We didn’t get a chance to see Madonna‘s show last night at the Roseland, but our pal Matt Bell did – and he offers a mixed review, after the jump…
What do a 50 year old woman, a telephone company and a 35 minute show at the Roseland have that could cause gays from New York to California to pull every connection they have out of their rear ends, just so they can attend? When that 50 year old lady is Madonna, who cares about the rest?
Indeed, Madge, the supreme vagina, graced approximately 2000 adoring fans and well-connected friends of industry-types with her presence at the Roseland Ballroom last night. Simultaneously, Verizon customers the world over got to catch a glimpse of the pop-god from the screens on their V-cast phones. Suffice it to say, even if you don’t really like the big Madge, the combination of her highness, Verizon and the amazing venue of the Roseland Ballroom turned this into a media maelstrom of epic proportions. And who am I to ignore a spectacle?
So let’s get to it. If you didn’t get to see the hordes of Madonna-freaks (we really need a name for them…Fandonnas? Madgies? M’freaks? Gays?) waiting in lines that stretched from the Ballroom on 52nd street around to Broadway – check out Drowned Madonna. It was the usual suspects – tragic trannies, touristy gays, hyper young ladies, fat girls with too much make up and a sprinkling of lesbians.
Word has it that Madonna herself gave the line a glimpse of her forearm when she waved to them from her cushy limo sometime Tuesday morning. She’s so nice.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Unfortunately only 750 in that queue got in. The majority of the crowd was either press or a friend of a friend of a friend of someone working for Warner, Verizon or The Ballroom itself. Though wholly undemocratic, this nepotism did help keep the Madge-fire at less stalker-obsessive level.
Ms. Madge seemed to be in a a good mood and sincerely touched by the crowd, but it’s hard to be sure considering her face has been tucked and pulled back within an inch of its life. But I digress…
Here’s what you need to know: the excitement before the show was palpable with the DJ playing every song he could muster with the word “Candy” in it; Madge was totally on point for most of the show, although she forgot some of the words to Hung Up, but she may have been thrown off as she was playing it on the guitar. (That’s a lot of multitasking for a senior citizen.) She still screamed “FUCK” as she does at every show (I’ve been to all of them since Girlie Show); she put her vagina on Justin Timberlake in a creepy Harold and Maude moment, Justin got a louder applause than Madonna; her guitar skills have advanced to allow her to strum the Rolling Stone’s “Satisfaction;” and finally, it was a fucking awesome show. Say what you will about Madonna, but she’s a born entertainer.
While I loved the experience, I can’t help but wonder if a 50-year-old woman should still be considered a “pop star?” Can we really stomach listing to someone our mother’s age telling us her candy is hot? At what point do we, those who love and respect Madonna, force her to stop?
Mitchell Mullen
I’m 50. Fuck you.
hells kitchen guy
The UK Daily Mail had the same bitchy comments and the readers (rightly) said that if it had been a 50 yr old male rocker, no one would give a shit. Pure sexism.
Matt
I think the operative word is “Pop” star. ; ]
Xylitol
Good grief. What’s with the ageism? So shallow. Guess the gays don’t necessarily learn anything from their own discrimination.
The writer–how old is he, by the way–states it was a “fucking awesome show.” That’s all that counts. Would it have been more awesome if the artist were 25? Why?
Oh, wait. This is queerty. I’m proably being baited with purposefully provocative statements.
Never mind.
Xylitol
Um, pop means “popular” not “young.” Besides, if you’re older than 40, do you have to listen to Musak and jazz?
Brad
There is nothing new or interesting about Madonna anymore, other than her constantly changing look and cause du jour. I stopped listening to her music after “Ray of Light” was released as she simply fails to impress me. Perhaps her new CD is worth a listen since she was able to get Justin and Timbalake on board for the ride, but I’ll borrow a copy rather than throw another nickel at her.
