Earlier this fall, Heartstopper‘s Kit Connor made headlines when he came out as bisexual.
But this was no triumphant moment of a young star stepping into their power—instead, Connor was defeated. In the 18-year old’s own words, he was forced out of the closet by “fans” who had lobbed queerbaiting allegations at him for playing a queer character while not openly identifying as such himself.
“I think some of you missed the point of the show,” he wrote before (presumably) quitting Twitter for good.
Sadly, Connor is far from the only star this has happened to, joining a long line of celebrities dragged out of the closet by the public, all but stripping them of their agency.
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Related: Evicted from the closet: 8 times queer celebrities were outed by their own allies
One such star is the internet’s boyfriend, Lee Pace, who recently shared his support for Connor, and had some choice words for the media and so-called fans who demand public figures come out.
In a conversation with Vulture, Pace expressed his adoration for Heartstopper, and decried the “Tower Of Babel” situation around the young star’s sexuality:
“I look at [Connor] and he’s so great in the show,” said Pace, “And all I think is, ‘I want to see what else you do. I want to see all of the people you inhabit in your career.'”
“I actually don’t care about anything else. I don’t want to know it; it’s none of my business anyway. I’d rather take your word for it than some kind of hot take on it, you know? He’ll choose to reveal himself in the work he does, in the way he interprets characters, in the way he chooses the characters he wants to play.”
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Of course, Pace can relate to what Connor’s gone through on some level. While he came out on a public level in a 2018 New York Times profile, that piece followed a W Magazine feature a few months earlier, in which the actor was taken aback by an “intrusive” question about his sexuality. And that was only after a few years of rumors, spurred on by an unwitting outing by his The Hobbit co-star Ian McKellen.
When Vulture asked him about his coming out—which was during his run in Angels In America—Pace responded that he never thought he was “in” to begin with.
Related: Lee Pace on toxic masculinity and playing a trans woman in his first film role
“I never felt like that was a choice I made,” he continued. “But the media has a way of talking about things. I feel strongly, and did then as I do now, that I reserve my right to contain multitudes, and I would wish the same for all other actors. I reserve my right to explore all the different facets of humanity through my work and in my life.”
In that four-year old W Magazine piece (the one where he was directly asked about his sexuality) Pace did say that he felt it was important for gay actors to play gay roles. But, since then, he’s come to realize—just as many of us have—that things aren’t so black-and-white, and that we can’t always hold everyone and everything to such rigid labels.
By the way, did anyone else squeal with glee when they learned Lee Pace was a fan of Heartstopper?
Related: Lee Pace lures us into a cave with his latest thirst trap, and we’re gobbling up the bait
Donston
I get what Pace is saying. But like a lot of these entertainers, he’s been very phony himself. No, I don’t think any actor has to speak on their sexualities, identities, preferences, dimensions, lifestyles, love life. But Lee very much tried to keep several long-term gay relationships very low-key and was never even publicly “queer adjacent” before being “forced out”.
I don’t know if he’s dealt with a lot of debilitating fluidity, contradictions, questioning, internalized phobias, mental health struggles, trying to comprehend his place in the gender, sexual, romantic, affection, emotion, commitment spectrum. But don’t claim to be “proudly out” when that’s simply not the case. He was never publicly “out” until forced, and he still exudes gay shame and queer insecurities despite being in a gay marriage. So, let’s not pretend those things aren’t reality.
LumpyPillows
We need to protect our boys and men from this type of judgmental ridicule and shame. While I respect your thoughtful approach, I must disagree with your conclusion.
bachy
The whole tabloid labeling equation is spectacularly reductive and it reeks. Lots of people hope to protect their spouses, relationships, children and private life from the glaring eye of media, and strive to keep the focus on their art/contribution to culture.
Many aspects of private life are vulnerable and people in the spotlight are frequently not prepared to defend their life choices/issues against the tsunami of ululating nutjobs who consume tabloid media. You might be fine with attention about your tv show, but not with attention about your sex life, your children, your medical problems, your ailing parent, your religion, your finances, to say nothing of your address, your telephone number, etc.
LumpyPillows
I agree.
humble charlie
pace just killed his career. jeez, at least wait until he becomes rich and then do your hypocritical damage.
