Prince Harry’s new memoir Spare was only released on Tuesday and has already turned into a major blockbuster.
The English-language version of the tell-all sold 1.4 million copies in its first day, the book’s publisher Penguin Random House said in a statement.
Related: James Longman posts his honest review of Prince Harry’s memoir: “Netflix is probably really pissed”
While most readers may be gobbling it up to get the latest tea on all the messy inner workings inside Buckingham Palace, in a new viral clip from the memoir’s audiobook Harry highlights a different, ahem, member of the royal family. His junk!
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The audio has left listeners cringing as Harry dramatically describes applying a beauty product used by his late mother Princess Diana on his frostbitten penis. Mother, may I?
Listen to the audio clip below:
How is this real? pic.twitter.com/D0XSDFqEMG
— Ξvan Ross Katz (@evanrosskatz) January 11, 2023
The frigid mishap occurred in 2011 after Harry went on a charity trek to the Arctic, which he awkwardly refers to as “Frostnipistan.”
“My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatized. The last place I wanted to be was Frostnipistan,” the Duke of Sussex said in a completely serious tone.
After trying out different remedies that failed to alleviate his discomfort, a friend suggested he apply Elizabeth Arden cream on his nether regions, which Harry recalled his mother would use on her lips. This is getting very Freudian!
Once Harry gets his hands on the ointment it gets even weirder as Diana’s presence is further drawn into the vicinity of his private parts.
“I found the tube and the minute I opened it the smell transported me through time. I thought as my mother was right there in the room,” the Duke of Sussex added. “Then I took a smidge and applied it …. down there.” The pregnant pause!
Needless to say, the internet had a lot of thoughts on the matter…
the word frostnipistan is crazy pic.twitter.com/aT8MC4lN7Z
— Sock Is A Slur (@leoliveeeeee) January 11, 2023
Congrats, you just made me buy the damn book. 🤦♂️
— Ross Patterson (@StJamesStJames) January 11, 2023
Elizabeth Hardon
— Stewart (@StewyKingEFC) January 12, 2023
I’d be okay with knowing less of his truth. pic.twitter.com/fyNzO9Lcph
— Devyn (@HeyGayDev) January 12, 2023
I genuinely gasped multiple times pic.twitter.com/5EYOkiznO7
— clay (@claystevens1) January 11, 2023
Diana rn pic.twitter.com/swKRycZ8gX
— 🐀 Mak 🐀 (@MakATK) January 11, 2023
Elizabeth Arden: pic.twitter.com/0MG9oInBtH
— Danny Ratcliffe (@DannyRatcliffe) January 12, 2023
While Elizabeth Arden has not specifically addressed being mentioned in the book, the brand’s official Twitter account appeared to wink at the situation by promoting its Hyaluronic Acid and making note of its usefulness during “the colder months.”
You’ve heard all the buzz about plumping Hyaluronic Acid, but did you know it’s extremely helpful during the colder months ❄️?
The trick is to apply it to damp skin—HA pulls the moisture 💧 from the environment into the skin.
Shop now: https://t.co/uaomV6aFdP pic.twitter.com/dIERmwlip5
— Elizabeth Arden (@ElizabethArden) January 9, 2023
Frostbite aside, this is not the only mention of Harry’s johnson in his memoir.
In another section of the book, Harry finally puts to bed the debate of whether or not he and Prince William were circumcised.
While there were rumors that Diana didn’t want her boys to be cut, Harry writes those stories are false because they are in fact “snipped.”
Besides his anatomy, the 401 page tell-all describes Harry’s tumultuous relationship with his stepmother Camilla, father King Charles and his brother Prince William, as well as his late mother’s gay butler.
The library is open and Prince Harry is reading!
Related: Prince Harry slams Diana’s gay butler for “milking” her death: “It made my blood boil”
My2CentsWorth
Why did he feel that this had to be included in his book?
bachy
Every tell-all needs the odd saucy bits!
Diplomat
Last i checked, it’s called marketing. Brilliant. I hope he cut himself a royalty clause on book sales.
SDR94103
nothing but love for Harry. camoora, go fork yourself.
scotty
proving yet again, the royals are useless even as figureheads. bugger off with these puff pieces