MAKE IT WERK

Lesbian Sex Tapes, Siriano Clones and Other Dirt From The New Season Of Project Runway

We’re not sure if it was the move to Lifetime or just the inevitable gild falling off the lily, but our once-rabid devotion to Project Runway has waned to the point where we barely realized Season Nine (?!) starts tonight.

Sigh—we can remember a time when we dissected each episode with surgical precision, assigned heroes and villains, and affirmed the unflappable refinement of Tim Gunn over coffee the next morning. Now we can’t even remember who won last season. (Um, was it the gay guy or the quiet girl?)

Anywho, back to the Season Nine premiere. Thankfully all the regulars have returned—Nina, Tim, Tangerine Koors, and Miss Heidi, who—surprise—is not pregnant, along with guest bobblehead Christina Ricci. Gone, however, is Models of the Runway—that pointless spin-off where the mannequins, who basically have no control over whether they stay or go, act like they have a say in whether they stay or go. Awwww!

Weirdly, this season sees 20 designers appearing in the first episode but only 16 actually make it into the competition—so we have watch them do the designer equivalent of lip-synching for their lives and explain why they should be on the show. It’s kind of a reverse of the Fashion Week stunts they’ve pulled before, where five designers get to go to the tents but only four get to compete—we call shenanigans!

But the first episode is really about sizing up the competition and figuring out who we love, who we hate and who we just want to feed miniature Dove bars to in a palatial suite at the Plaza. (It is for us, anyway.) So we pored over the designer profiles and video clips on the Lifetime site to see what kind of characters we’re dealing with this go-around. (There’s 20, so we just did a sampling).

Click to the next page and let’s begin the character assassination analysis!

 

Project Runway debuts tonight at 9pm on Lifetime.