So let’s get this straight — in the following clip wherein gay virgins who choose to be chaste until marriage answer questions about their beliefs, the following exchange occurs:
A self-identifying Christian gay man is asked, “What if it doesn’t work out and you wind up ‘saving yourself’ for the complete wrong person?”
And he responds, “That’s why people like me save sex for marriage and not for ‘I kinda like you.’ The process of marriage goes a long way towards making sure we enter into a sexual commitment with a sound mind. OK, but what if it still doesn’t work out? Sure, that happens. Well then we’re really getting into the moral question of divorce…suffice it to say, there are some situations where I would probably seek remarriage.”
Like, oh, say building up sex as this weird virtuous rose petal only to have absolutely no sexual chemistry with your new husband?
The two interviewees seem like perfectly nice people, but whoa.
Watch the clip here:
While it’s not for me, I don’t see an issue with someone choosing to save themselves for marriage. The author seems a little judgmental to me. It’s their decision to do this, who cares?
Charlie in Charge
As a friend’s mother said in college, “You try the shoes on before you buy them.”
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
I too saved myself (for about 15 minutes :p)
Or as my mom told me: if you’re cooking for someone special, it better not be the first time you ever boiled water.
Im a virgin in my twenties. And religion is not the reason as I’m atheist, just a sucker for believing in the right guy and maybe just a tad naive in thinking it’s worth the wait.
And not to lose my asshole reputation on here, I find promiscuous people disgusting.
@iggy6666: Jeez maybe you ever think it’s a mutual thing. I know that I’d stay clear of you within a 100 yards with your bitchy attitude and messed up in the head repressed self.
These guys are completely f*cked up in the head. It was made for women to save their hymens for marriage. They could do every thing else. Just not vaginal sex. This is all about religion and of coarse the usual repression. They don’t even have to say it. I already know.
Yeah, that’s exactly what I want. A guy who’s sole sexual experience is jacking off. Sometimes I’ve been hit up buy supposed virgins and I’m like..good luck. No way..no how am I interested in that.
That’s really awesome and you should be proud of that. Hold out for the right guy, it will happen!
@Stache99: just because I don’t appeal or get approval from you or others doesn’t make me ”messed up and repressed”…. if having some self respect and values is such an oppression call me guilty …..
The words BIGOTRY and HOMOPHOBES are so overplayed in articles and the comment section. Most stereotypes and negative comments are true. So if you want to play dumb and look the other way go for it. Straight people love when you hang off their legs and scream LIKE ME LIKE ME. Our self worth is only as valuable as we make it.
Gay marriage. Gay adoption. Joint benefits. Joint bank accounts. Suburban living in two car garage. And now this. Lord what next?
Wait. I know what HAS to be next. Magazines such as Today’s Queen, Queen House and Garden, Newsqueen……I mean really, isn’t SOMEONE going to stay home and take care of the kids? Think for a minute about just where this is going and whether a June Cleaver is NOT in the picture somewhere. Hey, were I to have saved myself for Mr. Right, got married, moved to the burbs and a few kids came into the picture I would tell Ward “dear, YOU are simply going to HAVE to make more money and double your indemnity”.
This sure ain’t the gay culture I came of age in. Maybe ol’ Ronnie and Brother Falwell were r…………………
To some people sex isn’t a priority.
HONESTLY @iggy6666 is right promiscous people gay or str8 are ‘disgusting’ 4 luck of a better word. Now pepo lyk @stache99 do u eva think 4 a moment ‘SO WHAT AM GAY! WHAT EXAMPLE M I SHOWING!’ coz 4 ril wat example r u giving 4 all the young gay chaps like me. @stache99 is part ov the problem coz its nownder S.t.d’s r on a rise n kids r disowned coz parents r afraid eir kids cud turn out like ‘that’ most of the gay guys in my generation dnt want to show up at prides coz ey kno pepo rnt ere 2 celebrate but to laugh at e ‘freaks’ nd still wat example r u showing other countries wic still crimnalise/dehumanise gay pepo. DO U EVER THINK that maybe its pepo like u.
