Liz Smith Likes Real Tits

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Omnisexual gossip Liz Smith’s rapidly becoming our favorite free sex stalwart. The 85-year old, who likes when we poke her, penned a column this week in which she gets up close and personal with Nicole Kidman’s chest, which some say have been inflated.

And Smith does not approve:

I admire a fine belle poitrine as much as anyone, but I can’t stand these added-on half grapefruits that look as unnatural as can be. I have known Nicole for a long time now and her natural assets were quite good enough to start with.

Ya hear that, ladies!? Smith likes you just the way you are, so don’t go getting any implants, which, we think, are super tacky – and that should be reason enough.