everyone, and people telling us that we can’t is not an attack upon us.

  • Bob LaBlah

    I am not going to direct this question at any commenter in particular but I think its time to ask it. Wasn’t the present colors of the Pride flag chosen so that no one group appear dominant in the gay community at large? Why is it that the community members of every nation that allows its gay citizens to have a Pride festival (including Taiwan and other Asian nations, Europe, Central and South America as well) have all accepted and are happy with the flag and its colors but us, the nation that it all began in, must now show the world just how fractious we really are. One group in particular seems to have forgotten to display the flag at ANY of its events but has no problem using it online to attract its members to let them know its a gay event. Double standard? Or just my being to knit picky?

    Lets face it folks. This is about politics and what it has done is shown just how petty and selfish we all became without realizing it. Ok, your free to have your own Pride festivals and such though out the entire summer but why condemn those of us who have been happy with the status quo regardless of racial identity? The vast majority of us I feel certain would rather it (the colors) remain as is because those colors do NOT represent just one group, regardless of how much twisting is being done to say that it does.

  • Dbrel

    Some of you seem to be missing the point– maybe you’re too young to understand. Pride and the flag were set up originally to be inclusive of everyone. No racial barriers, no economic or social barriers, nothing. We should in no way allow those barriers to be added to the flag simply because groups decide they want them to be. That’s not the purpose of the flag. It does not represent race in any way. Obviously whoever approved this change doesn’t realize that, either. At one point in the 70’s, a rainbow did refer to the huge mix of colors of race– people came in “all the colors of the rainbow” was an actual expression, but the flag had nothing to do with that. Have these people making changes to the flag even read the story behind it? Maybe they need their gay cards revoked until they do.

    The flag needs to be a sacred part of our community- untouchable. No one should have the right to change it. The original designer of the flag recently passed away- I think he’d be appalled that anyone would stray from the purpose of the flag in uniting the community instead of dividing.

  • mujerado

    What a ridiculous, superficial screed. L.A. Pride happened already, and tens of thousands of us marched last Sunday from Hollywood to West Hollywood to protest and resist the despotic government, without having to cancel the Pride Festival or compromise ourselves. The flag brouhaha will sort itself out. It’s basically irrelevant.

  • seaguy

    Thank you Lady Bunny for saying what others have wanted to say but were afraid of getting attacked for saying something. Why do we keep having to add groups like intersex to the mix when it just makes things more confusing and I am not sure that it is really in the best interest for groups like intersex to be part of a group for gay and lesbian, bisexual…..people because intersex is defined as: “Intersex” is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male. that is not about sexual orientation, but then neither is transgender so really I don’t understand why transgender was added. Not all trans people are gay, lesbian or bi so why were they added to a group that is based on sexual orientation?

    Being inclusive is great but there is a point where it’s defeating the original purpose of forming your group. I think that this rush to include every new gender related group to the LGB community has caused the community to fracture as it has confused some, brought added issues like the bathroom s bills fights,k when we already had enough on our plates. Seems like the Transgender and Intersex communities would be better off having their own group.

    • Bob LaBlah

      @seaguy.. “Being inclusive is great but there is a point where it’s defeating the original purpose of forming your group.”

      You hit the nail on the head with that sentence in your last paragraph.

  • kent25

    There’s a lot of fighting in this LGBTQ Bull crap, First of all, Now they want to call everybody Queer, Which is a bunch of BullS**t. Gay men and Lesbians aren’t queer. Queer are those people who are between gay and straight.
    Some have the never to want to change the Gay bar into the queer bar.
    Well not where I live they won’t . There will always be Gay bars. Pride has gone from gay pride to just pride ( in some cities Not all), lol We still call it gay pride. Some people fail to realize We are not all alike and not a part of each others everyday lives. I’m sure there are others from the LGBTQ at pride events but I don’t know any personally. All my friends are gay and lesbians. When my friends and I go on vacation to gay spots there aren’t any girl & boy couples there.
    They will never take whats know as Gay and make it Queer, Just because there “supposed” to be more queer women than any other group in the LGBTQ community doesn’t mean you’re gonna discount Gay men and Lesbians and make everything all about you, It ain’t never gonna happen

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