@iggy666: is right promiscous pepo can never find peace. U need to respect urself to get the respect 4rm smwea else. @stache99: the stereotyping of gay pepo has 2 change nd it starts with u.
The mental and emotional damage is obvious when someone equates sex before marriage to promiscuity.
Well if he’s a virgin like most young christians are…he’s sucking dick.
@Charlie in Charge: Or as Alicia Silverstone said in Clueless: “You know how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet!”
@iggy6666: No matter what your beliefs are, there will always be some self-righteous a-hole telling you how wrong you are. Good for you! And good luck!
@iggy6666: Not sure what that was all about. I could care less whether or not you stay celibate. You point the finger and judge others ie “they’re disgusting” then expect to be judged yourself.
@AngeloWinged: I think your directing this towards me but I have no idea what your trying to say. Is this some form of Ebonics? Lol
@Cobalt Blue:Trolling seems to be your priority.
@Ottoman: That’s what I don’t understand. They think sex is like an alcoholic picking a drink. Just once and it’s all over. I’ve lost my virginity and I’m now worthless and disgusting or I’m going to hell. I mean what can you even say to that.
So many of the straight guys saving themselves for marriage turn out to be gay. I wonder if these gay virgins are secretly straight.
“I’m saving my sh!thole for Jesus!!!”
As @QJ201: points out, that always seems to lead to the redefinition of oral sex as “not really sex.”
But then there’s the @iggy6666: version to the effect of “I’m saving my sh!thole even though I’m not religious, just so I can feel superior to all you ‘disgusting’ [email protected] out there.” Where is non-religious Iggy going to find another suitable virgin, except at church? Poor Iggy, he’s an old maid in training & will probably end up as a 50 year old meth addict.
Come on guys ! There is a huge difference between having sex and beeing promiscuous ! Don’t be ridiculous. You sound exactly like bigots !
@Bob LaBlah : you are absolutely right ! I tought that we fought for the right to be who we are, not just a pale copy of heterosexuals…and bigots.
FYI all that “virginity” before marriage” thing was a birth control method..to avoid young girls to have babies. Period.
Wat @iggy6666 : pointed out was the issue of being promiscous not having sex b4 marriage.There is a difference. The rest of u who sleep around every random tom ‘dick’ nd harry are WEAK pathetic men who are looking for smthn 2 fill a void but r searching 4 it in the wrong places. Besides respect ur selves it takes nothing 4rm u to ve standards
@AngeloWinged: Well, the article was NOT about promiscuity. It was about gay virgins avoiding sex before marriage. And then Virgin Iggy brought up promiscuity out of the blue.
Nobody is stopping either Iggy or you from avoiding promiscuity (however you guys define that), without resorting to the extreme measure of keeping your virginity into your late 20s, 30s, 40s and maybe forever — not that anyone is impressed by your doing that anyway.
This thread is Pure Gold.
MASSIVE eye-roll. it’s just so terribly trite and lame – virgins waxing rhapsodic about something they don’t know anything about. And then putting forth false dichotomies – “oh, we believe sex is a blah blah blah bonding blah blahhhh” – you know what? That’s not exclusive to waiting til marriage. Congrats – you guys are merely dooming yourselves to a legally binding contract with a guy you may end up being TOTALLY SEXUALLY INCOMPATIBLE WITH.
oh well, not my mess. i don’t have a puritanical view of sex. note the “not getting any” commenters like to pretend that those of us who *are* sexually active must be weak, pathetic men? yeah. keep telling yourself that. won’t make your life better, won’t make ours any less awesome 🙂
i don’t know who this “angelowinged” loony is, but judging from his abhorrent typing it’s rather clear that sex will not be on his horizons for a very long time. and neither will literacy.
