A man’s question on Reddit has gone viral and prompted hundreds of responses. He’s looking for somewhere to live but was not expecting a potential new landlord to grill him over his app use.
“So I just moved into a new town,” said @fondeic99 on the AskGayBros subreddit. “Found an apartment really close to where I work, looked nice, and was not expensive. I contacted the landlord and we arranged to meet so I can see the apartment in person.
“We engaged in some small talk and he was talking about how nice it is to be a grandfather and things like that and asked me if I have kids or a girlfriend to which I told him I’m gay so yeah no… I immediately notice his demeanor changed a bit and I was like ‘Oh boy here comes the homophobia.’
“He said that’s cool he is not opposed to it at all but he heard how gay apps are basically ‘doordash for sex’ and he doesn’t want people bringing someone every day into his apartment and making his place a sex den.
“I told him that I’m not like that, I’m an introverted guy and don’t really like to meet so many people this way. He said that he needs proof of it and demanded I show him what I have on my phone. I didn’t actually have Grindr installed so I showed him I didn’t have it. I was going through the apps and after he saw it’s not there he made me go to the app store to see if the Grindr page says ‘download’ or ‘open’…”
He continued, “I was pretty taken aback by all this but I really like the place and it is literally next to my workplace. I’m worried though that he might do other controlling things that are not legal while I’m staying there. Do you think I should rent the place? I’m staying at my aunt’s right now so I don’t really have much time on my hands to look for other places.”
And the verdict is…
After the post appeared on Tuesday, the responses blew up. Most people felt the same way: The original poster should find somewhere else to live.
“Trust your gut instinct. this is a red flag,” was the most well-liked reply, with over 2,000 upticks.
“This is a huge red flag and also is illegal,” suggested another. “This landlord is likely to be all kinds of invasive and intrusive.”
“Could not possibly have more red flags,” said a third. “How the f*ck does a straight (supposedly) old dude know about the apps. Nobody in my life who is his age has a clue. (Also) Insanely nosy and a strong indicator of how he conducts himself. Your privacy will absolutely not be respected.”
Others also wondered about the older man’s knowledge of Grindr.
“How is no one saying that the old man is probably on Grindr himself and doesn’t want to get busted?”
Queerty reached out to the man who posted the message to find out if the huge response helped him make up his mind.
“I wanted to post because the place was nice, affordable and was basically next to my workplace,” he responded. “The landlord wanting to check my phone to make sure I wasn’t using Grindr was pretty shocking but I thought maybe it was just an isolated incident.
“I just moved in with my aunt (Chicago, Illinois) and despite this incident I was pretty eager to rent it because I didn’t want to bother my aunt and it was so convenient.
“I knew what the landlord did was inappropriate and weird, but I was never prepared for the massive amount of replies.”
He said he was only expecting around four or five people to voice their opinion.
“When the post reached 500 comments telling me that is unacceptable and to avoid the place at all costs, I was 100% convinced I should look for another place.
“If I hadn’t posted it I would have most likely rented the place, so I thank my community for opening my eyes basically.”
Rambeaux
You owe this a**hole no explanation about anything, unless it has to do with the Lease.
The fool is a perv who will monitor the comings and goings of your life and secretly f*p to it.
Paulie P
Gramps knew little too much about the process. I bet he is on there under Older man for twinks, married and discreet.
Man About Town
Glad he ended up convinced to search elsewhere, but I give the landlord credit for coming up with the colorful phrase “doordash for sex!”
Kangol2
I’m glad he chose another place to rent. Also, depending upon the town, city or state, he might have a lawsuit on his hands, because a number of cities and towns do not allow discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, and the landlord appears to have engaged in this. After conferring with a lawyer he might consider sharing the name of the landlord at the very least so that others aren’t subjected to this.
edwardnvirginia
Dear Stupid Queer People:
People who own things – like houses, apartments, rental units – have many rights (under the US and state constitutions and laws). This include asking ALL SORTS of personal, private info, including
employment history
credit history (and to get your credit history they can ask for personal identifying numbers like Social Security Number, etc!)
income
driver’s license number
past evictions
past bankruptcies,
and much more info! including how frequently you expect to have short term or long term guests.