Yasuri Yamileth
You gays are shallow! Maybe you should stop blogging or we should shoot you when you hit 50, how about that?
daryl d
What an amazing show last night. A+ performance with very few flaws. I don’t think the comments here were so ageist. I love Madonna but sometimes she becomes a parody of herself and her old “nasty” ways. It still works but she better know when to stop.
mister
Sheesh… why are all y’all such bitter betty’s? i call reverse ageism! just because the writer may be in his 20’s doesn’t mean that his opinion is less justified or that he should cater his writing to a certain group as to not hurt their feelings.
Matt
I’m ready for another Madonna Ballad album. We need a new “Rain”.
Marc
Amazing drivel!
You have attacked the fans that lined up, nice job!
You then attack her face!
You then attack the pre-show!
You then call her a senior citizen, (I think after 65, well where I live anyhow).
Then you bitch about her guitar work!
Then you say it was a fucking awesome show ??!
Then you think her candy is hot refers to her vagina?
Just blow it out your ass buddy, your “review” was disturbing, painful, and just stupid all around.
I watched the show on msn live and then again this morning, it was a hot, hot show!
I sure am glad I don’t know you, I have this feeling we wouldn’t get along.
Simon
Sorry, but where was the “review”? Just heard bitchy ageist comments–super-clever!
Mhenad
I wasn’t there. I watched part of the performance on YouTube. It was, eh, ok at best.
N E HOO…
I think she can do whatever she wants regardless of her age. It’s music. Why do you care how old she is? She still looks good. She looks better than any 50 year old, more than likely better than your mother. Nobody said that you had to die at 50. She can be sexy if she wants. Who gives a shit?
I’ll bet you’re the kind of person who worships Paris Hilton, that good for nothing bimbo. Even Britney Spears, once the hottest performer in my opinion, cannot outdo Madonna who is now 50.
Appreciate the talent and stamina if you won’t appreciate the music and the show.
afrolito
The reviewer is a fucking idiot.
I was there, and the show was amazing. Madonna rocked it, and looked great doing it.
So sick of the ageism directed at this woman. The obsession with her being 50(when she’s still 49) is both disturbing, and a sad commentary on a society OBSESSED with youth. Madonna is a great performer, and is in no way ready for a retirement village. Her body alone puts women (and men) half her age to shame. Madonna is the last great star, and when she decides to go, so goes an era.
Lay off the fucking snark, and enjoy some Hard Candy. Madonna aint goin nowhere, no time soon.
David Hauslaib, Queerty
I went last night. The show, like any Madonna performance, was raging with energy. Was it everything a fan would expect from a Madonna gig? Absolutely. For what was supposed to be a mere “promo show,” the production value was top notch, and Justin Timberlake was a huge added value; only the length of the show got cut short because of its nature. But otherwise, I didn’t find a single person complaining.
Z.
HER NEW IS AMAZINNNGGGG!
http://www.ilovezeren.com
Maverick69
I watched the show last night and kept thinking to myself, 2 numbers and I’m down for the count.
At that, I’m 39 and in shape.
btw; THE SHOW FUCKIN’ ROCKED !!!!
sugarsmack
I watched the show online and although it had some cringey moments, overall I thought it was pretty awesome. There’s your mixed review unlike the snarky and lame self-love-fest posted above. When will people stop writing about “hot topics” as an excuse to indulge everyone in their witty writing? You suck.
lewis
Lol, I watched it online, and my gosh was it crap! I don’t care how old she is, she’s an embarrassment.
I’m just glad that 1-it was free, 2-it didn’t last long.
Rob Moore
Sonny boy, I saw Led Zeppelin in 1973 in a stadium. That defined awesome. The guy sitting next to me offered to share his joint with me as well as his bottle of Jack Daniel, but I declined the Jack. An hour later, he puked, but I was too buzzed to care. My date was a girl who sat behind me in English Lit. She disapproved of the whole thing, which is when I learned she was a Believer. I guess the couple out on the field who began to fuck under a blanket really blew her away. Thankfully, I had no interest in sleeping with her.
I saw the Who a few months later. Another awesome show, except I wrecked my car on the way when a woman ran a stop sign. I was actually not driving since my best friend was driving because I was rolling the joints for the concert. After the wreck but before we got out of the car, she told me she didn’t have a driver’s license. I shoved the baggy down my pants and exited out the driver’s side so in the confusion and the pouring rain everyone just assumed I was the driver.
