stage fright

Levi Johnston Is Worried About His Size. We’re Concerned About His Jungle Nest


It gives us the sads to hear Levi Johnston is worried that he may not stack up well enough for his Playgirl shoot.

Listen, us men all get stage fright. The first time we strip down with another dude, we wonder whether he’ll compare us to the guys in the porn we happen to be watching. Or if he’ll recognize us from it. Of course, we’ve never posed naked for a national pornographic (web) publication, but nobody has asked us, either.

Despite the rumors about Levi’s shortcomings scare, Johnston’s manager Tank Jones says, “We haven’t had any discussions of that nature at all.” Which only means Levi and Tank don’t talk about the length and girth of his cock very much — something, we’ve been told, isn’t all that abnormal among heterosexuals.

But no matter whether it’s long and skinny, short and fat, cut or uncut, or somewhere in between, all that we care about, Levi, is that you’re well manicured. Don’t give us hairy balls, okay?