AND, they can construct in the rental agreement RESTRICTIONS or conditions that are lawful. including that you and any guest
WILL NOT DO anything unlawful (that includes all sorts of alcohol and drug use, illicit pornography, illicit sexual activity, etc)
or that you and any guest will not do anything that makes the property a site of contagion for future renters or your guests (e.g. you might like to piss and shit and cum all over the carpet or on the walls, on the bathroom floor, etc … but the landlord can say ‘no no’ honey boo boo!).
Also, landlords can require that no lllegal activity take place in their property. And that includes lots of things many queer people enjoy: illicit pornography, illicit drugs, illicit uses of the Internet, etc.
Furthermore, landlords can require conditions that take into account other tenants: e.g. NO cars or people coming and going late at night, NO annoying noise, NO rude guests, etc.
So, DEAR stupid queer people: grow up! If you own the rental unit and don’t care, then have at it: But many landlords do care about the current AND FUTURE tenants and neighbors. If you save your pennies and own property to rent … figure it out.
Invader7
Dear edwardnvirginia: WTF ? Who are you? A troll , do doubt. Any potential landlord asking such ILLEGAL questions needs to be reported to the Fair Housing division of the FHA ! And stat. I’d walk out of the apartment so fast and drop a dime on that nosy bastard !!!
kappa
Forgetting the snide, sour, vitriolic and plain silly abuse, you are quite simply wide of tenancy law.
Bromancer7
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA Imagine trying to tell a straight man he can’t use dating apps and can’t have women come over for sex in his home that he pays for.
Sit down you f*cking twunt.
Dr Sarah
@edwardnvirginia:
Since your long list of things landlords can do did *not* include ‘go through tenant’s phone’, ‘set limits on how often tenants have visitors’, or ‘set limits on who tenant has sex with and how often’, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that landlords are not actually allowed to do those things.
lord.krath
If you have to ask this question, you already know the answer.
Life hack: this applies to any what-if or question that gives any amount of pause you might ask.
Hayden
I thought omg what? Then I read “A man on Reddit”. Yep I’ll take things that probably didn’t happen for 1000 Alex
Mister P
Hey Ed Va. go lecture somewhere else. No one likes you or cares about your opinion.
edwardnvirginia
The law in a jurisdiction is not ‘an opinion’ honey poo poo! Unless, of course, YOU are LIKE TRUMP who regards the law as ‘fake news’ and not something he has to live under. Lotta lotta queer folks are ACTUALLY VERY MUCH LIKE TRUMP – ignoring the law, living as if they don’t need to follow the law, abusing and bullying – just like you abused and bullied me. SO. since you are such a TRUMP-ALIKE why not Tiktok how much you’d like to go down on him, and his sons at the same time? (incest porn is hot, right?)
Invader7
Report the freak. VERY ILLEGAL questions !!!
edwardnvirginia
Wrong silly rabbit … the law – depending on the jurisdiction – allows many sorts of personal, private info questions, and allows many sorts of conditions and restrictions in a rental agreement!
CindyKennedy
We should all write Apple some feedback, letter & app review also there’s no current way to delete the app history, it’s literally a problem also that there are traces of such apps that can’t be deleted, Apple should do better NOW
winemaker
Talk about super yenta * that’s an yiddish term for a nosey old woman) Speaking legally, Is this a private apartment with a door to the outside or a rental of a bedroom in the house in which you have to live by rules of the principle aka the landlord?. if this an apartment with a separate entrance to the outside your personal business is none of his business provided you’re not doing anything illegal. That said i’d never have told him i’m gay, none of his G damned business! When asked personal questions this guy needed to be neutral without being rude. These questions had nothing to do with renting the place, ability to pay, employment, previous landlord referrals etc, ll the things usually asjked when somebody rents an apartment or any rental property. On the other hand, time to sue for housing discrimination and chances are this guy’s got a valid lawsuit. There’s more but this’ll do for now. Bottom line there’re too many rude and nosey people in this world! Newsflash, you don’t owe strangers or others a true answer in response to rude invasive and personal questions.
edwardnvirginia
Wrong silly rabbit … the law – depending on the jurisdiction – allows many sorts of personal, private info questions, and allows many sorts of conditions and restrictions in a rental agreement!
Matthewnow
Charge the landlord by the hour.
cuteguy
I think the answer was pretty obvious. It’s called common sense
GayEGO
They should be talking about relationships, not just sex!