Today, the television network NBC will begin its $200 million-losing broadcast of the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver. Weâre going to see world-class athletes compete in the luge, alpine skiing, bobsled, ski jumping, and hockey. So why donât we care all that much?
Partly because the Winter Games are never as enticing as the Summer Games (the drama of gymnastics! the bouncing bulges of track!). And partly because, in most of these sports, we canât even see the faces of the athletes. Really, think about it: Skiing has those big goggles; theyâre wearing helmets on the the luge and bobsled and hockey; and curling, while they may not be wearing anything over their faces, is just freakinâ boring. Much of our interest in what these folks are doing on-screen, and having been training to do for the past four years, ebbs and flows with the sweat dripping down their faces, the solemn looks in their eyes, and the expressions of despair when they fuck up majorly.
Which basically leaves figure skating as the only Winter Games sport that can include all of the things we need for our ADD to go offline for a few hours: Fierce competition, camera zooms on quivering lips, and triple salchows into triple loops. And thatâs where Johnny Weir comes in.
From his pre-Games fur-wearing controversy to his foul-mouthed interviews to his revealing docu-series, Weir is the only athlete â gay or straight â whoâs been able to build up anticipation for the masses. Unless youâre a self-professed fan of any of these sports, can you name five people competing this year?
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Weir is to the Winter Games what Michael Phelps was to the Summer Games: Seen and heard everywhere for weeks leading up to the Games. Phelps, of course, was NBCâs mascot, and the network had Matt Lauer profiling him after every commercial break; Weir ramped us his public image more organically. Which is what youâd expect from a Lady Gaga-loving skater.
And so it is Weir for whom we will tune in, particularly because heâs facing off against that Evan Lysacek, who stole Vera Wang for himself after she offered to dress Weir. ÂĄQue horrible!
Moreover, this is going to be a battle of the sexes sexual orientations. In the red corner: Weir, a flaming homosexual whom you either love or hate. In the blue corner: Lysacek, a rabid heterosexual who is pretty but as butch as this sport can tolerate. (Oh, and then thereâs their international competition.) Itâs these two, and their battle against each other for gold, and the pride of America, that will have us tuning in.
So could someone do us a favor and find out when theyâre skating, so we can set our DVR? OKTHXBI.
Sexy Rexy
Wang never designed anything for Weir.
Lysacek is woefully homely and looks like a horse.
hudson
pleeeeze! what about all of the readers with varying degrees of hockey fetishes? Ever seen a picture of Sidney Crosby (Yay Canada!!)? What about the snowboarders? Pull up the goggles and many are hot as hell. Form fitting ski outfits anyone? Speedskaters with thighs and ass fer days……There’s so much more out there to watch than the figure skaters.
Just saw Arnie Schwartznegger (SP?) run the torch for a stretch here this morning. kinda fun being the host city. I’ve heard the opening ceremonies this evening will be terrific. Tune in
cheers,
D
Republican
Sorry guys, but I’m hoping that Lysacek does better in Vancouver. Between the two, he’s clearly been the better skater the past few years. And while I admire Weir for being very open and honest about his flamboyant nature (though he doesn’t discuss his orientation, which I find odd), the sad truth is that he’s also a total a-hole.
romeo
Love the “Cruella deVille” outfit. He’s the one who wore the off-the-shoulder maribou wasn’t he? Loved that.
scott ny'er
@hudson: Agreed. Some of those snowboarders are cute. As are athletes from down-hill skiing, the moguls, aerials, etc. And yeah, those speedskaters have HUGE thighs and asses.
Ben
@Sexy Rexy: If Evan Lysacek is a horse, he’s certainly a much better-looking horse than you (or Weir) could ever hope to be. Weir just looks like Clay Aiken. Yikes.
And as much as I love teh gayz, I don’t find myself particularly compelled to root for a fur-wearing asshole in a sport I don’t particularly like anyway.
http://thatsgayman.today.com/files/2009/05/evanlysacek9sh.jpg
DR
Skating is hardly the only sport worth following in the Olympic games this winter. As a matter of fact, I plan on avoiding the skating, haven’t watched in about a decade. I’m don’t like Weir and his attitude, and the comparison of Weir to Phelps isn’t even close. We followed Phelps because he had the potential to make history. Weir is being followed for the drama he creates to keep his name out there.
