Look Forward To Dying By Reserving A Coffin Painted With a Hot Twink

When it’s time for you to die, don’t you want to go into the ground in style? How about in a casket adorned with a giant rainbow flag? Or a hot young muscled lad? Then might we suggest you put down a deposit with this German funeral home.

Königsfeld & Brandl is hoping to attract gay clientele who’ve come to terms they will not remain young forever by offering a mix of prideful and erotic boxes for you to go into the ground in. Thirtysomething couple Thomas Brandl and Michael Königsfeld are running the operation under a new marketing campaign slugged “Those who want a warmer, somewhat more fantastical departure, will find us to be a sensitive partner.”

Not only will they put you in a gays-only cemetery, they’ll also make sure the other skeletons know you’re family by marking your coffin with obvious queer branding. But be forewarned: Straight women are also being drawn to the caskets with the chiseled men. Michelangelo would be proud.