“promiscuous people are disgusting” is a lie someone tells themselves when the reality is nobody wants to f**k them. “i’m saving myself for the right guy” – for the right guy to what? be your FIRST? or be your first and last? 😉 keep waiting. keep pretending it’s by choice.
Onthemark- You’re an idiot. The issue is not sex itself. It’s the guys who’ve had more partners then fingers and toes, who just cant stand the thought of using a condom or getting someone’s last name before they screw! All for what an orgasm?!?! And I could give two shits about a sex before marriage, marriage is just another tool to deny and use as leverage against gay people. It’s actually about love, can you empathize with that??? And at 50 years old ill be a retired millionaire and not some guy waiting in a stall to service some random trucker. Having STANDARDS is a horrible thing, apparently to hard to grasp by some……. 🙂
Iggy – if your intention was to come across as a complete puritanical ninny, you succeeded.
i’ve had more partners than i have fingers and toes. and i’ve never once had unprotected sex. i have standards. i don’t screw puritanical ninnies. random truckers? where do you live, Bumf**k Nowheresville, population 500, all inbred?
@AtticusBennett: good for you. Your parents must be very proud.
And you can paint me how ever you want. I could care less. But this convo is getting old. I have a supper to prep for me, my ten cats and mother. Maybe masturbate and cry over all my failed conquests. And after that I plan on finishing my puzzle, not to brag but its a thousand piece, things could get pretty crazy. Wish me luck!!
@iggy6666: Nobody is stopping YOU from using a condom, either. Or getting someone’s last name before you screw. Is being a virgin easier than using a condom?
“It’s the guys who’ve had more partners then fingers and toes…” – GASP! That’s, like, over 20!!! (I hope you didn’t faint at that thought!)
But actually, no, that’s not what the article is about. It’s about gay virgins avoiding sex before marriage. You’re the one who was bragging about being a virgin. Now you’re pissed off that we’re not impressed that you’re a virgin, plus you’re backtracking to say you don’t “give two shits” about sex before marriage when THAT WAS THE SUBJECT OF THE ARTICLE.
they are. they’re not puritanical either. they weren’t virgins when they married, and they never expected my sisters or i to be. my parents have met my boyfriends, they’ve met my lovers, they take no issue with my sex life. i guess from your comment that your parents would be ashamed of you if they knew you were having sex. that’s too bad. i don’t have that problem.
congrats. you’re a virgin. nobody wants you. yay. be proud. celibacy due to lack of opportunity. good for you 😉
@iggy6666: Why is everything so black and white with you? Someone only has sex when in love/married or they’re having unprotected sex with anything that moves. Someone is either retired as a millionaire at 50, or they’re hanging out in bathrooms looking for sex? Really? You don’t see the middle ground anywhere?
Having standards IS a good thing … and I would say that most people have standards. Those standards may not be the same as yours though. What makes your standards better than anyone else’s? My standard is that you should do what makes you happy, and what you are comfortable with, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else. For you, that might mean no sex before marriage, and that’s fine – as long as that works for you and your partner, I don’t mind. For others, it might mean 10 partners in a lifetime, or 100, or 1000. It just doesn’t concern me that much … I know what I’m comfortable with in my own life, and live accordingly. It’s not my place to judge others who live differently than I do.
@iggy6666: LOL – I’m a cat fan but somehow it does not surprise me that you already have TEN cats and you’re only in your 20s.
You won’t be a “retired millionaire” at 50, you’ll be a hoarder with 150 cats!
