Toxic masculinity and femmephobia still fester amongst us gays, but one Reddit user posted a beacon of light in the darkness. Last month, user SMTNAVARRE shared a post to the r/gay subreddit simply titled “Gay Voice Appreciation Post.” He wrote:
I’m a bi guy, and one of the most attractive traits in a man is a strong gay voice. I just think it is really cute and sensitive-sounding, and it really draws my attention when a man speaks that way. I myself do not have a gay voice, but I tend to talk in falsetto so that kind of has the same effect for my male partners. I know many queer men are sensitive about their voices, so I want to inject some positivity into the discourse.
Related: Redditors sound off on ‘gay voice’ and whether they code-switch
As you might expect, there were some haters who responded with “I like men who sound like men” negativity, but many of the commenters on the post affirmed SMTNAVARRE’s opinion.
“Same here,” one person wrote. “I’ve only ever dated guys with a gay voice, haha. My weirdest experience was going on a date with a guy who sounded gay but said he hated ‘f*gs with that gay voice.’ I don’t know if it was self-hatred, denial, or both.”
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“Yes. Yes. And I hate when people say they don’t like it. ‘Oh, I am OK with gay people if they don’t sound too gay,’” another commenter chimed in. “Well, you know what? Mind your own f*cking business. If you judge someone on their voice, you are an a**hole. Yeah, gay voices are sexy.”
Another Reddit user observed that “our gay voice is our mating call,” while someone else wrote, “Boys with good voices are like ASMR shit to my brain.”
Related: Ross Mathews has perfect response to critic of his “fake”, “gay voice”
A different commenter wrote: “My boyfriend jokes that he never tells people he’s gay but he doesn’t think anyone thinks he’s straight once they hear his voice. It is very soft and gentle, and it absolutely gives me shivers of pleasure to hear him. I have a deep rumble which he loves, but for me, his voice is PURE SEX.”
And one person, meanwhile, said gay voice is not his “cup of tea,” but he still affirmed the appreciation. “I love seeing [gay voice] celebrated,” that person added. “I’ll celebrate anything that gut-punches traditional masculine norms.”
Lookyloo
“I myself do not have a gay voice, but I tend to talk in falsetto…”
What? Huh? You mean like Michael Jackson?
I really don’t think I understand what this guy is meaning. Unless he literally means he goes around, generally, literally talking in falsetto.
What’s the purpose of that? So people think you sound like a child? Like a small woman? Like an off stage soprano opera singer?
Oh well, you do you my man.
bachy
The 2014 documentary film Do I Sound Gay? shares a lot of illuminating ideas about the positives – and negatives – of gay voice. One negative which I found interesting is also a negative for women: ending sentences on a higher vocal tone, as if asking a question. This “questioning” effect is also a factor in the Valley Girl accent, and transmits a lack of confidence and decisiveness.