PERFUME SHOWER

Bravo’s New Fragrance: Lady Gaga’s Pee

lady-gaga-artpop-2You know how hunters douse themselves in animal urine to mask their smell and attract prey? Apparently that’s also going on over at Bravo.

According to Andy Cohen, Lady Gaga was hanging out at the Little Cable Station That Could a few months ago, couldn’t find a bathroom, and peed in a trash can. There are already plenty of unanswered questions here — was it in a closet, or in someone’s cubical, or in a kitchen, or what? — but then it gets weirder.

Cohen instructed some staffers — lucky, lucky staffers — to stop working on TV shows for a minute and bottle up the urine. More questions: was there other stuff in the trash can? What kind of bottle did they use? Did they tip the can over and carefully pour, or ladle it? Did they do it over a sink? Did they use gloves? Were the gloves from a first aid kit? Does someone need to go around to all the first aid kits now to make sure they’re fully stocked with gloves? Is there a glove shortage going on over at Bravo? For someone reason we’re really fixated on the glove situation.

Anyway, then they added some alcohol because “urine is toxic,” which, what? No it isn’t, unless there’s something really wrong with the person. It may be gross, but there are plenty of piss bottoms out there who would be happy to disabuse Cohen first-hand of his misunderstandings about golden showers.

Long story short, Andy Cohen invented a cocktail made out of a lady’s urine, good work everyone.

We’d link to the article, but it contains an auto-playing video, and we can all agree that those are worse than getting sprayed with urine.