4 pepo lyk @AtticusBennet: just want to comment nd be seen the f.o.m.o is real! or r u jst tryin to justify that its ok 4 all it takes to shug wit u is spend 5 bucks on u (can smn say WEAK!) now look im proud to value my self im proud that u’ll neva find an app like gindr on my phone or find me at ‘those’ gay clubs at night lookin 4 a hookup coz u kno wat my life my body is much much more than casual sex and i dnt need it! I hve a dude nd wen i got him i wasnt looking 4 sex. Sex merely complimented our already awesome rln nd guess wat he respects it that i value my life my body like that he takes me seriously nd has influenced him 2 be more of a man. Now forgive me i’ll never be some tick out on the hunt 4 the next dick to suck on (can smn say WEAK!) coz u kno wat ive a future and an actual life to think abt! So next time smn calls u a fag u brought it onto urself. Respect ur self command respect nd its given to u with a glass of scotch on the side.. *drops mic*
@AngeloWinged: you dropped a mic? is that why that ramble of yours was completely incomprehensible?
i pity your illiteracy. i respect myself enough to not cut off my balls to cater to insecure ninnies who are ashamed and embarrassed by expressions of sexuality.
yeah. you’ll never be like those gay guys who have sex. or are capable of reading and writing.
@AngeloWinged: You have a vivid imagination. (We’re impressed.) And it’s nice that you have invented your own language. (We’re not impressed.)
@AngeloWinged: that is the manxome foe u sought. So rested he by the Tumtum tree. You know he stood awhile in though Who thagat do thagid othagi mothagiss is waht I”m saying. I mean seriously the vorpal blade went si not it! He left it dead, and with no resepct. Yu went galumphing bac>?
@iggy6666: Funny that you share your user name with Iggy Pop. A known hardcore slut and drug user. Maybe it’s the irony of it all:)
It’s repulsive how judgemental and nasty both queerty and a lot of these commenters are about people making sexual choices that they wouldn’t make for themselves. In other words, fogies deciding “conform, conform! You must all be just the way I am!”
They want to wait for marriage? Good for them. That is THEIR choice, and I guess there’s some defensive protesting too much from people who don’t.
@demented: No sweety. If iggy pop and slang boy had just said were virgins till marriage and left it at that no one wouldv’e said anything. However….them pointing out that anyone who doesn’t is disgusting and has no standards is a way to say were superior to you. Of coarse people are going to call their sh*t out.
@AtticusBennett:Will you marry me!! for Christ sake, what is with all the judgment. Iggy — groovy you want to be celibate, but knock off your judgments about anyone else who wants to screw anything with a penis .. how exactly does that affect you, other than perhaps limit your virgin-mate pool? So, get a good dose of STFU and live and let live.
@demented: uh, sorry the judgments are about Iggy and ilk’s need to CALL OUT others because they are (gasp) disgustingly “promiscuous,” whatever that may be. Frankly, no one should give a rat’s ass what a clearly delusional wannabe 50-year old millionaire should think.
@onthemark: haha. You must not understand sarcasm. In truth i hate cats and have a dog named Jake. He is a malamute/timberwolf cross who like longs walks on the beach and belly scratches.And you’re right about being a millionaire at fifty, I am aiming for 35. I just love ”impressing” faceless strangers in comment feeds while also remaining anonymous myself, nothing is more satisfactory then feeling ”superior” to others on the web.
Yes. This would also be sarcasm
I gotta get back to that puzzle, its not going to finish itself. Probably watch lord of the rings trilogy later. No biggie
Is it weird that i am excited that we are talking about sex before marriage and promiscuity because it shows progress? Keep up the fight! I am a college stdnt majoring in finance and accounting on full sponcorship and am african american so i am used to text language when texting but forgive me for that one…i did not realise i was texting dinasours. So i can pretty much read and write. Anyway DO WHAT BRINGS U PEACE with your self and enviroment @AtticusBennet: and company! Its all that matters
(now that was hard not using text language)
Ohh! And people should give a ‘rats ass’ about that how can you think that people should not care. The statistics are that gay pepo are responsible for 52 percent of new h.i.v infections and that is just within the 1.8 that makes gay men/bisexual so am sorry but the fact is you should care because it starts with you
@AngeloWinged: You might want to learn to spell “dinosaurs” before you disparagingly accuse others of being one, lest it undermine your self-proclaimed intelligence as a college student on a “full sponcorship [sic]” — the college may want to rethink its admission standards — but that is another topic.
