Lucas Copies Coulter?

If imitation is the highest form of flattery, what does that make plagiarism? We don’t know, but Michael Lucas probably does, because his Barack Obama bashing column has more than a few similarities with Ann Coulter’s “Throw Grandma Under A Bus,” which she published on March 19, two days before Lucas’ piece.

It’s really quite queer.

Let’s consider just some of the analogous analysis of Obama’s big race speech. First, Coulter: “[Obama] apparently believes we’re not talking enough about race. This is like hearing Britney Spears say we’re not talking enough about pop-tarts with substance-abuse problems.” Oh, that Coulter sure does have a wicked sense of timely satire!

Lucas seems to think so, at least: “To say that we do not talk about race enough is just like hearing Paris Hilton say that we’re not talking enough about dumb celebrities whose status has no substance.

Okay, okay, maybe that’s just a coincidence. Britney and Paris really do dominate the collective consciousness. It’s totally possible that Coulter and Lucas simply tapped into the same hole at the same time. But, wait, there’s more!

Neither Lucas, nor Coulter could contain their political analysis to just Obama. That simply wouldn’t be fair. There are so many other people worth discussing, like the three Johns: McCain, Edwards and Kerry. From Coulter’s column:

By now, the country has spent more time talking about race than John Kerry has talked about Vietnam, John McCain has talked about being a POW, John Edwards has talked about his dead son

Now, consider Lucas’ congruously constructed excerpt:

America talks more about race than John McCain talked about his time in Vietnamese captivity, John Edwards about his son, and John Kerry about his war record.

Wow. That’s – well, it’s pretty incredible. What are the odds of two people – two loudmouthed, repulsive people – would have such remarkably parallel thoughts? And only days apart! Incredible!

What’s that? You’re still not convinced that Lucas swiped some of Coulter’s material?
Well, both cracked the same joke that an Obama presidency will end all discussions of race in the United States.

From Coulter’s sarcastic, caustic cauldron: “To be fair, Obama hinted that we might have one way out: If we elect him president, then maybe, just maybe, we can stop talking about race.

Coulter’s clip sure does resemble this bit “by” Lucas: “He gives it you throughout the whole speech: give him the presidency, and only then maybe, just maybe, all talks about race will be over.

We sent these and other similar excerpts to Lucas for a comment, but we’ve yet to receive a comment. Hopefully he can get someone to pen something and shoot it over.

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  • CitizenGeek

    No one should take a pornography director seriously when it comes to issues of politics … so does Michael Lucas even bother writing political pieces?

    I read Ann Coulter’s column … and as much as I absolutely hate to say this, she has a point.

  • Mike

    The biggest thing Michael Lucas and Ann Coutler have in common is that they are both sensationalist media whores. By the way, Lucas is misinformed about Wright’s view on gays. Unlike many other ministers of his ilk, Wright spoke out against homophobia long before it was popular and used his church to educate about HIV/AIDS and offered compassion to those who suffer from it. Next time try a google search, Michael.

  • RJ

    Mr Lucas, You are BUSTED. You at least could have rearranged the sentences a little bit better. Shame.

  • IDNY

    Wait. I am confused. Tell me why again Michael Lucas is relevant… to ANYTHING? Why anyone would even give him a forum is beyond troubling to me.

  • wiseoldfool

    Lucas should stick to what he does best … porn.

  • -M-

    I think that Lucas is Coulter in his spare time! I mean, come on! Coulter looks like Lucas in drag! And that would explain their ‘like-mindedness’! You can’t plagiarise your own ideas… right? :P

  • M Shane

    I wouldn’t necessarily suspect plagarism> Look : (1) they are both some of the stupidest potatoe heads in the world.
    (2) What they said is irrelivant to anything. Why should the candidates be talking about one of the most disgraceful episodes in Americas history. The Vietnam War is a huge black mark (amonst all of our others) in American history. (3) Race is pertinent now.

    Who gets the MOST Stupid Award? Why shoud anyone give a fuck, it’s like asking which is the biggest turd in the toilet!

  • Jake

    And who cares if two people see the same shit happening in the world? Lets focus on Bush and his stupidity rather than a porn star

  • Darth Paul

    No. 5 has it. I’m through w/douche celebs trying to wax intellectual about anything (looking at YOU, Rosie O’Donnell.).

