Love Spell Causes (Gay) Bar Fight

Oshun Orisha

Those sneaky Orishas. You ask them for the guy of your dreams to throw you around in bed and you end up being thrown across the bar. Or so goes the story of Angel, a homo devoted to the Santeria tradition who unsuccessfully cast a love spell to capture a guy’s attention. The Orishas don’t really like watching public displays of affection, as Angel says, “If I get to making out all hot and heavy with some boy on my couch, I always have to take it to the bedroom, so we don’t disrespect Yemaja.”

So we are unsure why he thought they would help him pick up some guy at a bar, but apparently they got extra pissed when he didn’t ask permission to use their name in the spell, even though he gave them some honey and oranges, which they enjoy.

Full disclaimer: We are superstitous and tend to believe stories like this.

Go read it and decide for yourself, but we think you’ll agree with us by the end that a pissed off Orisha and large crowds of drunk homos do not mix.

This Priest Is Fierce [AIANLFR]