What do you do when you discover old homemade masturbation videos of your boyfriend on XTube? Thatās what one young man wants to know, so heās written to advice columnistĀ Mallory Ortberg, akaĀ Dear Prudence, for help.
āI have been dating a terrific guy, āJason,ā for about five months now,ā the letter begins. āHeās everything Iāve been looking for but thereās a problem: He has an Xtube page up.ā
Oh, but it gets worse.
Related:Ā Manās Life Ruined By Child Porn Charges; Turns Out Police Just Donāt Know What A Twink Is
āI introduced him to my friend āBob,ā who is an avid watcher of online porn,ā the letter continues. āBob later told me about the page and sent me the link to it.ā
āBasically itās nine videos of Jason masturbating with his face showing in a few of them,ā the man explains. āI was mortified seeing the videos and cried privately. I donāt know what to do.ā
The videos were posted over a year ago, the man explains, but heās stillĀ at a complete loss for what to do next because, he says,Ā āthis is the best relationship Iāve been in in years.ā
āJason is attentive and caring and is interested in taking our union further,ā he says, ābut I donāt know if I can ever trust him.Ā Iām not interested in having a boyfriend whose naughty bits are on display for the whole world to see!ā
Related:Ā Hetero Guys Open Up About Their Gay Porn Fetishes With Each Other
In her response, Prudence writes: āIām not sure why you feel like you canāt trust him. What about his having masturbated in front of a camera a few years ago has rendered him untrustworthy?ā
āI can understand feeling uncomfortable, certainly, and wondering whether you two are compatible in terms of how you view privacy, but trustworthiness doesnāt seem to be an issue here,ā sheĀ continues. āThereās nothing untrustworthy about jerking off for an audience.ā
Prudenceās advice: Talk to the guy.
āTell him what you found, ask him if heād be comfortable removing the videos, and have a serious conversation about what you both think about privacy,ā she says.
āOn the other hand,ā she continues, āif you honestly donāt believe you can date someone who has ever had an Xtube page, no matter what the circumstances, then do Jason a favor and end your relationship before it gets serious.ā
How would you respond if you found naughty videos of your significant other online? Sound off in the comments section below.
Derek A. Weakley
This is a case when some gays invent issues in their relationships. Oh boy
Rolland Skip Bretz
Get over it. It happen before you. He may have forgot about them. Talk to him and have him remove them. It called Communication
Daniel Salmeron
I would just do what any gay would do. Watch them. That’s yours now; they only get to watch the video
Skai Van den Veyver
This can’t be serious can it? xD It’s rather hilarious, however. xD
Eoin Maher
GET A GRIP DUDE! Seriously
Michael Neal Fraser
Really an emotional breakdown? Like ya didnt know your man is an video whore lmao
Bryan Allan Baker
Lord get over it, it’s the past. Make your own video please !!
Antony Nguyen
Gurl please, if you see the video and not turned on by it move on. Otherwise ask for what you like that you saw. Breakdown over an old video gurl please the sexual revolution happened in the 70’s aint nobody got time your your bs
SebastiƔn Gaspar
“Cried privately” LMFAO, besides they’ve been dating for 5 months and those are old videos, what’s the fucking problem? Lmfao again
Greg Ballard
I love all the common sense replies! You guys got it right. It’s before the relationship so this dude needs to grow up.
Stacy Imler
I’m so sad that his boyfriend is hot and obviously sexy enough to be viewed by the masses. Poor guy.
DCguy
I love the way the guy invents a phony problem.
“Oh, I don’t feel I can trust him”
Why not? Did he ever tell you he DIDN’T have videos up?
Damian Anthony
Marcus this will be ur next text to me lol
Frankie Trice
That is difficult to take .. When pics of”Bruiser” started surfacing, I knew it was time to go, and glad I did as the STDs started also showing up in my partner.
Steven Burr
Oh get over it
Mao Lei
I would be proud if my boyfriend gets the nuts to do so, lol. It’s so hypercritical he has a friend who likes online porn, but blames the users who generate online contents. Be thankful for what we have man.
Stache
“naughty bits”? Lol Porn guy needs to dump this silly drama queens ass. You just know things are only going to get much worse.
Dave Russo
What would I do? Enjoy the show!
Dustan Shelton
What a drama queen
Stache
Nine jo videos is a reason enough I don’t watch Xtube. One or two but damn.
Dieter Michaels
interesting to watch the entire Gay community ATTACK a man for having his own personal feelings. THIS is typical of todays LGBT community. They attack each other more than outsiders attack us. The man is entitled to his own feelings.
Captain Obvious
“Friend” tries to start drama, dramatic moron plays the pawn thinking about creating drama in his own relationship based on something that vanilla?
It wasn’t even a fetish video. When did gay men become bigger bible thumping prudes than actual bible thumping prudes?
