He loves his girlfriend so much it hurts. In many ways, they have the ideal relationship — except for one minor detail: He really wants to perform oral sex on a guy.
“Nothing too unusual here,” he begins — hardly ever a good sign.
Writing into Reddit, the conflicted young man describes himself as “mostly straight, but bi-curious… I’ve really gotten obsessed with the idae of finding a man off Grindr or something to give oral sex to.”
“I am in a happy relationship with my girlfriend, so as much as the desire is to do this, I don’t think I could go through with it because I love her and don’t want to cheat.
However, I do jack off to gay porn sometimes, which she doesn’t know about. That’s as far as I would go I guess. Maybe if we break up in the future I will try some stuff out, but for now I think the guilt would get to me. Yet, I really, really want to do it.”
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Now he’s wondering whether he should broach the subject with his significant other:
“I guess if it got THAT much in my mind I would ask her,” he says, “but I reckon that would really weird her out. Not because she’s homophobic, but she has on reason to thin that we aren’t in a 100% happy, sexually fulfilling relationship. I guess harmless porn will have to do.
Anyone else been in this position?”
Needless to say, fellow Redditors have some very strong opinions about all this oral sex business, and they aren’t afraid to share them.
“Why not just talk to your girlfriend?” Linadaddy suggests — perhaps not so innocently.
“Say it’s something you want to try. I don’t think you will get away with the ‘I am not gay or bi’ routine, but your desire is only going to get worse.”
“I think you could certainly bring it up in conversation,” says hodlmkt.
“But you have to be careful not to frame it in a way that tells her you’re more interested in dick than her.
If you don’t think you can fight the urge, be honest with her and tell her what you think, and then make a decision based off what she says.”
“I would bring it up if I were you,” says pinup-girl.
Yeah, why not?
“It never hurts, and she might even be open for a threesome. The worst that she could do is say no or get upset. If you play your cards right she probably wouldn’t be upset for too long or get over it and be understanding. Honest communication is key.”
What advice would you give this man? Should he keep his fantasies private and special? Fess up to his ladylove? Call you immediately and go to town on your throbbing man-scabbard? Sound off in the comments below, eh?
RIGay
Been there, done that. Oh for f*ck sake, come out. Period.
Paco
He’s “obsessed” about it.
jayjay333
Why does Queerty even post these inane articles? So ridiculous.
Kieran
Maybe she could introduce him to her brother.
Record Man
I think I could help him.
Jack Meoff
Maybe he just wants to teach her how to do it properly
Luna1979
Not trying to be too graphic here, but maybe his gf could use a strap on. He could suck and play until he’s satisfied. Sometimes fantasies don’t work out well in real life. If he’s face to face with it, he might freak out. I’ve had the odd female fantasy over the years, but if one actually touched me I’d run a mile.
DCguy
That’s like saying that it’s all about the object. So if a straight guy likes breasts, by that logic, he would REALLY like a pig because they have multiple teats, or an Elephant because they have bigger ones.
The guy is at a MINIMUM a closeted bisexual. But more likely a closeted gay guy. The reason I say that is that plenty of bisexuals have happy relationships with one sex or the other, they aren’t obsessing with jumping to the other gender if they are truly bi. This guy sounds like he is leaning more to guys than women.
Donston
DCguy, I somewhat get what you’re saying, but you do have a somewhat narrow view of sexuality and sexual instincts. As I mentioned in my post, he could have attraction to and passion for penis but not a man. And therefore, he doesn’t need a man to fulfill those passions. He could have an oral fixation. And once again, he doesn’t need a man to fulfill those instincts.
The reality is is that if a singular body part is only thing you find attractive and arousing about a man and you have no romantic instincts towards men then there’s no way you’re ever gonna be satisfied living a “gay lifestyle”. He might need to date a trans-woman. But he does seem to want to do it specifically with guys, which does hint that he may be a very gay-leaning man deluding himself and desperately trying to hold on to hetero-normalcy and hetero dynamics.
But like the majority of these Reddit things there’s not enough details to suss anything real out. All we know is that he’s obsessed with getting some dick.
Donston
Some people, in fact many people, develop some attraction to, instinctual arousal for or even a passion or obsession for certain body parts but do not develop substantial attraction to and passion for the entirety of a gender, which often leads to confusion, self-denial (especially if the majority of your orientation is gay and you grow up having sex and relationships primarily with women), sexual megalomania, and very convoluted egos and desires.
Like a lot of these random Reddit people asking sex questions he doesn’t go into depth about his sexual attractions, his passions or his romantic instincts beyond saying he’s happy with his gf. He could very well be a hetero-dominant man who’s really into dick. He could be a gay or homo-dominant or gay-leaning man looking to hold on to hetero-normalcy. Whatever the case is he clearly has a pretty strong desire and it likely will go some place if he’s given the opportunity. So, he probably needs to be straight-forward now.
stevetalbert
Love the “the worst that coukd happen is she woukd say no and get upset”. Yeah. Go ahead and talk it out, if she doesnt like it she can break up with him. Lol.
Probably going to come to that anyway, what with wanting dick and all .
DCguy
Another article about a closet case.
StupidBoy
I think the Kinsey Report from the 60’s messed a bunch of us up, but also helped a bunch of us realize there is a spectrum of attraction. I personally don’t believe in “love” like the TV shows make us think of it. I believe it to be “what you are getting out of someone to fulfill your needs”. A rather cynical view, but also pragmatic. He can actually love his girlfriend, but also desire something…more…physically, like oral. I knew I was gay from the time I was an elementary school boy and found Julie’s brother much more attractive than any of the girls in my class, but it wasn’t sexual, it was just fascination. I didn’t actually have oral with another man until I was 21 years old. I’ve personally never been attracted to women in the least, but when I was in junior high, I had an infatuation with a couple of girls. When you layer emotional satisfaction over sexual satisfaction over fantasies, things become a prism of different emotions and attractions and desires. Your experience and desires are not his experiences and desire. I agree with the “talk to her about it” line of thinking…if she loves him, she will discuss it openly. I don’t agree with “well, he’s completely gay and should come out” line of thinking.