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‘Magic Mike’ director says there’s *gasp* no nudity in latest movie and Gay Twitter™ is absolutely losing it

We hate to be the bearers of bad news, but it’s recently come to our attention that the upcoming Magic Mike’s Last Dance—you know, the latest in the trilogy about male strippers—will not feature any nudity. None!

“Not even a thong,” says director Steven Soderbergh. *GASP*

We know, we know; we’re furious, too! Please don’t shoot the messenger.

This shocking revelation came out of a Rolling Stone interview, in which the prolific filmmaker—who is known for sexy movies like Out Of Sight and Sex, Lies, And Videotape—touches on the state of sex in cinema.

“To me, it’s about sexy. It’s not about the sex, per se, and whether the movie is explicit,” Soderbergh shares. “There’s no nudity in Out of Sight. There’s no nudity in Magic Mike’s Last Dance. There’s not even a thong. And yet, it was our desire to make a sexy movie.”

While we don’t doubt you can make a sexy movie without sex, how are you about to make a male stripper movie without men taking their clothes off?

“What’s sexy is intimacy and genuine emotion,” the director adds. “Something that feels alive, and electric, and has the potential for vulnerability. That can be sexy.”

Okay, fair enough. And we really have to give Soderbergh some credit; his movies—and especially the Magic Mike franchise—always surprise us.

For example, the original 2012 movie sold itself as a rollicking good time, loosely inspired by Channing Tatum‘s own past as an exotic dancer. And while it was that, it was also a pretty serious cautionary tale about greed and an indictment of capitalism. Sure!

The 2015 sequel, Magic Mike XXL, on the other hand, was a proper buddy road trip movie all about indulging in pleasure and having a good time. (For the record, that film was directed by Gregory Jacobs, although Soderbergh remained very involved in the filmmaking.)

That’s all to say, we don’t quite know what to expect from Last Dance, even though the logline tells us it concerns itself with Channing’s Mike following a wealthy socialite (Salma Hayek, who is always welcome on our screens) to London after she “lures him with an offer he can’t refuse.” Wait… that does sound sexy.

In the same interview, Soderbergh talks about Last Dance putting the emphasis on female desire, which apparently comes through in the movie’s opening dance number: A steamy tête-à-tête between Tatum and Hayek. The scene has been tantalizingly teased in an early preview clip online:

Alright, we’re intrigued… now when does Channing start shaking it to the tune of “Pony” again?

Anyway, Soderbergh’s assertion that there will be “no nudity” in Magic Mike’s Last Dance feels like a bit of anti-promo. Dude, the movie hits theaters this week—don’t you want people to go see it?

As his now infamous “not even a thong” comment makes headlines across the internet, the male stripper-appreciating community of Twitter is up in arms, shaking their fists to the skies shouting, “What is even the point of this movie then???”

Here are just a few of our favorite reactions to the sad, sad news:

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