Gay men used to be the sexually adventurous ones and now people are ready to pull out pitchforks if a man is anything but vanilla in bed. Are you only have sex for reproduction? I’ve got some bad news for you.
Tony Godorecci
Really, Dahling? You need to get a grip!
Jamie Watkins
Life’s complicated enough at times to waste time worrying about things people did before you knew them.
AtticusBennett
calm DOWN, Blanche. i mean, seriously. OMG! my boyfriend masturbated on video and shared it with others so they can enjoy his sexiness! WAHHHH!
get over your insecurities, you dolt. your boyfriend can do better than you.
Steve Russell
What’s the big deal? People date pornstars and nobody cares.
Rob Laughlin
If it bothers him enough, he should do them both a favor. End the Relationship and move on. And be grateful you found out before marrying.
Chris Sledge
Ć°??? Be single than, because to me you come off as an uptight princess so he has whacked it on camera and put it on the internet (if he like it I love it) that doesn’t change the dynamics of our relationship if I love or even if its just liking him I’m not willing to walk away because I’m a prude that’s dumb don’t be dumb Ć°???
tsmithknox
Break up with him! Nobody needs a high maintenance drama queen as their boyfriend. Best wishes finding someone who fits your idea of Mr. Perfect.
DCguy
@Dieter Michaels: stated: “interesting to watch the entire Gay community ATTACK a man for having his own personal feelings. THIS is typical of todays LGBT community. They attack each other more than outsiders attack us. The man is entitled to his own feelings.”
Funny, you seemed to have missed the part that it is that man who is attacking his boyfriend, calling him a liar and untrustworthy even though they have never had a conversation about this issue. If you feel that disagreeing with somebody is attacking them, then you must go through your entire life feeling attacked every day.
And interesting that you have no sympathy for the boyfriend. This guy is supposedly so upset that he writes to an advice columnist but doesn’t even have the decency to have a conversation with the man he claims he loves? THAT is an attack if you ask me.
Sounds more like you hate the LGBT community and were trying to find a reason to lash out.
Billy Budd
This is a non issue. He should take it naturally and watch the videos together with the boyfriend while they fuck at home.
AtticusBennett
“Iām not interested in having a boyfriend whose naughty bits are on display for the whole world to see”
this is nothing more than petty insecurity. Dieter in here seems to think he should be coddled in his insecurity. what nonsense.
“i don’t want to date someone that others have seen masturbate! I don’t want anyone to know what you look like naked!”
basically, his insecurity stems from a shame of “what others will think” – wake up, homo. you spent your pre-Out life worrying what Others Will Think, don’t waste your Now Out years doing the same dang thing.
John Kuehnle
Where do they get these stories?, nice pic btw
paul dorian lord fredine
my advice? grow up. like, you’ve never seen him jacking off in the last five months? boo hoo, it was before you met. so, he didn’t tell you about it. have you told him everything about yourself? talk it out and get over it.
Michael J. Murphy
Smile and say lucky me to have found such a sexy man.
oldman57
SERIOUSLY??? everyone has a past……GET OVER IT!!!!!! WOW………
Sand Nierenberg
It’s his business if that’s how he feels it’s not your place to say how someone else should feel begone morons
Georgie Land
‘Wahh, wahh!” Let him get over it and get his own life. If he doesn’t like it, then he can break up with his boyfriend and start anew. Cry baby!
Jake Overslaugh
DQ
Jim Fu Raskey
And Jerk off videos lmfao what a Lil sissy. Now if it was videos of him getting fisted that be different lol or gangbanged by 50 dudes in a row lol but Jerk off videos are harmless I’d tell him let’s make one together =P
Tony Gagliardi
Drama queen!
redcarpet30
So this was written by an 18 year old straight girl right??
Jesus christ, people have sex lives before you, especially masturbation lives! And some people like to be watched, it’s an ego boost. There is not a thing wrong with it.
Alan David Smith
if it bothers you that much ask him to take it down. but what he did is a year old. the past cannot be undone. so if you cant get past this. it might be time for you to set him free. i don’t wanna be judged by my past. and if it had been me the 1’st ? out of my mouth was why you were on x-tube?
Kevin J Desmond
Dude .. you don’t own him, if that’s what he likes doing then either accept it or move on and find somebody else. Oh and what he did before you knew him has NOTHING to do with you then or now.
Randy Judd
Hail Prudence!
Berkleyguy
I don’t know all the circumstances here but it sounds like it is a very old video. I think the reaction is a little over the top. I would tell my boyfriend, “Did you know that one of your old jack-off videos is still on X-Tube? You probably forgot about it that’s why I am telling you.” Of course he would want to know why I was on X-Tube. And I would probably say, “I was bored today and decided to scroll through some porn flicks and that’s when I saw your old j/o video.