Maybe I’ll catch the hockey games, maybe some bobsledding or skiing and snowboarding, and even speed skating. Figure skating will be the one sport I avoid.
Marc
You’re knocking my Olympics in my hometown?
See ya Queerty!
Marc
You’re knocking the Olympics in my hometown?
See ya Queerty!
BobaLou
Evan Lysacek a rabid heterosexual??? Bwwaahahahahah. He’s gayer than Paul Lynde on Fire Island.
timncguy
Queerty, please, please, please get an editor or a writer who understands the english language in written form.
from your article:
“So could someone do us a favor and find out when THEIR skating, so we can set our DVR”
Not THEIR…. It’s they’re…. the correct contraction of “they are” as in find out when “they are” skating.
Yes, I understand spell check wouldn’t catch this for you. But, a human being with a functioning brain should catch it.
romeo
@TimNCguy #11: Queerty has set the date for when they will institute an editorial policy that conforms to your request. Please mark it on your calendar – “When hell freezes over.”
pogobock
This is all Obama’s fault.
Sexy Rexy
@Ben: There’s no mad rush to put your ass on the cover of GQ either, hon. Get OVER yourself. I think Lysacek’s ugly.
Sexy Rexy
@Ben: I also don’t care for Johnny Weir either, so don’t go accusing me of liking him.
tjr101
Comparing Michael Phelps to Jonny Weir is beyond ridiculous. Phelps is an exceptional athlete, humble and cute…Weir is the complete opposite.
John
God love a drama queen! Unfortunately, the only way Weir is going to win a medal, is if he hires Tanya Harding to take a baseball bat to Evgeni Plushenko. Weir’s going to have to really step it up just to hope for bronze.
Gold – Plushenko
Silver – Lysacek
Bronze – Takahashi
4th – Joubert
5th – Weir
There’s five lol and we can’t forget cutie-pie Jeffrey Buttle – he’ll be a force to reckon with in 2014.
Ben
@Sexy Rexy: Luckily I don’t live in the world that many Queery readers seem to, in which looks and size are the only things that matter. The sort of people I hang around don’t go making unprompted declarations of perfectly decent-looking people being “homely” or looking like a “horse.”
I think you’re the one who probably needs to get over himself.
scott ny'er
@John: You’re forgetting Patrick Chan, Jeremy Abbott, Lambiel, and some other Japanese skaters. All are possible contenders.
Buttle is retired I thought.
bobito
@scott ny’er: Correct me if I’m wrong, because I didn’t see it, but didn’t Jeremy Abbott mop up the ice with Evan Lysacek and Johnny Weir at the national finals last month? He won by a huge margin.
But John is right about Plushenko – he will win it, if he doesn’t freak out and self-destruct on the ice. Then he’ll only take silver.
SouLKid
ok, Weir might be a douche sometimes but questioning his athleticism is ridiculous. Bcoz he really is a gifted athlete. Now i wish sometimes he’d lose the glitter and all the fur but ima be rooting for him regardless. Isn’t Evan supposedly dating some female athlete? Dont know who, or where i heard that but i’m sure i read somewhere.
jimmy
Whatever, I’m looking forward to Anton Apolo Ohno’s fine self.
scott ny'er
@bobito: God. I know waaaaaaay too much about this. Stereotype meet Scott ny’er. LOL.
Yes, Jeremy Abbott won Nationals (for the 2nd time). And he did it WITH a Quad and pretty perfectly and a big lead. The only thing holding him back is he doesn’t have a huge Int’l rep yet, I think.
I still can’t get behind Evegny. I will say, he does bring drama and excitement to the ice. But I don’t dig his skating. I would love to root for Weir but he needs a quad and he’s a little to out there and boring like MANY of the other skaters. Male and female.
DR
@SoulKid:
What, just because Johnny Weir is being oh-so-trendily coy about his gayness that means I’m supposed to trip over myself to idolize him? So what if Evan is straight and dating a woman? Why do I care about that? I want the best athlete to win, and will support who I think is the best athlete, gay or straight.
Alex Sarmiento
Michael Phelps is an entitled douchebag of the highest caliber, irrespective of how well he does in the pool. Every time I see him, I want to beat the shit out of him. Plus, he banged Carrie Prejean.
