Singer Will Not Tolerate Wandering Eyes

“Look At Me! Madge Commands Thee!”

Has Madonna lost her mind? Or does she just think she’s really, really interesting? The iconic singer apparently had some eye-popping demands for journalists covering her Live Earth appearance.

The Mirror reports:

…If you were lucky enough to be granted an audience with Madonna backstage, you’d find her equally mesmerizing – or else!

…US TV presenters who interviewed her were bizarrely ordered never to lose eye contact with her. Before being ushered into the Queen of Pop’s presence at Wembley on Saturday, interviewers were instructed by minions: Eye contact must be maintained at all times.

Never look down to check notes – all questions must be memorized or the interview will be terminated.

The offending journalist will then be marched to Madonna’s estate, where they will be stripped, thrown in a dungeon and wait for Madonna’s return.

Upon her arrival, Madonna will unceremoniously unhinge her jaw, let loose a terrible shriek and devour them whole…