Lex Liang is a costume and set designer based in New York. He recently appeared on Netflix‘s new series Dating Around, a reality show that follows a group of singles around on five separate dates.
In a new interview with TIME, Liang says he never thought, as a gay Asian-American man, he would be cast as the lead on a dating show.
“I thought, you know what? This might be an opportunity to actually find a match,” he says. “I don’t think the gravity of what we’re talking about in terms of representation ever really landed. The whole experience was just sort of an experiment that I thought would be fun to do.”
Fun, sure. But also a lot more work than he expected.
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Liang describes the shooting schedule as grueling:
We shot over a week. They wanted me to take the week off, but there was no way I was going to do that—my company was doing a major store renovation in Soho, and I had to meet contractors every day at 8 a.m. So we would shoot for eight to 10 hours, from 7 p.m. to 5 a.m. I would meet somebody for like an hour and we would do drinks and then they would reset. We would go away and take a break or the bartender would bring me another cocktail. I would get home around six. I watched the sun come up every day that week. I would take a nap and then go back to work.
A topic that came up during one of his dates was his race and the fact that he is a “Gaysian.”
“We all know that extreme racism is so rampant in the gay community,” Liang tells TIME. “I can’t tell you how many times on Grindr it’s like, ‘no Asians, no fats, no femmes.’ That is, at its core, racist. But on the flip side, we are a product of how we’re brought up.”
“A lot of that is marketing and a lot of it is just this ingrained racism. So fundamentally, the entire country is underexposed. And so we decide to fetishize the other and appropriate things. And it continues this cycle.”
Related: This model says he was dropped by his agency for being too gay and too Asian
And while Liang says he’s seen strides made by African Americans who are speaking out and getting representation, that isn’t happening as much in the Asian American community.
“Asian people, we like to be the silent culture ninjas,” he says. “We’ll assimilate. We’ll work really hard. I used to be in that boat—no pun intended—and think, “let’s just co-exist. Let’s not cause a ruckus or draw any attention.”
He continues: “But then you say, hold on one second: that’s part of the problem. And the only way this is going to change is if you have an Asian leading man in a major Hollywood release, with Julia Roberts falling in love with him. That’s the only way that Pennsylvania to Nevada, and Montana to Texas, is going to be like, “Oh. So they’re not just the nerdy best friend? They’re not just the accountant?”
Watch the trailer for Dating Around below.
iamru2
Lol extreme racism is definitely not rampant in the gay community what a ridiculous statement to make. Guys are turning you down because they are not attracted to you! Truth hurts!
Darsithis
You’re wrong. Racism is quite rampant in the gay community, unfortunately. It’s not a preference to not like a group of people because of their skin color or where they come from, it’s discriminatory.
Juanjo
Hilarious comment, iamadouchebag. Total BS but hilarious in the complete obliviousness of your BS.
surreal33
Mr iamru2, following you logic HIV is not rampant in the gay community either?
Racism is the foundation of America, therefore it most definitely is rampant in the gay community, lesbian community, heterosexual community. Your inane, subterfuge is not going change facts.
GetOffMyInternet
And yeah there’s plenty of racism in the gay community. I take it you haven’t been even in this comment section much?
startenout
You’re such a vapid white privileged Queen.
AlexGA
Truth hurts that you are a total douchebag. White certainly????
QueerTruth
Darsithis
Sorry but “rampant”? No that not true.
Of course racist exists in all communities.
But to say that racism is rampant in the gay community is simply not true.
Blackceo
Racism is quite rampant in the gay community. What the hell are you talking about?
QueerTruth
Blackceo,
I am speaking from my experience. That’s what I’m talking about.
“Rampant” means: flourishing unchecked.
That is not true. It’s not flourishing and it’s not unchecked.
Of course it exists, but is gets better every year (in the gay community I live in). Not worse.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Darsithis:
It’s not racism to simply not be attracted to a certain type of guys. Sorry to inform ya but skin color, weight, height et all are PREFERENCES
If I not physically attracted to you in the name of political correctness am I supposed to suk your dcik???
Casting bigotry and hatred upon a group is racism. Not wanting to have sex with them, not so much…..
chi eg
LOL at guys on here claiming they’re not racist. Not being attracted to an entire race of people IS racist. For example, there are skinny Asians, muscular Asians, tall Asians, Asians with big dicks, Asians with dimples, Asians with big eyes, Asians with chiseled jaws, and on and on. Every white guy you’re attracted to has a jillion guys of different races who look like him – except for skin and eye color. But that’s what you can’t see past – and that’s what’s racist.
startenout
Exactly!
