Larry Craig’s Adventures Down Under

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We hope you haven’t eaten your breakfast, readers, because this is revolting, even for us. Mike Jones, the whore who took down Evangelical leader Ted Haggard, once claimed to have had relations with toilet trolling Senator Larry Craig.

Though many months have passed since that story hit the big time, Michelangelo Signorile’s reliving the nightmarish details with this:

…Did you know that, according to former male escort and Ted Haggard exposer Mike Jones, Senator Larry Craig, co-sponsor of the all-new Marriage Protection Act, put his tongue up Jones’ butt hole and gave him a Senate-class rim job?

Yes, that’s what Mike Jones told me several months back when he came on the show, and he hadn’t said it in any other media outlet as far as I know — or rather, he tried, but they just didn’t want to report it….Cocksucking was enough; they drew the line at analingus.

I realized at the time that this was a wet and juicy scoop of sorts, but I sat on it, for reasons I don’t really know.

Great. Now we’re officially sterile.

Meanwhile, an Idaho-based button manufacturer accidentally printed a picture of Craig alongside Barack Obama. The campaign materials were meant for Democrat Larry LaRocco, who’s running for Senate. Craig, of course, isn’t running due to his sex sting arrest last year…

PS: Signorile has audio of Jones’ butt eating allegations. Give it a listen, if you dare.

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6 Comments

  • Darth Paul

    That’s morbidly hilarious.

  • Amber LeMay

    I’m sorry – I’m confused… who sat on what?

  • Jaroslaw

    I think Larry Craig is a giant piece of scum, but how do we know Mike Jones is telling the truth?

  • mark

    The Minneapolis cop thought Larry had farted in his adjoining stall, it was just his BREATH.

  • mark

    Caption for Craig photo

    “SH*T EATIN’ GRIN”

  • key

    May all your stances be merry and wide.

Comments are closed.