Malibu Family Didn’t Get Gay Memo

Malibu has long been a bastion for the bent boys. Unfortunately some disgruntled diners were caught unaware: they found Tori & Dean: Inn Love producer John Hill and his gay pals’ PDA a bit distasteful. Hill recalls:

A woman sitting nearby with her husband and children became so grossed-out at the sight of us holding hands with our boyfriends that she asked the waitress to move them to another table. Unable to re-seat the bigot and her family, the waitress tried to calm the beast down (she had ugly hair), but Mommy Intolerance was so sickened by the fact that adult homosexual men would want to hold hands in public that she boxed up her heaps of Greek food and left in a huff. Clearly, seeing gay people isn’t what she expected when going to a restaurant in MALIBU (dumbass).

So did Mr. Hill cope with the family’s frustration? He offers many sincere apologies, including “Sorry that we ordered k-bobs; looking back, they do look like weeners, which is not appropriate.”

You should be more sorry for misspelling “wiener,” Mr. Hill. More often than not, “weener” means “idiotic doofus”. “Wiener,” however, always means penis. Or a hot dog. Regardless, the entire situation sounds like the most traumatic thing in the entire world. We’ll start a fund and, possibly, attempt to get a legislative bill named for you, you hot dog, you.