FIRE IN THE DISCO

Last Minute Gift For The Gay In Your Life: Tom Of Finland Fire Safety Blankets

Screen Shot 2015-12-23 at 7.26.52 PM

Jalo Finland specializes in fire safety products for the design-oriented, because who doesn’t want to look good escaping an inferno?

Screen Shot 2015-12-23 at 7.28.52 PM

Their slogan is “safety can be beautiful.”

They definitely don’t offer same-day shipping (hurry up, drones), but they’re perfect if you’re the print-it-out coupon-giving type.

Enjoy these descriptions either way:

TOF_20348234_leader

The Leader”: “Rugged, masculine and ripped. The Master has a ‘take charge’ attitude, always ready to be in control in case of fire. Not sure how to use a fire blanket? Craving further instructions? Just turn it around and look at the rear. Never keep your fire blanket in the closet. This couple demands to be out.”

TOF_09342423_hero

The Hero”: “If you’re holding out for a hero to pull you from the rough surf and give you mouth-to-mouth, then this is the duo for you! The Hero is strong and dependable. He’ll sweep you up in his muscled arms – and put out any small fires. Keep this lifeguard’s best assets on display at all times, and be ready to grab hold in case of emergencies.”

TOF_203948242_aviator

The Aviator”: “Primed for action in their uniforms, these airmen wearing a leather aviator jacket and a flight suit unzipped to a perilously low altitude, are clearly qualified to put out small household fires. Just give the straps a good tug to release the fire blanket inside. Like a parachute, this product could save your life.”

TOF_209348324_dog

The Dog”: “Down boy! This K9 owner is classically geared up, dressed head to toe in leather, with his pup between his legs, he’s ready to put out any small kitchen fires, even if it means getting down on all-fours. You certainly won’t be in the dog house if you always keep this fire blanket ready.”