It’s gotta be awfully lonely being Chris Christie these days. The New Jersey governor and flailing presidential candidate has been teetering between one and two percent in the polls for months and he doesn’t seem to be gaining much ground.
Now, with the Iowa caucuses just a few days away, he’s campaigning harder than ever. And grossing us all out in the process.
Related: Muscle Man Explains Why “Fat Sex” Is The Best Sex And Chubby Chasing Is “As Good As It Gets”
This morning, Christie used a very unfortunate Rocky metaphor while discussing the upcoming Iowa caucuses on Morning Joe this morning.
How about we take this to the next level?
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“I feel like I’m going to start pounding the meat, Joe,” Christie said. “Pounding the meat!”
Clearly the girthy governor is not familiar with Urban Dictionary‘s definition of that phrase. Or maybe he is?
Related: Science Confirms The Bigger The Belly, The Better The Lover
In any event, the comment brings to mind this totally grody GIF that began circulating online a few years back. No, it’s not actually Christie. (Thank God!) But it looks like him. And that’s bad enough.
Here’s the video of this morning’s interview. Fast forward to the 5:30 mark to hear Christie talk about “pounding the meat.” Or don’t.
Sorry to have ruined your day.
h/t: Gawker
Desert Boy
I read Gov. Krispie Kreme had his stomach stapled to lose weight? What happened? He’s as big as a house.
1EqualityUSA
He can’t reach it, let alone, pound it.
Glücklich
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPZ4yah3ROU
Glücklich
@Desert Boy:
Really. Big guys can be sexy as fuck but when one loses all semblance of a waist to that degree of rotundity and it instead becomes an equator…no. Unhealthy and gross. Add to that the unsavory politics and bullfrog neck…I’m at a loss for words.
Keebler ILF
Oh I get it. It was a reference to the movie Rocky, training in a meat freezer.
Sweetie Pie
He has hidden talents…
billeetee
Okay, I’m NOT out (no pun intended) to make-fun of, nor disparage ‘chubs’. You guys have a right to be gay, find love and happiness, just as all the rest of us. BUT, I DO NOT want that picture of Chris ‘poundind his meat’ in my brain! Talk about obscenity. Maybe we could get The Supremes to declare Christie as ‘porn’!
Bob LaBlah
@Desert Boy: That picture is at least a year old. Christie has lost at least eighty pounds since that picture was taken.
If you have cable tv Fox Noise Channel will reair the debates over the weekend. Its worth a look at just how sad the clown car occupants of the GOP really are. Try not to laugh at Marco too hard, regardless of how difficult it will be. I respect my neighbors piece and quiet, and I live in a house. I swear he (Rubio) strikes me as something me and other guys used to NAIL in the dark room of Melrose Baths back in the 1980’s.
Bryguyf69
@Desert Boy: Yeah, he had his stomach stapled in anticipation of a Presidential bid. Not only would it make him more presentable, but one of the major question asked of candidates is whether you’re healthy enough to survive a Presidential term. That’s why most candidates eventually release a doctor’s report. Like their tax info, disclosure is not mandatory but failure to do so is bad PR. Trump’s doctor, in typical Trump fashion, allegedly said that he’s the most fit candidate EVER.
Bryguyf69
I respect people of all sizes but since Christie is so repulsive in many ways, I’ll just add this…
When moderator Megyn Kelly alluded to Trump by saying, “Let’s address the elephant that’s not in the room…” my initial reaction was. “But the elephant IS in the room!”
Glücklich
@Bryguyf69:
LOL!
dinard38
@Bryguyf69: LMAO!!! That’s just wrong. LOL!!!
Marky
@Bryguyf69: Chris Christie + Meat Pounding Reference = Scallopine and nothing else.
martinbakman
@Desert Boy: Or as Tony Soprano would say, ‘What happened, ya fat fuck?’
joeyty
Unfair. That’s an OLD photo. (Though he still looked a LITTLE too fat this week).
Glücklich
@joeyty:
Christie deserves every unflattering wide-angle photo coming to him.
joeyty
@Glücklich: Well what do you want him to do ? Get a mop ?
ScottOnEarth
Christie is an obnoxious asshole. His weight is irrelevant unless you have the mentality of an eight-year-old and make childish fat jokes.
Kathukid
He hasn’t even seen his dick since college.
Kangol
I cannot wait for the Iowa and New Hampshire caucuses to be over and for this horrible person, Chris Christie, to leave the race. The only problem, though, is that the residents of New Jersey will be stuck with him until his term ends in a few years. Here’s hoping he’ll resign, find a sinecure on Wall Street, and leave politics behind forever.
Glücklich
@joeyty:
A mop? What, to bathe with?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSJQEl5vcAo
1EqualityUSA
Glucklich, My spouse got mad at me for chiming in on this thread. Just when I was starting to feel remorseful, you submit the above clip. Damn. I’m slipping back into eightyearolddom.
joeyty
@Glücklich: That’s amusing. But not as funny as his mop thing. That had me on the floor. I can see why he was annoyed by the question from some college brat, but he made it worse.