The most AWESOME performance I ever saw was Pink Floyd in 1975, again, in a stadium. That was incredible, shit, it was beyond incredible. Maybe the beyond part came from the fact that we were smoking some really killer weed.
Madonna just never worked for me. She has almost no musical talent but was lucky enough to appear during the MTV phenomenon. In her early stuff, she had this squeaky, nasally voice that just made me cringe. When she brought her voice into a more natural range, she was tolerable.
Young whippersnappers just don’t know good music.
spunkbox
I was at the show, she totally rocked honey. What sucked was the NASTY, bitter security guards and totally obnoxious NYPD.
Once inside it was fab despite the drunken Z-100 crowd and the jerks who smoked ciggies in the club, gross.
But yo, Madonna was fierce, she just was, and I had given up on her sometime around the ‘Music’ album. The songs from Hard Candy were sooooo much better live than on the CD, really everyone there was fucking jamming out. WHO CARES IF SHE’S (almost) 50??? That just makes it even more amazing that she looks great and pulled it off. Hello, she’s an entertainer, not a diplomat or scientist,this is what she does, and she did it, for 35 solid ass shaking minutes.
Marc
Rob Moore you are a funny guy.
Sounds like your taste in music is a bit more Rock than Pop which is great!
I love some LZ sometimes, not much of a Who or PF fan, but then I’m more of a fan of pop.
Get it ?
Deschanel
“Indeed, Madge, the supreme vagina,”.. ugh, are you kidding me?
I really should’ve stopped there. This review is meanspirited and just badly written. Don’t know why the writer even bothered. To brag he was there?
frankye7
Madonna is awesome!
KPB
I can’t wait until the bitch is 60 and you suckers are still trying to knock her down. How sad that you can’t find some sort of respect for a woman that has as much success as she does or simply give her props for the joy she brings to so many. Clearly, any hatred presented on this site or any other is a refelction of you and not of her. I have always loved and WILL always love that Madonna carries on and makes zero apologies to anyone for what she does.
To Rob who posted about LZ. Yes, they are fantastic. Probably in my Top 10 groups of all time. You’re right, she’s not them. And they are not her either. But to say that she has no musical talent is a joke. One does not get by for 25 years on no talent. It’s impossible. She’s been accused of making it by on the talent of producers but, please, someone explain to me, if that’s the case, why doesn’t everyone just sustain 25 years of work by doing the same thing? Clearly, she brings plenty to the table apart from fantastic producers.
Bruiser
I can’t wait for Queerty to fold so idiots like Matt Bell have no forum to whine. You got to see an icon, for free, and all you can do is criticize every single thing about it. You’re sure to win a Pulitzer.
Trick
What is with people thinking you’re supposed to just die and have nothing sexy about you as you approach 50??!?! You’ll change your tune when, and if you’re lucky enough, to get there. God knows you won’t look near as good as her. And, if she did have some work done, who cares about that?!?! Sheesh, get a life! Her body is rockin! She looks great and the album is a lot of fun! So, suck it! 😉
EdWoody
I heart Matt Bell.
I do not heart Madonna.
KPB
Why, Ed? They both dance in their underwear.
LacroixSweetie
Do some of you seriously believe that Britney is more of a “born” entertainer than La Ciccone Ritchie? Britney is 26. At 26, Madge had 2 huge albums, The Virgin Tour was starting, and the most amazing pop songs ever (yes, I did say that). Britney, on the other hand, has done nothing but make a career out of being a bad mom to her boys, as well as complete trainwreck. Sad, yes. But again, she did no promotion for Blackout while Madge, at almost 50, still makes the ’rounds. Britney has the paparazzi to thank for her “career”. I don’t hate her, but I do feel sorry for her. Who would pay to see her concert, unless drunk and willing to laugh at someone with severe issues? She’s only now starting to semi-recover. Madge never (not that we heard) had issues with drugs, only men. And I think that men are a much better drug 🙂
Matt
Hey KPB – It’s Matt Bell – Actually, we both USED to dance in our underwear. Just as my burgeoning bald spot isn’t so sexy ontop of a bar, I don’t think her Depends would look hot in a G-string. I KID!! Calm down people – I’m not some raging sexist, ageist asshole. Though I stand by everything I said, I was just a hungover asshole when I wrote this and I have a very dry sense of humor, which apparently flew past most of you super sensative ones. I love Madonna – why else would I have spent over a thousand dollars on going to see her every tour since 1992? And no – I don’t want to hear Madonna tell me her candy is hot and her sugar is raw, or whatever – she’s a much smarter lady than that and it’s belittling to herself. But hold on to your panties and wait till my Dolly Pardon review comes out. Just kidding.