  • M Shane

    Jake: you are ever so correct: It’s a distraction so that peole will forget about the atrocities that are still happening and that will be in our noses if McCain wins because he has no intentionm of changing.

    A military historian, Andrew Bacevich referred to what is happening in the U.S as a “rolling coup” using 9/11 to dramatically incease the policing, survelance, detention, and war waging powers of the exexcutive branch; security, invasion, occupation and reconstruction were immediatly outsourced, handed to the private profiteers: running a privatized security state at home and abroad.
    This is scary and deserves all of our attention.

  • ggreen

    Why is Michael Lucas relevant? Why his Dick size of course. If he were hung like Will Clark, it would be Michael who? This Blog wouldn’t devote half the bandwidth to him if he weren’t hung and they weren’t size queens.

  • John


    “No one should take a pornography director seriously when it comes to issues of politics”

    I may not agree with Lucas’s sensationalist opinions about Barack or Islam BUT to say we shouldn’t take his opinions seriously is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in a long, long time.

    Well, yesterday actually.

    I can’t even comment your statement. It’s too irrational for words..

  • Gregoire

    Here here, I say keep on exposing this ridiculous self-promoting charlatan, but really, did you have to give him such a flattering, dated photo sans bovine-enhanced lips?

  • amvanman

    What gives with the obsession with this guy? It has become pathological. Who cares who he plagiarized from? Who cares that he even writes? Hes a porn actor that looks like Zoolander, Who cares that he even exists? Obviously you do a lot. Just please tell us why you are so obsessed with his behavior and then maybe we can understand why you are constantly posting about him.

  • citizengeekHATER

    citizengeek’s comments irked me. who in their right mind, let alone a geek’s, would SERIOUSLY care for the two-cents of a porno magnate? and to say ann quiffer has “a point” is reaching close to making donations to the republican party, which i’m sure this dude does. get a grip, you fundamentalist prick!

  • james_boston

    Exactly why is Queerty so obsessed with this common whore? I’m beginning to think that Queerty’s attacks on fish-lips is the equivalent of the 5 year old boy who is unable to express his crush on a 5 year old girl so he pulls on her pig-tails and calls her “doody face”. Queerty is just pulling on the whore’s pig-tails. Call Lucas up and offer him some money and I’m sure he’ll sleep with you (because he’s a whore, you know!) and stop abusing your readers with images and stories of this Russian cum-dump.

  • M Shane

    Beyond the obsession with Lucas, I can’t even imagine what would concern anyone with being a copy cat of such an imbecile as Coulter.

  • PalePhoenix

    Ditto on J. Boston’s initial remark. Why is the ‘our’ Larry Flynt? Every now and then, he says or does something [nonpornographic] that seems intelligent…but so does everybody else. Should we be grateful we’re not getting more words of putative wisdom from ChiChi LaRue? I’d sooner hear what RuPaul Charles had to say about Obama and his fellow contenders. Where has SHE been lately? Working better?

    Lucas irritates me, tho I think it’s congenitally impossible for him to do so quite as badly as Coultergeist. Unlike her, with whom I have thankfully never shared oxygen, I did pass Lucas on W. Houston St. one afternoon (I believe he has a ‘studio’ somewhere in the area). Let’s just say I did not get quite the generous once-over afforded by “classic pornstar Donnie Russo,” a few months earlier and a few blocks north.

    I think it’s just the overly pouty, cheek-sucking thing Lucas seems to have down pat. It makes him look less sultry, more verbissen (Yid., think ‘Frau Farbissina’).

  • Jonathan

    To #16 James_Boston:

    ..the best spot-on comment & brilliant laugh of the day!!

  • John

    To all the above..

    We know Lucas is ridiculous..

    But would you have this much emotion for someone who still thought what he said BUT was a Bank Manager??

    Insult his opinions NOT his profession..

    Unbearably judgmental.

  • Charley

    Michael Lucas is one of the most talented, creative filmmakers of all time, and while his films are few, virtually every one is a tribute to his genius. He came to this country pennyless from Russia, and saw an opportunity to do quality films where none existed before, and has contributed to great cinema history. I think Queerty recognizes this fact, and just can’t give credit where credit is due. Queerty continues a vendetta against Lucas, possibly because it will stir excitement to the blog just to mention the name Michael Lucas.