SnakeyJ
Not being attracted to someone is due to physical attributes and what triggers a sexual response. Just because someone doesn’t find anyone else as sexually appealing doesn’t mean they’re racist. There are people are extremely specific with what they want to have sex with right down to hair colour, size, amount of body hair. I knew a guy who was only interested in blonde jocks, and they all looked like they could be the same person. There’s another argument that stating on a profile “no Asians” is racist, but again that’s not true. It is an example of someone being rude, that’s it.
Elf92
What is the real intent behind this though? Because I feel like those same individual gay men who complain about “sexual” racism from other gay guys of another race, who may not find them interesting as an individual, are the same ones who will not even consider dating a gay guy of their own race.
Their intent for the outrage seems suspicious to me. I as a black gay man will feel much more offended if another black man would not want to go out with me. Not if another gay guy of another ethnic or racial background does not like me. I will feel “all in my feelings” for like a moment, but I wouldn’t feel outrage or demeaned. He just does not like me, that is it. Human beings are tribal. We will feel more inclined to date guys who have the same ethnic or racial background as we do.
*Now if the gay guy of another race is physically hostile to me while turning me down then I will be outraged. If he went all supremacist then I will be outraged, but I’m not going to want to force some individual to date me.*
—>If we don’t expect that of people who we share the same ethnic or racial background with, why do we expect that from other people of a different ethnic or racial background. It is just weird to me. And it just makes minorities seem pathetic and desperate (even if it was not intended to be) by placing a particular group on a pedestal.
I’m all for interracial love, but even I’m like “hmmm…no” “not today” “maybe not even ever” sometimes with guys of different ethnic or racial background.
The only thing I do agree with is you should just inform people of what type of guys you like without needing to demean those type guys you don’t like.
QueerTruth
Sorry. That is not correct. You are correlating things that do not necessarily match.
How can I prove this?
Easy.
Ask your asian american buds if they are attracted to other Gay Asians.
What you will get is a very large portion of Asian men who are not attracted to other Asian men. That is an uncomfortable fact that gay american Asians will not discuss, but it’s true. Are all these gay Asian men racists to their own race?
I don’t think so at all. So, no, you don’t have to be a bigot to not be attracted to a race. Remember that.
seaguy
Extreme Racism is so rampant in the gay community? What community is he speaking about the local chapter of the gay kkk in the bible belt? Sure there is racism in the gay community just like in the straight. But to say that it is rampant and imply that it is rampant across the entire community is exaggerating to an extreme and I would say prove it!
startenout
Well it’s rampant throughout our country, so likening the gay community to the straight community simply validated that point.
smarterthantheaveragebear
You just did.
AlexGA
Why saying a white dude…I assume? Moron
QueerTruth
Thank you. I agree. It is not “rampant”. People need to read a dictionary.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Please stop the “racist” bullthit!! Everyone is entitled to their own preference in whom they are sexually attracted to.
I am a blonde hair, blue eyed pretty muscular guy who is incredibly attracted to Asian guys. I can’t figger out who wouldn’t be. But to each his own. I don’t spray the “racist” tag on those not attracted to any group If you spew hatred and bigotry on a group simply based on being a member of a group is the definition of racism
There is waaaay too much hatred spewed upon the Gay community from the outside. We don’t need to fabricate “racism” from the inside…
AlexGA
Was saying a blonde hair, blue eyed pretty muscular guy….Please stop the blonde hair, blue eyed pretty muscular guy card…sight
calpoidog
What it’s like being the hunky gay Asian lead on a reality dating show?
-Guess we still don’t know the answer to that question until a “hunky” Asian is on one.
IAMBROWN
I liked him on the show. Thought he was sweet with a great smile. Pretty hunky. I wasn’t feeling the guy he chose though, the stalker guy. My friends and I were rooting for the guy from Wisconsin they seemed to have nice chemistry.
As for racism in the community: everyone has their strong point of view. Is it rampant in our community, as a man of color I would say yes. Both in overt and extremely subtle ways that have less to do with attraction and more to do with peoples privilege. Can you have preferences? absolutely. Saying you aren’t attracted to an entire race? Come on. That’s a bit much and just sounds hateful. Even if you aren’t attracted to an entire race of people…why say it? Take it a step further and ask yourself why aren’t you attracted to races outside of your own. If you’re honest with yourself…you might learn something new about your preferences. I think the community has come along way. We have a long way to go.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
AlexGA:
What should I say, overweight, out of shape and bald????.
It is an accurate description of of myself. It is not “playing a card” That is the standby for someone who isn’t.
zxcv
It’s very White of you