View this post on Instagram
Madonna, it seems, is a size queen. At least, that’s what she’s informed her British fans.
The singer’s Madame X tour has reached London this week – much to the relief of ticket holders. The 61-year-old has been plagued with health problems during the tour, leading to ten dates being cancelled.
This included the first of her 14 nights at the London Palladium, but she bounced back on Wednesday evening.
During part of the Madame X show, Madonna, 61, takes a break from singing to enjoy some banter with the audience. For her first London show, it turned decidedly lewd.
Related: Madonna posts cryptic message on social media following yet another concert cancellation
“What do you call a man with a small penis?” the singer asked the audience. “The answer is, I wouldn’t f**king know. I’ve never been with a guy with a small d**k. You know size matters, don’t pretend that it doesn’t!”
Madonna’s past lovers include husbands Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie, actor Warren Beatty, singer Vanilla Ice and model Tony Ward. She’s rumored to be currently dating one of her backing dancers, Ahlamalik Williams, 25.
One might ask – if she’s never had a lover with a small dick – how she would know that size matters, but let’s not analyze things too much…
It wasn’t the evening’s only moment of sexual innuendo. At another point in the show, she asked for a chair to be brought out to the stage so she could sit down.
“Usually I kneel for about 20 minutes and that’s fine. I’m good at it, so I’ve been told.” she quipped.
Demonstrating she knows her audience well, she also joked about trawling Grindr when she needs to find herself a new assistant.
After grabbing a beer from one audience member, she said, “There you go, we have just shared STDs.”
She also referred to the fact that when she married former husband Ritchie and relocated to England, her accent changed – something she didn’t realize at the time.
“I didn’t know what anyone was talking about until I heard old interviews of myself. And then I was horrified and flabbergasted. Why did you let me do that to myself?
“It’s all Guy Ritchie’s fault. He made me to it.”
The show received generally positive reviews. The Independent called it an “eyeball-twisting audiovisual assault with more action than a Marvel movie.” PinkNews said the “incredible” show “lived up to the hype.”
Related: A Madonna fan is suing her for starting her concerts late
Besides the quality of the performance, fans were also relieved the singer turned up on time. Some attendees at previous shows have complained that she has hit the stage over two hours late on some occasions, leading one disgruntled fan to recently attempt to sue the singer.
In London, the performance began just 20 minutes after the advertised show time. She told the audience she was under a curfew: Westminster council, which oversees the area where the Palladium’s located, warned her that if she went beyond 11pm, she’d be fined.
Other venues may wish to take note!
Gabby
I think it so interesting that people are so vocal about giving her such a hard time. Scrolling any comment section pertaining to her is odd to read the negative things that are said about her. What I find cool is that after almost 40 years of just continuously working and constantly being blown off, she is getting the best reviews she has ever received for this tour. Even if you do not listen to her music, you can’t deny that she has built the best life for herself and her children.
P.S. This blog is terrible to her!
cliche guevara
You kind of answered your own question. I have never been a fan of Madonna’s music but music is subjective so I’m not going to slag it off for not being my thing. As you point out, she has been incredibly successful and incredibly adept at marketing herself. Part of that brand has been controversy. She uses controversy very effectively and that by default will get some group that just hates her. Make no mistake, she wants the people that publicly deride her they are totally an asset. Once they stop showing up then the press will also start to lose interest.
DanTaylor
It’s clickbait. The authors are huge Madonna fans and post under Facebook groups. They just know that bashing her, but not outwardly so, leads to a lot of clicks so the trolls can come in, comment, refer there friends, thus more clicks, more advertising revenue.
ScottOnEarth
She’s actually not getting “the best reviews she has ever received for this tour.” Her other tours were flawless and received universal high-praise. I’ve read many mixed reviews about the Madame X tour but I’m sure it’s amazing because there’s no better liver performer than Madonna. She was born for the stage; however, the real news here is that she was on-time for this show. She is routinely 1-3 hours late which is beyond disrespectful to the ticket buyers.
rustyiam
Love a lot of her music but her potty mouth at 61 just comes off as creepy and boring! Now if she said something like I love Trump now that would be truly shocking !
Paco
She is becoming old Mae West.
DanTaylor
She’s done this joke every night. It fits the snow. For those who accuse her of not having a sense of humor, they are certainly proven wrong.
ScottOnEarth
What does her age have to do with it? I’m not her age but, clearly, people can be sexual at any age. Don’t be so ageist and open your mind.
RIGay
Sounds like she’s embracing the ravages of old age just fine.
Karrnal
Tony Ward’s penis is known commodity. It’s a very nice penis. But it’s nowhere near large. Madonna’s just BSing her audience. As usual.
lukastyle
its actually small
Cam
“”In London, the performance began just 20 minutes after the advertised show time. She told the audience she was under a curfew: Westminster council, which oversees the area where the Palladium’s located, warned her that if she went beyond 11pm, she’d be fined.””
—————————–
So in other words, when being on time would be nice for her audience she couldn’t care less, but when being late will cost her money…suddenly she has no problem being on time.
C_Alan
Given her ingratiating instincts I need to share what Guy Ritchie said about her: “Making love to Madonna ‘was like cuddling a piece of gristle’
justgeo
Could it be a case of STRETCHED OUT for over use?
lukastyle
I love him but Tony Ward is far from hung
chase_boston
she is talking how her Gangsta-Paradise in cult membership that can bully via, gangstalking similar to what Scientology or any other Reilgious group for that matter and their minions (in both duality – the cowboys and unicorns – one hurts you the other makes you feel “ok” again) do As long as you go to her church for mass for the assess that follow and pay to glorify the Guru …. And Love is not Pretending. kiss kiss
radiooutmike
Oh Madge.
You’re the reason guys with smaller dicks grow up seeing themselves as lesser and worthless…
rock9221
This is a woman who mocked her teen age sons ‘lack of sausage’ on social media – no wonder he did not want to live with her. She is long past her sell date. She’s a tour away from being a Mae West tribute show focusing on Mae’s life as an 80 year old.
truthseeker
She also used the n-word in a hashtag to describe her black son
She used to be the top touring artist but now with her fake knee injury because she doesn’t feel like showing up, she’s become a joke
Joshooeerr
As Bette Midler once said of Madonna: “Pity the poor soul who has to rinse out THAT lingerie!”
MrMichaelJ
Size is just about as important as to how many hit records you’ve had in the past 20 years.
winemaker
Old news! Like really who gives a ripe rats ass and who cares about madonna? Move on, more important stuff to discuss other than this ex pat who thought the good ole USA wasn’t good enough for her. BTW: Mae West had more class albeit raunchy.
GayEGO
Maybe size matters to Madonna, but not to me. In fact large penises are harder to deal with as they stretch your hole too much!
Chevelter
Granny needs ’em huge because she’s all stretched out down there.
Jerry
I love Madonna but I’m not in love with her any longer. Thank you for all the fun times back in the day. I hope she can survive without my fan support. LOL I have a big dick and I’ve been with guys with all sizes of dicks and I don’t think size matters, it just feels different, it depends on who’s connected to the dick and the energy.
Oranos
Did she actually say that? And does she ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT? Astounding. She projects herself onto everyone else, and believes that what SHE thinks, everyone else does.
C’mon she didn’t truly say that, did she? This is a joke, right?