@AngeloWinged: I don’t give a rat’s ass what a half-wit like you thinks. That is correct.
So just to be clear. I didn’t impress anyone by announcing my intact virginity???? Hahaha
just remember folks.There is no cure for herpes!
Iggy, you don’t have to carry on arguing with this pompous condescending idiot called Atticus. He thinks the world revolves around what he thinks and says and will attack anyone whose views are different from his. It’s useless to reason with him. I’m quite a relentless guy but even I got bored. Just carry on with your life and don’t succumb to pressure. Although I’m quite picky, I’ve never really thought it to be necessary to remain celibate until I find Mr. Right, but that’s just my opinion and won’t bash you for your own.
Again, just ignore Atticus. He’s so immature it’s actually frightening.
@Dxley: What’s wrong pumpkin? Did Atticus say something to hurt your feelings. You’re obviously butt hurt over something.
I don’t get hurt, Stache. People like me don’t get emotionally hurt. Last time I got my feelings “hurt” I was 16, maybe? I just get bored!
@iggy6666: “There is no cure for herpes!” I almost hate to tell you this but you can get herpes from kissing (perhaps known as “first base” in your world). It will be ironic if you got herpes at 40 from kissing a guy who – correctly – calls himself a virgin because he’s never done anything except kiss.
@iggy6666: “I didn’t impress anyone by announcing my intact virginity????”
Maybe we thought that was sarcasm? But now that you mention it, how can you PROVE you’re a virgin? (Never mind here. I mean to your eventual virginal sex partner, assuming you ever find one.) By your intact hymen? By the way you squeal? By your sheer inexperience and charming naivete?
@AngeloWinged: “The statistics are that gay pepo are responsible for 52 percent of new h.i.v infections…”
We DO care about that, but that’s a reason for caution, not virginity.
You’re quite an optimist if you think the virginity message will be easier to sell to “gay pepo” than the condom message has been. Good luck with that!
@iggy6666: said… “And not to lose my asshole reputation on here, I find promiscuous people disgusting.”
And I’m sure that they find self righteous, judgmental people disgusting.
This is your problem, you seem to feel, like right wingers, that anything different from the way you do something is a horrible assault on your delicate nature.
With that attitude I can’t IMAGINE why you haven’t met the right guy yet.
And @iggy6666: , when cat & puzzle jokes fly over their heads, are they really worth responding to?
@Dxley: “People like me don’t get emotionally hurt.” You mean sociopaths?
@BrianOH: You make a very rational comment while being nicer to these a-holes than most of us have been.
But I think Iggy is wrong for yet another reason – it’s entirely possible there are some retired 50-year-old millionaires out there who are also happy, anonymous sex fiends at truck stops. I bet Florida is full of them!
@Cam: Well maybe Iggy6666, AngeloWinged, lykeitiz and the inimitable Dxley could have a “four-gy”! After that they could do a 1,000 piece puzzle together.
@AngeloWinged, maybe I would bother to read you if you would bother to learn to spell.
@Dxley: i don’t think the world revolves around me, at all. i am very well aware, however, that cowardly anonymous trolls like you are utterly obsessed with me 🙂
Haha. You guys are so sad. Trying to play head doctor and pick apart and fabricate a persons mental state over a statement simplified to- I DON’T LIKE SLUTS. suddenly I’m a crazy, antisocial, self hating yadda yadda blah blah.. Your responses have now been on repeat the past fifty comments.@onthemark: oh silly, you can verify someone’s a virgin by their abstinence ring. And once you seal the deal an angel comes into the room takes the ring and gives you a high five and throws around some confetti, rainbow colored naturally@Cam: That sounds like a great idea. The puzzle would be done in a fraction of the time
@Cam: whoops my bad cam. I gave you credit for the puzzle idea…. but anyone who has read past comment boards know youre exactly one those people you just described. Screaming bigot and homophobe because someone disagrees with you. And then constantly quoting, taking things out of context and comparing completely unrelated issues.
