How can you tell Jerad Kluting’s Louis Vuitton bag isn’t a knockoff?
Well, here’s one solid giveaway: He was willing to risk his life to hold onto his prized possession.
Kluting was walking down Riley Street in Holland Township, Michigan, at around 5 p.m., minding his own business, when a 21-year-old man approached him and demanded the bag.
Showing he meant business, the mugger fired at least three shots from a handgun. Kluting later said he thought the first two were warnings, but that the third was meant to hit him.
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“It happened very fast. In one motion he took the gun out of his waist belt and with the other hand put up a bandana over his mouth and pointed, was like, ‘Give me your bag,’” Kluting explained to local NBC station WCMH. “I was like, ‘You’re not getting my Louis Vuitton.’ I worked very hard for this and this bag I’ve had forever and it means a lot to me. I wasn’t about ready to relinquish it to some thug that was going to demand it from me.”
Kluting added that the particular design he totes is no longer in production.
“I paid $1,700 for it or thereabouts. … I love Louis Vuitton and I saw this bag long before I could buy it and I saved up my money to buy it,” Kluting continued. “It means a lot to me. … It represents me. I wasn’t about to relinquish my personal property.”
It goes without saying that putting your life on the line for any material object is ill-advised, but as Kluting put it:
“As my grandmother would say, if you’re born to hang, you’ll never drown.”
He says the bag has even deeper meaning for him now.
“I got my bag,” Kluting said. “He can pry it out of my cold dead hands.
ShowMeGuy
Unicorn up.
The loser mugger doesn’t have the class to appreciate such a fine work of art, anyway.
tnguy
Thank God that there are people like this to drive consumer spending in the economy; if we all had a positive savings rate, the economy would sputter out.
crowebobby
“As my grandmother would say, if you’re born to hang, you’ll never drown.” Never heard this one. Worth today’s visit to Advocate and Queerty.
crowebobby
I’d love to find a good, practical, realistic self-defence guide for anyone any age. (9 times out of 10, you’ll miss when trying to kick someone in the balls or find yourself up against that one guy in a million who can ignore the pain; knife someone and you’re much more likely to do time than they are.) I have escaped being brutally mugged on too many occasions for me to count — I worked in night club reviews that got off at 2 p.m. and was a compulsive cruiser. I was big and could look confident, but I was the farthest thing possible from a fighter, yet more than once I heard one of 2 or 3 guys mutter: “He’s big . . . ” Not that they wouldn’t have taken me on if I’d stopped or said anything, but all things being equal they preferred to just wait for the next gay guy. Closest miss was insisting a gay club let me out the door they were barring from what I thought was a bunch of guys waiting to get in instead of a bunch of thugs bent on breaking up the place. Only once I was out and walking through the crowd and heard one guy say (in French as this was in Paris) “He must be a cop” did I realize what the real situation was. I guess God really does protect drunks and fools.
Godzilla
This reminds me of the time that a gay man managed to defend himself from a gay bash in Atlanta. A bunch of teens thought that as a queer he’d be an easy target. They thought wrong…
WindsorOntario
Where’s the picture or description of the suspect? That would really help the community to be on the lookout for this person.
Kangol
Come on, Queerty. Holland Township is in Michigan, not Missouri. If you go to the NBC article you took this from, in the first line it clearly says “MI,” which is Michigan, not Missouri (“MO”). But another giveaway is that western TV and radio stations use a K to start their call letters, while eastern ones use a W. As for the guy, I’m glad he didn’t lose his life over a fancy accessory.
PinkoOfTheGange
Just to be nit picky because I am in a crappy mood 🙂
There are a few “W” tv stations in MO. They grew out of radio stations that where started prior to the moving of the K/W line from the line that divided the Central and Mountain time zones (basically) to the Mississippi River in 1923.
Thanks, being a know it all helps my mood every once in a while =).
But back to the story.. As Bishop Mitt told us: those trees are the green hues that distinguish MI trees from MO trees.
RodanGodzilla
A ‘man’ risked his life for a purse. Is this something we’re supposed to be proud of? Don’t get me wrong I’m glad he defended himself but embarrassed it was over a stupid purse or that he spent $1700 for a purse in the first place. You can learn how to defend yourself in a gay bash by going here here
Kangol
Great point, Pink, about the Ws and Ks. I remember reading this years ago when I was a kid, and then started to notice how it had become standard. It makes total sense that there were some Missouri stations that had W call letters, though.
Feel better, and thanks again!
davio2
why do queens pay $1700 for a leather bag with logos all over it? Having paid $$ for that bag makes this queen the victim regardless of whether he got shot or not.
DCguy
Did I miss something? How did he keep it? Did the guy try to grab it and this guy pulled it back, or did the guy run off after the guy said he wouldn’t give it up?
barkomatic
There seems to be more hate toward the *victim* who has every right to retain his property than the thief who tried to take it. Anyway, it’s a hilarious story regardless and no different than the regular stories about granny’s beating up muggers that we hear about. I wonder if the thief was gay himself–since he recognized the value of that bag.
Curtispsf
This is just a simple case of a Queen protecting her royal accessories. Long Live the Queen. This time. /|\.
It makes me wonder how someone could idolize a brand when during World War II, Louis Vuitton collaborated with the Nazis during the German occupation of France. He made millions off his collaboration with the Vichy French government. And that little thing called the “Holocaust” probably would never have happened if the victims just learned to properly “accessorize”. Viva La LV !
Heywood Jablowme
“Gimme your Manolo Blahniks!” LOL.
Then call Cynthia Nixon.
chris33133
This guy deserves 3 snaps in Z formation. Awesome!!!!
nitejonboy
Someday he’s gonna get his ass kicked royally.
Godzilla
This reminds me of the time that a gay man managed to defend himself from a gay bash in Atlanta. A bunch of teens thought that as a queer he’d be an easy target. They thought wrong…