Lord And Lady Voldemort Support Gay Marriage Now That They’re Powerless

Now that Dick Cheney is no longer Vice President, he and his wife Lynne have gone on the daytime talk show The View to announce that they’re not against marriage equality. Lynne says she’s not against gay marriage, but she doesn’t say she’s for it either.

When asked if he supports a federal law banning marriage equality, Dick says “Freedom means freedom for everybody and you oughta to have the right to make whatever choice you wanna make with respect to your own personal situation.” Note, he didn’t say he opposes a federal law either, he just thinks everyone should have “freedom,” which we assume means the freedom to vote on your right to marry.

Some people will see their words on The View as evidence of Republicans finally coming around on this issue, but when you consider the substance of what they said, it’s pretty empty. When asked by Terry Gross about gay marriage in 2004, Lynne said she thinks it should be left up to the states. In 2009, Dick said pretty much the same thing.

So the “progressive” Republican line these days is that they’re open-minded enough to let people vote on your marriage. At this rate, national Republicans will support marriage equality sometime around the year 3000.