If an American should win the gold in Vancouver, I would prefer Johnny Weir (for all his flair and drama) and Jeremy Abbott. Evan is overrated as fuck, and Yevgeniy Plyushchenko has no substance to his 4 minutes and 30 seconds of jumps and spins. There have been other Russian skaters without his arsenal of jumps that are better all-around skaters. As that guy said in the original version of Fame: “That’s not music. That’s masturbation.”
Sexy Rexy
@Ben: Sorry, Charlie, but I think it’s you.
Rowen
I think this might be a case of Queerty not having too much contact with the outside world. Both Shaun White and Lindsey Vonn have a pretty large following of dedicated fans.
P
lol @ Evan and heterosexual in the same sentence. Come on now. And poor Nastia Liukin. Someone needs to talk to that girl.
Evan will never ever be the artist that Johnny is. Evan lacks grace and substance. Waving your arms around does not make your skating beautiful. It makes you look like a bird flapping its wings.
I’m rooting for my boy Jeremy Abbott though. Equal parts artistry and athleticism. And Johnny since it’s his last chance for a medal and I feel like he does deserve it, at long as it stays focus and confident.
Gorbeh
Hey! Curling is fun!
SouLKid
@DR…i don’t know what u read in my post but i never said u should idolize Weir. I specifically, said ‘questioning his athleticism’ is ridiculous bcoz whether one likes the person that he is or not, his athletic abilities is unquestionable. No one achieves what he has achieved with mediocre athletic talent.
As for Evan, the reason why i brought up his heterosexuality was bcoz someone insinuated he’s gay.
Edfu
Men’s short program is on Tuesday, Feb. 16, and their long program is on Thursday, Feb. 18.
MissLaWanda
This is all so racist.
Bayonet
Damm that Weir is an ugly flamboyant queen. Where the hell are the masculine gay men in sports? Not this tranny!
romeo
@ LaWanda: Racist? Damn girl, do I have to keep you from hyperventilating every fucking day on this site?!
Tartuffe
Winter>Summer
@33: I’m not going to sink to your level and start name calling, so I’m just going to suggest that you take your ridiculous obsession with masculinity and look to other sports where sequins and tight pants aren’t practically required to compete. As for Weir being “an ugly flamboyant queen”, he probably has more physical power and strength than you could even imagine.
Xtian2010
@BobaLou:
Hah! I totally agree about Lysacek! The media’s need to hype up any ‘straight’ guys (whether real or just pandering to an image of masculinity themselves) is pathetic, whether in the world of sports, fine arts, fashion, etc. Can’t these areas just be dominated by gay men and still be legit?
And, although I think Weir comes off as pompous & a diva, I do appreciate that he is himself, and although I disagree about his choices in wearing fur & not commenting on his sexual orientation (he seems to not give a damn that by being out, he would be a role model…which is a good thing), he is clearly talented. And, he’s hot! I watch ‘Be Good Johnny’ not for his depth of character (I think he acts like a 13 year-old), but for the shots of his hot ass. Oh- I guess I’m shallow too…oh, well.
Bayonet
@Tartuffe: Figures, Tartuffe, your name suits you well loser.
teleute83
You are all still talking about figure skating…. jesus christ. You wonder why sport is so homophobic.
Rikard
@jimmy: Finally someone had a salient comment. The comparison to Phelps in these winter games is Ono. He is poised to become the most medaled US competitor in a winter games. Neither of the figure skaters has been dominant in their sport. I suspect the only place Weir is dominant is in the fitting room.
Tartuffe
@Bayonet:
Clearly, you don’t know the character!
KirilleXXI
Go, Plushenko, Go!
Forgive me, folks, for I’m from Russia (Sochi-2014!).
I’m probably biased, but I don’t care. đ
I still remember his Sex Bomb skating!
How could I not know then that I was gay?
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! :)))
Sexy Rexy
Please – no Plushenko either. UGH!!
Go Jeremy Abbott!
terrwill
While I am not a fan of Weir because he refuses to state what is as obvuios as the sky is blue, that he is a Gay. I wish he would do well only to give a big fcuk you to the US Figure Skating Association whom refused to have him on their website at one point because they “didn’t want to it appear the sport was dominated by Homosexuals”……………..