  • PalePhoenix

    “But would you have this much emotion for someone who still thought what he said BUT was a Bank Manager??”

    Yes. And despite the fact that few would would notice or care about a bank manager, you will not commonly find bank managers positioning themselves as social critics for a larger culture that they clearly find hypocritical. Bank managers tend to prefer the status quo…but let’s not fall all over people who DON’T prefer it, just because they want press and attention. The whole “penniless from Russia” thing is tedious. At least, my great-grandparents thought so.

    While I think Charley is auditioning for a role, above, please don’t mistake my remarks for “much emotion.” If I want to lie and say I don’t care what he does for a living, then I’ll be in good company, but if I’d prefer to mention that he’s using his ‘role’ to coincidentally mimic one of the most venal publicity whores in the Age of Modern Communications, then it’s not a slight against his profession. It’s just a slight.

  • Jaroslaw

    Michael might be a porn star and director but he is also a lawyer and speaks several languages. He is hardly unintelligent.

  • PalePhoenix

    Does everyone else know something I don’t, like he owns a controlling stake in Jossip, or something to that effect? I find all this fawning–over what is otherwise a meaningless confluence of egos, and not news–offputting and strange.

    PS: Both Google ad-lets below the reply window are promoting Ann Coulter now. “When context-based gets utterly clueless…”

  • sugarsmack

    Charley is just Michael Lucas posting under a pseudonym. I can just picture him sitting at an IKEA desk in some Manhattan loft, smoking a cigar and making that Zoolander face as he responds to the comments on Queerty. I always fastfoward through his scenes in his films because his dick looks like a turkey gizzard.

  • Mr C

    Well if he’s a lawyer maybe he needs to go and pratice law.
    Last I heard COLT studios and Chi-Chi LaRue bring in more money than he does.

    And his films are awful!

  • John


    Ok, thanks for your point. See you’re view but I’m still wary about some of the other posters. It just seems soo harsh against someone choosing to work in the sex industry?? An adult. It’s odd.

    There are worst things about this man as an individual, then as a porn star!? At least his self employed albeit a dick head of immense proportions.

  • PalePhoenix

    Some of the best self-employed people are dickheads, John.

    Whether I might make the leap to calling their dickheads ‘turkey gizzards’ is another matter, and highly unlikely. A moment’s amusing bitchiness can really undermine an otherwise astute observation, because people will focus on that, and not the rest of the comment.

    There’s not much value in being ‘wary’ of other posters–they’re not flying through the screen to castrate you–though I did find it UNUSUAL that so many jumped to his defense, and that the “Why is he discussed here so often?” query has never been answered. Maybe there IS no answer, or one of the primary editors merely has a taste for turkey and not just a head for dick.

  • Jaroslaw

    Hold on PalePhoenix- I don’t see very many people rushing to his defense – I only posted because I thought people were being unreasonably harsh not to mention seeming pretty judgemental about his being a porn star/director even though probably every gay man watches porn….

    I hate to say I haven’t read either column; I just have personally corresponded with Michael Lucas and he seems ok to me. Then again, it was e-mail so who knows.

  • PalePhoenix

    It’s difficult to reply when people feel captured by the “so many” portion of my remark, when it was really intended to be both ambiguous AND referential of other sources outside of Queerty (they exist, or so I’m told). It’s also a relative term. Threads here get very inconsistent attention; it’s hard to tell why people comment to the various posts, sometimes.

    I have read writing from both of them, and I have to say, it’s more than just this moment of accidental congruity–and not outright plagiarism, as has already been corrected–that seems a little odd. I doubt either is reading the other’s work. It’s just that when any author gets particularly strident in his or her rhetoric, they all begin to sound similar.

    I consume porn. I avoid hypocrisy. Neither go entirely as planned, often.

    Ann Coulter is a soulless twat. I wouldn’t say the same for Lucas, but if I did, it would have little to do with his method of income. If he’s so clever and multilingual, then one would think he’d learn how to avoid speaking “bullshit.” His parlance in porn is, if we must go there, equally overblown (all rights reserved, all puns intended).

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