Lobbyist Claims Congressional Support For NFL Gay Ban

american_football_totally_gay-360x268This is apparently real: a Washington D.C. lobbyist named Jack Burkman is actually, really, un-ironically pushing a bill to ban gay people from the NFL. For real.

How exactly would this work? What’s the penalty for being gay in the NFL? Are they going to throw gay players in jail or what? And why just the NFL? If you’re such a bigot why don’t you care about gay people in baseball and tennis and saunas and doctor’s offices?

And why are gay people the source of his moral outrage? Why not smoking, or dogfighting, or spitting in public, or domestic abuse? All of those things are pretty objectionable, some more than others.

This joker claims to have legislator support, really, but won’t identify a single lawmaker who actually backs the bill. He probably doesn’t have any. “I could but I won’t… to protect their privacy,” he said. Uh huh.

Reporters have been needling him non-stop to identify one member of Congress who supports this effort. So far, all he’ll say is that they exist, but he won’t name them.

So is this guy really real? Yes, apparently. There is no indication that he is an actor hired by some hidden camera Comedy Central show. He really is an actual lobbyist with an actual business in Washington DC.

And now everyone knows that he exists. Good job, Jack.


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  • Mezaien

    Jack Burkman, people like you should be exterminated in concentration camps! leave it to us! we German, we know all about GaZ Z Z Z .

  • Cam

    Fine, let them stand up and be counted. Oh, and while they’re at it, they may as well explain why they designate the NFL a non-profit and exempt them from taxes.

  • Caleb in SC

    Blah, blah, blah. Another GOP homophobe doing something to discredit their party. Good for them. It only signals their impending doom.

  • Jonty Coppersmith

    I suppose there is a slight chance that I’m wrong, but I seriously doubt that congress has any authority over who football teams hire.

  • newecreator

    Great job GOP. More people will hate you now.

  • katbox80

    People will do anything for money.

  • sangsue

    Apparently he’s connected with the DC Madam. He was one of the names in her little black book. He has nothing to say about so called “morals.”Besides, the NFL is already making noise about pulling the Super Bowl out of Arizona if their “religious conscience” bill says so I don’t think Goober’s “no gays allowed” hard-on of a bill would be going anywhere in Congress except for the people who already hates gays.

  • Respect4all

    Do you ever wonder if right wingers are engaged in a secret competition to see who can come up with the most idiotically insane act of bigotry? Just when you think they’ve come up with the most ridiculous lunacy imaginable, someone comes along and goes one step crazier. It’s quite remarkable.

  • Respect4all

    I just took a look at the photo. Do you think number 20 will be forced to change his name under the new law?

  • misterhollywood

    Glad to see this kind of support. Maybe Colin K and a few others will come out of the closet now? We have a page up on him at our website (my profile will link you there).

    Good job Jack!

  • balehead

    It’s not 5 senators it’s actually about 27…..Stupidity is gaining momentum…

Comments are closed.