Funny guy, Atticus. I actually laughed at that!
We are still at this!? If u actually bothered to read my comments @onthemark: @Dxley: nd company i never mentioned anything to do with virginity, all i talked about was PROMISCUITY! I could hardly care if any1 has sex b4 or after marriage..my sole point was RESPECT 4 ones body and to be EXAMPLARY to other people like you because we as gay people need it!!… Now look, wat i get from the old generation is that may be, due to the times, they were told they are Worthless,God did not love them,They will never ammount to anything… E.t.c and that had deep emotional,self image damage and maybe thats why they will justify anything like @AtticusBennett: nd company do even if it were UNHEALTHY sex lives. Now if u see holes in that argument u need a shrink!! Respect your self,Wat example are u showing to the rest for CRYING OUT LOUD YOU ARE AN ADULT, ask ur self if it is really shocking that str8 men fear that every gay guy wants to sleep with them or why gay men are compaired to pedophiles or why they think you all have s.t.d’s and to think that you guys all jumped at Paris hilton’s neck when she called gay men the ‘HORNIEST CREATURES!’ coz its true u guys are proof! 2 words, GROW UP! some of you are way older than me (now if u guys want 2 go ahead and do that whole gay thing of pointing out spelling errors as a come back go ahead u have no substantial argument anyway)
@AngeloWinged: And if “u” actually bothered to read the goddam article you’d see that it was about virginity. Try reading it! Same goes for Iggy.
@AngeloWinged: Yeah, you’re just too damn smart for anyone to understand your Ebonics for Dips*its Slang.
You do realize that your extremely easy to pick on. Nothing better then a smug self righteous loudmouthed idiot.
I say keep it coming…
@onthemark yes! The article was about virginity and the arguments about promiscuity reasonated from the article when @iggy6666 pointed out that good/bravo for whoever the article is about because abstainance is a better CHOICE than promiscuity. people attacked him for his INTELLIGENT thought and i jumped to his deffence!! But do u actually have an intelligent argument tho or are you just trying to have the last word. Keep the peace
@AngeloWinged: “abstainance is a better CHOICE than promiscuity.”
A weird either/or.
That’s like saying it’s better to go without eating for a week, rather than eat a dozen donuts and a gallon of ice cream.
If that’s your only “choice,” yeah maybe – and why would that be your only choice? – but in the real world there are many healthy in-between choices.
Anyway, how do you define “promiscuity”? To hear you guys, it seems if a gay virgin falls to temptation and has sex with ONE guy, then he says “damn, now I’m a slut, now I’m promiscuous so I might as well go to the truck stop.”
And again, the article didn’t say anything about promiscuity being the Manichean opposite of virginity. Even the crazy Christian virgins don’t seem to think that; they think they’re just waiting for the right guy. They will have a long wait, but not as long as you and Iggy apparently.
@onthemark: FINALLY THANK YOU for conceeding to our point that there are healthy ‘in betweens’ *pheew*
No one said that u are supposed to choose btn virgin or promiscuos strictly!. That ‘healthy in between’ is the Self Respect we are talking about, Having Standards/ not sleeping around with everyone u land on.
This is a great lesson to everyone who wants to teach, that you can only do so to a certain extent the learner has to bring himself to the finish line…And still if smn chooses to abstain its way better than being promiscuos as simple as that, like @iggy6666: pointed out earlier.
Kansas guy is hot but he comes across as being stuck up and kind of aloof. He is probably a republican.
I don’t get saving sex for marriage when your gay. First the pool of other gay men doing the same is small so your chances of meeting a gay virgin are slim so what’s the point? A bonding experience, well bond with someone your not married too maybe that bond will lead to marriage.
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