Valentine’s Day is for lovers, but for the rest of us it’s a glaring reminder of our singledom. Don’t fret though, because you could’ve ended up like one of these five couples who pretty much loved each other to death. Read, digest, and maybe give a little thanks that you’ll be having that dinner for one tonight.
Michael Edwards (left) and John Edwards were one of the first gay couples married in the U.K., and they were destined to spend the rest of their lives together. Unfortunately, the whole “til death do you part” thing came sooner than expected. Michael broke John’s heart, literally, when he stabbed him in it after an argument over the heating bill. It turns out that the happy couple wasn’t so happy and was plagued by Michael’s penchant for domestic violence, something he’d been arrested for in the past before the two got together. Edwards was later sentenced to life in prison for the crime, and isn’t eligible for parole for at least 14 years.
As a gay porn star, cannibal and murderer, Luka Magnotta is definitely a triple threat of WTF. The baby-faced Canadian filmed himself torturing kittens and posted the video online before he moved onto humans, namely Chinese student Lin Jun. Jun was studying in Montreal when he met Magnotta and the two became romantically involved.
However, Magnotta decided to end it by murdering and dismembering Jun and mailing his body parts to various regional politicians. Police found a video of the murder, cheekily titled “1 lunatic, 1 ice pick,” that shows Jun’s murder and what appeared to be Magnotta eating some of the flesh. A narcissist to the core, Magnotta was apprehended by police while reading about himself at an internet cafe. A trial is set for Fall 2014.
So you thought lesbians couldn’t get in on the crazy, too? Tracey Ashfield (left) begs to differ. After getting into an intense argument about money in their U.K. home, Ashfield bludgeoned lover Wendy Thorpe to death with a concrete swan that was used to decorate the couple’s garden. She then dragged the body into the garden and attempted to hide it with an old sofa cover. The murder wasn’t the beginning of a long hunt for Ashfield, as she turned herself into police the following morning after cradling the body for the entire night. Her confession was accepted, and she was sentenced to life in prison, eligible for parole after a minimum of 13 years.
Perhaps it’s something in the water at those porn shoots that seems to make these guys more than a little…unstable. If anyone would like to test that theory and ask Timothy Bohan, it’s gonna be hard to reach him since he’s spending the rest of his life in prison in Colorado. After making his mark in classics like Never Been Touched using the stage name of “Marcus Allen,” Bohan moved on to escorting and shot former client J.P. Kelso in the head before robbing him. The two men are rumored to have had a relationship that turned romantic and had been seeing each other on a regular basis for a year at the time of Kelso’s death.
Ana Flores (left) and Belinda Espinoza were by all accounts madly in love, having been together in Houston, TX for over three years and recently engaged when things took a turn for the worse. According to police, Ana Flores called 911 during a domestic dispute with Espinoza, who retaliated by pulling out a gun and shooting Flores and then herself. Neighbors were shocked, but family members reported that Espinoza had called them threatening suicide just hours before the altercation.
So there you have it, folks. Love is great, but it ain’t all roses.
Some of those thorns can be sharp enough to kill.