phone-free experience

Madonna, notorious for texting at other people’s shows, bans all cellphones from her own

Madonnna making a face

Madonna is set to kick of her Madame X Tour in just a few days and the pop legend is instituting a new policy for every single one of her shows: NO PHONES ALLOWED! NO EXCEPTIONS!

Ticket holders received a bossy memo this week saying the show will be a “phone-free experience.”

“Use of cellphones, smart watches, smart accessories, cameras or recording devices will not be permitted in the performance space,” the memo orders.

Fans will be required to keep their devices in secured Yondr cases that will be kept outside of the theater and can be picked up after the concert had ended.

We’re sure that’s not going to be chaotic at all. A mad rush of exhausted Madonna fans trampling over one another as they race to get their cell phones the moment she exits the stage.

As for mobile ticket holders, they won’t be able to access their tickets after they are initially scanned to get into the venue.

“After the ticket scanning process, all phones and smart watches will be secured in Yondr cases that will be opened at the end of the event,” the memo reads.

So if you forget your seat number, too bad! We’re sure that’s also not going to be chaotic at all. A bunch of excited Madonna fans trying to remember off the top of their heads where they’re seated.

The memo goes on to say that anyone who needs to make a call or send a text during the show must go to the designated “Phone Use Area” and they will have to put their phones back in the Yondr cases before returning to their seats.

People caught using their phones during the show will be kicked out. No exceptions!

The irony here, of course, is that Madonna herself is notorious for bringing her phone to Broadway shows, comedy shows, concerts, etc. and texting the entire time, ignoring cellphone policies and generally not giving a damn about anyone else’s experience.

Earlier this year, she was spotted with her phone out at Dave Chappelle concert, which she used throughout the performance before being “whisked away by security” once the show ended.

In 2015, she pissed off Hamilton creator Lin-Manuel Miranda and star Jonathan Groff when she texted throughout the entire first act.

“That bitch was on her phone,” Groff said afterwards. “You couldn’t miss it from the stage. It was a black void of the audience in front of us and her face there perfectly lit by the light of her iPhone through three-quarters of the show.”

And in 2013, she was banned from an entire movie theater chain for texting during a New York Film Festival screening of “12 Years a Slave.”

Related: Madonna just screwed over her biggest fans