Leslie Jordan hated himself for being gay…until this happened

“If you’re born homosexual, it’s not a choice…I’m a happy person but when you grow up with a secret and there’s a lot of inner turmoil. I wouldn’t change anything for having gone through that because it’s made me the person I am today. My first five years in AA people would tell me, ‘You know when the miracles really start? About year five,’ and I thought, ‘What?! I’m barely getting through the day and you’re telling me I’ve got to wait five years!’ But it was such an amazing time. I was no spring chicken. I got sober in ’97. To begin a journey like that and my journey into my sobriety was also a journey into my queerdom because there was so much internal homophobia, so much self-hatred. You think why, so I dealt with that. Go to work honey! If it involves going to a hospice and sitting with someone and holding their hand as they’re taking their last breath on Earth but you’ve got to do the work, you just can’t sit there. Happiness is a choice and it’s something you’ve got to work for. I don’t even like the word happy I like the word content.”—Actor and Instagram star Leslie Jordan, discussing his struggle with his sexuality, and how sobriety finally led to self-acceptance. Jordan penned an essay on the subject as part of his new collection of essays How Y’all Doing? In the same essay, he reveals that he also wanted to be the gay equivalent of Hugh Hefner with “seven blond boys all giggling around the pool.” He added that he’s lucky that didn’t happen, as it would have hurt his work ethic.