KPB
Don’t worry, Matt. I was kidding, too. And don’t sell yourself short. Some guys find bald spots hot, myself included. On that note, don’t sell Madonna short either just because she’s 50. She’s many a year away from having to wear depends. And even when she does, I hope the bitch rocks a pair of D&G’s. That’s what I love about her. She makes people squirm. Some would say that’s not a good thing. I think it’s hilarious. I love to see people get all upset that an almost 50 year old woman wants to show her cooch. Everyone gets so bent out of shape (see countless posts above from people that have zero sense of humor) And that’s been her game since the beginning. Pushing the limits of what is acceptable. Thank God for it. They said she should call it quits at 40. Now it’s 50. I hope we’re having this argument at 80. And I hope you’ll reconsider dancing in your underwear again! 😉
Justin
Fuck you. That is pure sexism. No one cares about 100 year old Jagger belting out his tunes! I hope she’s still telling us to taste her candy when she’s 75!!!
jason
As much as I love Madonna, I had to laugh out loud imagining my my mom discussing or singing about her hot “candy shop”! My mom’s new name is “R-Bolla” (Robyn).
Franco
This is yet another reminder of how ageism is alive and well in the gay community. What does her age, or the sly insinuation that she’s had work done have anything to do with anything?
I don’t care how fucking old she is, she’s talented. She can talk about her 50 year old candy until she’s blue in the face, you’re just going to have to get used to it. You can also always turn the music off.
I’m tired of the notion that you can only be sexy if you’re in your twenties. Or it’s okay to negatively refer to people as senior citizens. I remind you that one day you too will be older, and I hope someone writes a review based entirely on how old you are.
scott
she’s 49.
BogusMadonna50
It’s a fun article, considering everything Madonna does is always at someone else’s expense. “I’m a pimp!” she says in her most lady-like way. So, isn’t it GREAT that Madonna is almost 50? Isn’t that what it’s REALLY all about? Don’t we all totally worship and idolize her for everything she is doing at 50??? Never ceases to be fascinating, isn’t she? Performing in NY, putting people there out of their homes with her real-estate? She SHOULD be dedicating songs to the fans that were sleeping in the streets! Don’t ya ever feel just like Guy Ritchie, sitting at home watching her dry-hump Justin around the stage? Don’t you wish you could get some of THAT?
Won’t it be great the day AFTER she’s done turning 50?!?!
THEN maybe her media will hopefully just shut-up… (But especially her!) ; )
Gregoire
If Mick Jagger and Bono began producing music that sounded like Panic At The Disco!, then they would be deserved of scorn. But they make music that’s age-appropriate and songs that benefit from their age and experience.
Madonna made a Nelly Furtado album. Although she is the queen of transformation, Hard Candy feels more artificial than her usual shifts in style. I’m not a big fan of it because I feel like she’s guest starring on her own release.
In fact, you finally get the Madonna we know and love in the last two songs on the album ‘Devil Won’t Recognize You’ and ‘Voices’ — songs that feel sexy and emotive and feel like sentiments that are actually coming from her.
Its not ridiculous that Madonna is an older pop star. Its ridiculous that on Hard Candy, she often seems embarrassed of her age as well.
scott
embarassment is ridiculous? what would any of us do in her shoes? oh, we haven’t etched ourselves indelibly into the annals of fame, so we’ll never know, huh?
Michael
Only in the superficial world of “pop”. Just check out Celia Cruz to see how old you can be and still be a great performer.