love is a battlefield

Man completely distraught over guy he’s been chatting with who refuses to meet up

A U.K. man says he’s been chatting with a guy online who won’t meet up with him, but who is always online looking for other dudes to hook up with. Now, he wants answers.

“I am 27 and open about being gay. He is 35 but very protective of his sexuality, ” the man explains to advice columnist Diedre Sanders in a letter. “We’ve had a friends-based relationship online for a year.”

“He told me he didn’t want anything sexual, which is fine by me. I just want to meet him and his cute little French bulldog–he posts lots of photos–but there is always a reason why he can’t see me.”

And here’s where things get irksome.

“He posted about looking for fun when he went to Frankfurt and Milan on business trips recently,” the man continues.

He wonders: “How can he look for completely random people in a foreign country for sex acts yet not want to see me?”

In her response, Diedre tells the man he needs to stop kidding himself.

“If you really want just to be friends, then his sexual adventures when he is abroad shouldn’t bother you,” she writes. “I think you feel so hurt because you want to be more than friends.”

“Be honest with yourself first, then tackle him if you still think it is appropriate.”

She concludes with a heavy dose of reality: “But if he’s hiding his sexual identity at home, he may never be more than a distant friend for you.”

What advice would you give this guy? Share your pearls of wisdom in the comments section below.