"She Loves Me, As I Do Her."

Lindsay Defends Sam Against Michael Lohan Attacks

Realizing it had been a while since he last caused trouble, evil Hollywood father Michael Lohan last weekend wrote a letter again taking on his daughter Lindsay’s lesbian girlfriend, Sam Ronson.

Mr. Lohan and Ronson have been trading barbs all year, and things got so heated that Lindsay took to MySpace to defend her gal pal.

Well, Mr. Lohan didn’t appreciate the public defiance and wrote to X17 on Sunday and blasted “hideous” Ronson, whom he accuses of planting the Lindsay letters, as well as being a slob:

I don’t believe that the recent blogs posted by ‘Lindsay’ were written by her… There is a lot more to Samantha than meets the eye. Not that what we see is so pleasing anyway… What’s with this ‘person?’ Look at the way she ‘dresses.’

Once more, she uses her middle finger more than she uses words. Have you ever seen her apartment? For God’s sake, when she runs out of toilet paper she tells people to use the cardboard roll. (I was told this firsthand).

That’s ridiculous. Doesn’t he know that lesbians need their vaginas and aren’t going to rub some hard cardboard up on there? Unless, you know, they’re into that sort of thing…

Lindsay has again come to Ronson’s rescue, declaring her love for Sam Ronson to Page Six:

My father obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods. He is out of line and his words show how much anger he has, and it’s dangerous and scary as it reminds me of how he treated my mother and I my whole childhood. He needs to be stopped. This is yet another reason why we aren’t speaking.

I am in a great place in life. I have overcome a lot and have been able to learn how to enjoy and appreciate my life in every way possible. I’m proud of myself for being able to make a change in the past year and a half.

My past is behind me, and that’s final. There’s nothing more to be said. All the false accusations that people try to make are simply because there’s no story when things are calm and good.

But they might as well let it go because their lies don’t affect me anymore. Samantha is not evil, I care for her very much and she’s a wonderful girl.

She loves me, as I do her.

Say what you will about little Lohan, but she’s handling all this pretty well.