Madge Death Threats!

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Following death threats from the Russian mob,Madonna, a little known singer from America, but with a dubious British accent, has been forced into hiding in her no doubt ramshackle Four Season’s suite in Moscow. Poor thing.
We have no idea why the Russian mafia wants Madonna’s head, but they must realize that if they’re successful in their mission, they’ll have another family on their asses: the gay mafia. And, trust us, you don’t want the gay mafia on your ass. They go in dry.

“Madonna Living In Fear Over Russian Mafia Death Threats” [Daily Mail]