Donston
He’s definitely overly self-identifying with this situation. Before that famous interview, the media was not giving Pace any closet pressures. They continuously ignored his multiple long-term gay relationships. If anything, the media protected him. One rude interviewer doesn’t change that he was being protected. So, there’s no need to be mad at the media. He also still seems stuck on justifying being publicly closeted for 20 years in the industry. And it’s not necessary. He also still seems obsessed with maintaining hetero appeal and making sure people don’t think he’s a “basic homo” while not really wanting to detach from “gay”.
It’s not giving what it’s supposed to be giving. He’s in his 40s, has been publicly “out” for several years and is married. You’d think his comments by this point would come off less messy and insecure.
humble charlie
heck i thought johnny depp was gay. until he married a lesbian. who knew.
Donston
I recognize that you’re trolling, but I’ll indulge.
Depp is one of the only popular, conventionally good-looking actors who never faced any real queer rumors. He’s also always been in high-profile hetero relationships since the 80s. And Amber was never publicly lesbian-identifying. While we should know that marriage is not an automatic determinant on someone’s sexuality, sexual journey, preferences, love, where they are in the gender, sexual, affection, romantic attachment, emotional investment, commitment spectrum, as marriage can happen for a multitude of reasons.
LumpyPillows
I find it difficult to rationalize the zeal to force people into boxes while denying there are actual boxes. The left has gone nuts and their campaigns of phony virtue are dangerous to our youth. Let them be in their own way and time. It isn’t about you…it never was.
mujerado
Congratulations! You’re the only one who saw fit to make this about “the left.” This kind of reductionism does everyone harm, subjecting entirely personal matters to a political interpretation. It’s nobody’s business now or ever, whether celebrities disclose their private lives to the world or not. Making it so is an act of aggression. It’s wrong.
LumpyPillows
Sad how you really don’t understand my comment. The people complaining about Lee and Kit are from the left. The right could care less if Kit is gay or straight and playing a gay role. Try harder.
thisisnotreal
@lumpy…”The right could care less if Kit is gay or straight and playing a gay role.” correct me if im wrong my friend, but which side is always actively campaigning to remove our basic human rights as human beings? or take away legal recognition of our marriages? is it the left? or the right? im going to assume you are on the right based on your comment and hey you do you buddy, live and let live. i will admit that the left oftentimes DOES get overzealous in their desire to hyper categorize everything, and then they swing in the opposite direction and hyper focus on not labelling anything and everyone. and that constant ship swaying gives me motion sickness ill admit, but lets not pretend that the right doesnt care who is gay/bi and who isnt ok? MANY people on the right would love nothing more than for every person who is lgbt to have to wear some identifying mark so that they could more easily target us specifically and take away all social progress we have accomplished in our community. if you think the right doesnt care who is lgbt identifying then may i suggest you brush up on that? attacking our community and our members and outing us so we can more easily be targeted has LONG been one of the core objectives of the right, and i dont see that changing anytime soon. sure some of them “may not care” but they are in the minority of their party i assure you.
Jim
Closets are for clothes
tjack47
I loathe the word queerbaiting. If an actor, singer or dancer entertains, plays any letter of our alphabet and you enjoy it, what difference does it make? Are Dolly Parton and Liza Minelli queerbaiting? It truly is that ridiculously stupid to me.
Joshooeerr
There are examples of famous people being “forced” out of the closet – for example, by newspapers (Murdoch usually) informing them they were going to print their story unless they owned it first. Boyzone’s Stephen Gately was subjected to that. Kit Connor was not “forced” to come out. He may have been the subject of much social media speculation, which amounted to a great deal of pressure. But that is not the same thing. Countless other “celebrities” have had the same speculation and pressure – some for decades – and have simply ignored it, or even played up to it.
nik k
Sorry to feel like I have to correct you in your characterization, but I believe that Kit DID have the right to say that he was forced to self identify. It was through intimidation, harassment, and threats of violence aimed at either himself or his acquaintances. When someone is getting death threats, that qualifies as force to me. If you have been living under a rock, perhaps don’t say that he was not “forced.” Because it makes you look foolish. Just days prior to this public statement, someone close to him was commenting on threats they received from his “fans.” That is just crazy. Leave the man live his life without your judgment, harassment, speculations, assumptions, or threats.
monty clift
The Connor guy is an attention whore.