Madonna and Bro Share Loads

Whoa! We knew Christopher Ciccone and sister Madonna were once close, but Ciccone, who recently released a tell-all book about the singer, takes to the blogosphere to dispense some information that’s definitely too much: when Madge used to have problems with her voice, she would call a man named Johnny and such his “snake,” says Ciccone. Then, when she was done, her brother would have a go.

Here’s a – cough, cough – taste:

After our eyes glue to Johnny’s huge snake, Madonna and I look at each other in amazement. I immediately rush over to it as my mouth waters.

“Sorry,” Madonna says and pushes me away. She then gulps Johnny’s snake like it’s some type of watermelon. Johnny sits down on a chair and I feel a little bit left out until he informs me to take off my clothes. I feel uncomfortable getting naked in front of my sister, but Madonna is so preoccupied that she barely notices.

“Come here!” Johnny says and I walk towards him. Johnny then proceeds to suck my snake like it’s a watermelon and both of us are moaning in harmony. At least it’s more harmonious than Madonna’s singing throughout the day. Suddenly, Johnny’s moans become louder until I can hear Madonna make gulping noises. Johnny doesn’t swallow, but for some reason, it doesn’t bother me. Right after Johnny leaves, Madonna proceeds to sing and she sounds wonderful.

Wait, wait – don’t you bite into watermelon, not suck?!