QJ201
A good BF would say: I’m upset, but they turned me on…
nowliveit
It takes reading through a lot of aggressive and insensitive comments to find a whisper of humanity. These comments show a lot of broken, hurt-filled, hate-spewing gay folks with a few bright bulbs in the mix. Itās a sad state of our community that gay men are so hateful to each other.
Emotions matter. You may not see them but you cannot deny that you do feel them, that is until you give up on love and seal off your heart thus becoming a sex drone. Thatās when you can hurt and bully others without remorse. Thatās so special…
Hurt people, hurt people. Then they make fun of others and laugh it off while not being able to sense the cold that has settled inside.
Robert Guillermo Hernandez
and WHAT IS HE DOING to make HIM SO ANGRY …….. He who casts the FIRST STONE ……
Mark Pointon
LOL WTF – I’d be like “Oh really? We can do better than that”
Jerry Mitchell
Get Over It, Unless You Are Looking For An Excuse To End Your Relationship.
seasailor
Comments like the ones I have read here (with a few exceptions) make me completely ashamed to be gay and makes me wonder who the idiot was that thought we were in any way, shape, or form a ‘community’. The insensitive and hateful rhetoric against this poor man who has every right to his opinions and emotions is pretty sickening. It appears that most gay men now proudly wear their own thick-skinned battle scars and survivor badges at the cost of their humanity and compassion.
Alex Supertramp
http://w.tt/1WZ2WsK
GC1985
Lots of these comments condoning this behavior of the bf show why gay relationships rarely last past six months to begin with.
If I found out my bf has an xtube page his ass is out the door. This has nothing to do with Captain Oblivious talking about sexual adventure. Posting naked videos of yourself is essentially grave dishonesty.
I leave it cut and dry. No emotional breakdown. Dump the whore and move on. Chances are the xtube guy is probably hooking up with his xtube fans. The truth is I wouldn’t date either of these guys.
Daniel Barker
Everyone has a past. I see the videos as any other sexual conquest. Would I be unhappy with him keeping them up there while we date, yes. No one should be looking at my man’s junk when we’re together. I mean I just dated the town’s biggest and easiest bottom. I knew there was a past where most of the town had been in there, but I can’t fix that.
Geo Kas
We all need a friend who avidly watches porn to help us figure out if any unscrupulous assholes filmed us when we weren’t aware of it and shared it online.
Acosta Trey
Been there. Trash is trash
enlightenone
@Steve Russell: “…People date pornstars and nobody cares.” He does! This is a Queerty photoshop image. Too many of you are gullible and the same guys who will drop to your knees to give a BJ in the middle of a busy street or alley. Besides that, the trust issue is if the “boyfriend” didn’t tell him the videos are active while they were dating. It’s a breaker for most people!
b2rocketfan
So I just read this post. If he feels bad, talk with the boyfriend and see what happens next. Everyone that’s freaking out needs to quit freaking out. This guy he loves has some jo vids and it hit him hard. He’s allowed to have his feelings. If he wants to have a real, grown up relationship then he should have an open conversation with his BF. Not accusatory or crazy! Just a real, adult conversation.
Then if he decides he can’t be in the relationship, he should move on. He should realize that we all have our little secrets, though. Some of them are even posted on Xtube. š
Bob Kellerman
WORST CHOSEN PHOTO OF THE WEEK— more appropriate for “Man discovers his boyfriend impregnated his mother”
Alex Williams
I think the guy who jerked it online would be better off not being with such a drama queen.
Frederick M. Weisinger
We all have a past. Much ado about nothing. Were you a pure virgin..
Mike Muniz
http://gph.is/257jxAb
Mark Villnave
This is too funny
JessPH
G G G G G
Good Gawd. Get a Grip, Gurl
Stache
@nowliveit: @seasailor:
I’m actually glad most are busting this drama queens ass. Even Prudence’s response is “what the fuck”. He did it years ago and it’s none of your god damned business.
All she cares about is what the neighbors are going to think of her precious relationship. Can anyone even imagine being in the room with this dope much less in a relationship. Lol
My advice to the guy is dump this little twit asap and go enjoy and explore your life. There will plenty of time for monogamous relationships when your old and sex is no longer in the equation. You’ll look back and kick yourself for wasting your time with idiots like this.
Abel Bonilla-Ayala
Stay with him…what if he did a few amateur videos of him and his junk? Even if it was porn…
Stache
āI introduced him to my friend āBob,ā who is an avid watcher of online porn,ā the letter continues. āBob later told me about the page and sent me the link to it.ā
Another interesting point is he can’t even admit to watching porn (liar) and makes up a story about his friend “bob”. Lol
This queen has more issues then a magazine stand.