Valentine’s Day is for lovers, but for the rest of us it’s a glaring reminder of our singledom. Don’t fret though, because you could’ve ended up like one of these five couples who pretty much loved each other to death. Read, digest, and maybe give a little thanks that you’ll be having that dinner for one tonight.
Michael Edwards (left) and John Edwards were one of the first gay couples married in the U.K., and they were destined to spend the rest of their lives together. Unfortunately, the whole “til death do you part” thing came sooner than expected. Michael broke John’s heart, literally, when he stabbed him in it after an argument over the heating bill. It turns out that the happy couple wasn’t so happy and was plagued by Michael’s penchant for domestic violence, something he’d been arrested for in the past before the two got together. Edwards was later sentenced to life in prison for the crime, and isn’t eligible for parole for at least 14 years.
As a gay porn star, cannibal and murderer, Luka Magnotta is definitely a triple threat of WTF. The baby-faced Canadian filmed himself torturing kittens and posted the video online before he moved onto humans, namely Chinese student Lin Jun. Jun was studying in Montreal when he met Magnotta and the two became romantically involved.
However, Magnotta decided to end it by murdering and dismembering Jun and mailing his body parts to various regional politicians. Police found a video of the murder, cheekily titled “1 lunatic, 1 ice pick,” that shows Jun’s murder and what appeared to be Magnotta eating some of the flesh. A narcissist to the core, Magnotta was apprehended by police while reading about himself at an internet cafe. A trial is set for Fall 2014.
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So you thought lesbians couldn’t get in on the crazy, too? Tracey Ashfield (left) begs to differ. After getting into an intense argument about money in their U.K. home, Ashfield bludgeoned lover Wendy Thorpe to death with a concrete swan that was used to decorate the couple’s garden. She then dragged the body into the garden and attempted to hide it with an old sofa cover. The murder wasn’t the beginning of a long hunt for Ashfield, as she turned herself into police the following morning after cradling the body for the entire night. Her confession was accepted, and she was sentenced to life in prison, eligible for parole after a minimum of 13 years.
Perhaps it’s something in the water at those porn shoots that seems to make these guys more than a little…unstable. If anyone would like to test that theory and ask Timothy Bohan, it’s gonna be hard to reach him since he’s spending the rest of his life in prison in Colorado. After making his mark in classics like Never Been Touched using the stage name of “Marcus Allen,” Bohan moved on to escorting and shot former client J.P. Kelso in the head before robbing him. The two men are rumored to have had a relationship that turned romantic and had been seeing each other on a regular basis for a year at the time of Kelso’s death.
Ana Flores (left) and Belinda Espinoza were by all accounts madly in love, having been together in Houston, TX for over three years and recently engaged when things took a turn for the worse. According to police, Ana Flores called 911 during a domestic dispute with Espinoza, who retaliated by pulling out a gun and shooting Flores and then herself. Neighbors were shocked, but family members reported that Espinoza had called them threatening suicide just hours before the altercation.
So there you have it, folks. Love is great, but it ain’t all roses.
Some of those thorns can be sharp enough to kill.
litper
stop featuring dykes here!
thenameismatt
This is a sad feature for Valentine’s day, or any other day for that matter. The blogger who came up with this probably needs a hug.
BJ McFrisky
Fourteen years for murdering someone in the U.K.? That’s what I’d call Dan White justice.
@litper: Whatchyoo got against the lesb’ns?
CleJoke
You forgot Renato Seabra. Model/rentboy kills sugar daddy and wears his testicles. Very romantic for V day.
BlackHouston
1. The UK must be crazy chill if Michael Edwards can kill his lover in cold blood and be eligible for parole after 14 years. WTF.
2. Luka Magnotta is psycho.
3. Tracy Ashfield is eligible for parole after a 13 year bid?
4. Timothy is a hot mess. Life in prison without parole is well deserved.
5. Belinda is wrong for taking Ana Flores out like that.
crowebobby
The course of true love never runs smooth.
Stache1
@litper: Thanks for the Misogynistic comment.
Stache1
“shot former client J.P. Kelso in the head before robbing him. The two men are rumored to have had a relationship that turned romantic and had been seeing each other on a regular basis for a year at the time of Kelso’s death.”
I’m a bit confused here. How could you be romantic with someone and then turn around and rob and kill them. Sounds like plain cold blooded murder for $ to me.
Kangol
@litper: Please, the misogyny isn’t cool.
To the article:
And then there’s Andrew Cunanan, who killed Gianni Versace.
And Jeffrey Dahmer, who killed countless men (will we ever know how many that monster murdered?).
Thankfully most relationships, straight or gay, don’t end in murder or violence of any sort, and many are happy, bumps and struggles included.
Happy Valentines Day!
mmedesevigne
@Stache1: At the time, it was said that he needed the money for his pregnant girlfriend. He also made himself obnoxious on his porn shoots by being vocally ‘straight’ and homophobic.
cmk2877
My friend/ex in college was murdered by the closeted cop he was having an affair with. They just did an episode of some show on ID about the case. It was a pretty crazy time in that town. Huge media circus during the trial.
Stache1
@mmedesevigne: So he was gay for pay and an asshole at that. Yeah, a real “romance” I’m sure. Then again if you only care about what’s on the outside and you have enough money I guess you can call it whatever you want.
DuMaurier
I guess Queerty figured Joe Orton would’ve left us scratching our heads going “Huh…?” Well, I guess they know their readership; at any rate, the only example here I’ve even vaguely heard of is the cannibal guy.
Ann Mason
There’s a difference between legitimate fact crime journalism and dirty laundry.
First, the unavoidable similarities: They both invade someone’s privacy, and they both deal with tragedy. They also have a potential for being hurtful to the survivors.
The difference between the two types of reporting are important, though. We can learn something from a responsible crime account. Serious journalists who take on those topics can enlighten us on the human condition and the way the law addresses tragedy.
The above article is not journalism. It’s sleazy entertainment which exploits misery, appeals to the readers’ voyeurism and offers nothing.
Sebizzar
@litper: I officially ban you from the gay community.
Sebizzar
@thenameismatt: I thought it was funny in an ironic way :S But, stories like these definitely worsen my fear of dating a murderer or psycho :/
MrEguy
Misandry isn’t cool, either.
Jackhoffsky
None of this is funny, especially the sick, twisted tale of Luka Magnotta. But the story headline of The Mail reads:
“Revealed: Victim of Canadian porn star cannibal is Chinese gay lover as police reveal ‘murderer’ is on the run in France… dressed as a woman”
THAT is a LOT of Springer in one sentence.
mmedesevigne
@guest4ever: The profession with the highest suicide rate is dentistry. The profession with the highest percentage of drug addicts is the medical profession. Would you care to make some sweeping generalizations about them, too, while you’re at it?
Respect4all
Why do we need to see this?
Respect4all
Everyone please flag guest4ever. He should be a guest for never.
inbama
Oh, you did it again, Queerty!
Don’t you remember all those furious posts because you committed “bisexual erasure” on that upstanding role model Luka Magnotta?
boring
Ashfield bludgeoned lover Wendy Thorpe to death with a concrete swan that was used to decorate the couple’s garden”
That is so John Waters/A Clockwork Orange, it hurts.
Curtispsf
@Jackhoffsky: Yes, all that was missing is that they were cousins, the paternity test and allegations of cheating.
Curtispsf
Oh yeah…I hope “Puka Magnolia’s” come hither stare served him well in prison with fans like Bubba Bukosky and Tiny (you didn’t need those front teeth, anyway) Toranado.
IcarusD
@BlackHouston: I’m not up on criminal justice law in the U.K., but in the U.S., at least, eligible for parole doesn’t necessarily mean that parole will be granted. Charles Manson has been eligible for parole since 1978. Doesn’t mean he’ll ever step outside of a prison. His next parole hearing won’t be until 2027, at which point, should he live so long, he’ll be 92 years old.
billforsyth
Whilst it is true that in both England and Scotland a ‘life’ sentence usually means 15 years .It does not follow that all of those convicted will either remain in prison for that time nor that they will be released after that time .Life prisoners on release are always on license and can be returned to prison at any time until they die.
Mykey
@litper: and what’s wrong with that, this is a queer site, right?
Pete
How could you write an article about gay uxocide and not mention the Joe Orton-Kenneth Halliwell murder/suicide?
Markajv
@litper: that’s so ducking rude.. Lesbians are an integral part of the Gay community but the fags don’t want them around.. Some of my best friends are gay women. Sounds like you have mommy issues.
jamessavik
of course str8 couples never murder